Some of
you may have read how a father here in the UK recently hanged himself just eighteen
months after his son took his own life following rumours about his sexuality. Following
his son's death, he began an anti-homophobic-bullying campaign, winning an
award from the charity Stonewall for his efforts. It would appear, however,
that he was finally overcome by grief.
Two lives
lost because homophobia is alive and kicking.
Homophobic
bullying (indeed, bullying of any kind) is always hard to deal with, yet deal
with it we must, but not alone. Half
the battle is telling someone what is happening and fighting the bullies
together. There can be no worse feeling than being bullied and trying, but
failing, to handle it alone; feelings of humiliation, anger and fear are bad
enough, but even worse is an appalling sense of helplessness and loneliness.
As I have
said before on the blogs, asking for help is not a sign of weakness; on the
contrary is a demonstration of maturity.
It is rarely
easy to develop a fighting spirit when, at heart, we are peace loving
individuals, but life often demands of us that we do just that. Openly gay men
and women will always be vulnerable to the less enlightened among the heterosexual
majority; a fighting spirit is not only necessary for our survival, but also shows
the bullies and homophobes that we
can play mind games too. There is a lot
to be said for beating an enemy at his or her own game.
So if any
readers are being bullied, DO confide in someone and get help. You are also
welcome to let off steam by contacting me at any time at rogertab@aol.com with 'Blog Reader' in the subject field.. Talking and/or writing
through our thoughts invariably helps clarify them and restore our self-confidence; in this case, confidence in our sexual identity to the extent we can even begin to
see a glimmer of light at the end of a long, dark tunnel.
Did I say it was easy?
A
FIGHTING SPIRIT
Once I hid my true self away
because I’m gay,
frightened to run the gamut
of what people might say,
raised to believe I should be
ashamed, that folks
would see in me someone
to despise. It took me
years to realize they are wrong
who fail to understand
that sexuality has to be genetic
or how else to explain
so many gay men and women
the world over?
I got angry about taking cover
from what some people (still) have
to say
about being gay
Now I show my true self openly
because I’m proud
of who I am and an integral
part of that is being gay;
I’ll not hide my true self away,
will run the gamut
of what people might say
(if I must) preferring
to trust in a common humanity
than voices calling
from shadows, goading us
to bigotry in the name
of this or that religion or culture
the world over
I grew weary of taking cover
from what some people (still) have
to say
about being gay
Yes, some people will look at me
and gossip
about my sexuality, say
gay people should be more discreet,
in spite of so-called equality
and Human Rights
because it isn’t fair on those who
continue to insist
it is a crime against nature or sin
against religion
for men to make love with men
or women with women
though love fight its way through
the politics of division
[From: On The Battlefields Of Love by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2010]
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