Gay people, of course, do not have a monopoly on secrets of the heart. For me, though, as regular readers well know, one of my darkest secrets was once my sexuality.
I had acknowledged to myself that I am gay by the time I was 14 years-old.
It had so been drummed into me during my vulnerable formative years how being gay was something dirty if not perverted that even as a young adult, it would take a severe nervous breakdown in my early 30s before I’d find the self-confidence to come out once and for all.
Those of
us free to be openly gay should never forget that there are many, many gay boys and girls, men and women
worldwide still suffering the awful fear, pain, and loneliness of a closet
heart.
This poem is a villanelle.
CLOSET
HEART
Secrets
of a closet heart,
like
claws of a trapped bear
ready to
tear us apart
Under
threat at the start,
nature’s
soul stripped bare;
secrets
of a closet heart
See
truth’s unerring dart
sent
flying through the air
ready to
tear us apart
No sweet
a fruit or tart
than
words we cannot share;
secrets
of a closet heart
Tools of
a far subtler art
than
Medusa’s stony glare,
ready to
tear us apart
Endgame,
a poison dart
(anytime,
anywhere);
secrets
of a closet heart
ready to
tear us apart
Copyright R. N. Taber 2010; 2014
[Note: An
earlier version of this poem appears under the title 'Dark Secrets' in On the Battlefields
of Love by R. N. Taber, Assembly Book, 2010
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