This poem was inspired by a recent conversation with a gay immigrant who saw a close friend executed in his home country for being gay. As a result, I find myself looking
back to dark years long ago when I was afraid to be openly gay. It has to be one
of the twenty-first century’s greater human tragedies that there are still gay
men and women across the world who, for one reason or another, feel unable to
burst open the closet door, seize and link up with whatever (or whoever) may be missing in their lives. True, it's rarely if ever easy, and even for love there is often a price to pay one way or another ... but it is also true that nothing ventured, nothing gained, and even human cost can often be negotiated to (almost) everyone's satisfaction, although it may well involve everyone concerned agreeing to a degree of compromise; nor does the latter have to be a bad thing, especially in a good cause.
Even here, in London UK, I
know and meet men and women, young and older, who remain convinced that being
gay is a stigma they have no wish to parade like a pink, inverted, triangle in a concentration camp.(For all its faults, the world today is better than that, surely?)
Oh, but what an unfulfilled life!
Oh, but what a waste of
humanity’s capacity for love!
Oh, but what an indictment
on certain socio-cultural-religious constraints on the individual worldwide simply
because he or she happens to be gay!
Ah, but we should never underestimate
love’s capacity for victory over its adversaries, especially over arrogant,
bigoted, fools who like to think they know better. The latter can discriminate as much as they like, oppress us as much as they like, but love is better than that, and gay love is no exception.
At time's Endgame, oppressed people everywhere (gay or straight) will prove their worth and get the upper hand; if we can help make that happen sooner rather than latter, all the better.
.
BRAVING THE DREAM or CONNECTING WITH MISSING LINKS
Once, I hid my feelings away
scared of what people might
say
if they knew I’m gay;
afraid, too, of my feelings
for you
and what you might say if
you knew
I’m gay
My feelings, they wanted out,
to brave whatever people may say
once they know I’m gay;
brave, too, my feelings for
you,
whatever you may say once
you know
I’m gay
Shut in a closet dark and
cold,
scared of missing out,
growing old,
a love story left untold;
afraid, too, you’ll never
know
how I love making love with you
so
in my dreams
My dreams, they wanted out,
to brave whatever people may say
once they know I’m gay;
brave, too, my feelings for
you,
whatever you may say once
you know
I’m gay
One day, I forced the closet
door,
braved the stares, sunlight,
and more;
suddenly, scared and unsure;
braved, too, my feelings for
you,
set my spirit free, let my
mind run true,
body in tears
My body, it so wanted out,
to brave whatever people might say
now they know I’m gay;
now their turn to choose how
to be
about your feelings once hid
from me,
afraid to be gay
Years for years, tears for
tears,
we braved each other’s worst
fears;
suddenly proud and sure;
braved, too, a gay love laid
bare
for the world, our joy to share if it dare
end its nightmares
Copyright R. N. Taber 2013
