Thursday 9 June 2016

Head in the Clouds, Reading Aloud


As a closet gay teenager 50+ years ago when gay relationships were a criminal offence here in the UK, it was ironically a Church of England minister (who insisted gay people would go to hell) that helped me through what were very traumatic years. Whenever you feel lost, he would say, look to God in Heaven for directions.

I did not go looking for God as I was already disillusioned on that count, but I did find myself gazing up at the sky one day and saw cloud shapes resembling two men holding hands and smiling down at me. After that, I coped with my secret life far better and with far fewer doubt as to whether or not I really had lost my way.

Yes, of course, it was all in my imagination. Even so, the heavens seemed to be telling me something, and who was I, a potential poet no less, to turn a blind eye? 

As for God, whatever we understand by that, I saw God and nature as inseparable one from the other even in those long-ago days. Consequently, as my consciousness of who and what I am developed and began to leave self-consciousness behind, a sense of spirituality I take from nature rather than religion was less and less threatened by my being gay. 

Acknowledging and accepting that we are gay is a cue for LIFE not an excuse to pursue a charade meant to persuade the heterosexual majority we are 'normal'. Besides, if normal is as normal does, it doesn't say much for many among the heterosexual majority anyway. On the other hand, if trying to be a good person (open mind, open heart) is as being a good person does, neither colour, creed, sex nor sexuality matter as much; on the contrary, all can play an important part in shaping us for the better...if we but let them, and refuse to be held back by conventions and dogma that need to get real.

Gay or straight, the sky's the limit as far as human potential is concerned. As for being gay, why do gay-unfriendly heterosexuals make such a big deal of it. We all share the same earth and sky, and LGBT is no more or less than another template for life.  (Certain socio-cultural-religious groups, please note!)

This poem is a villanelle.

HEAD IN THE CLOUDS, READING ALOUD

I take my cue for life from the sky,
where the sun winks back at me
among clouds spelling out, G-A-Y

Too often, the world makes me sigh
with frustration, rage, anxiety;
I take my cue for life from the sky

Now and then, people make me cry
until I find an answer to bigotry
among clouds spelling out, G-A-Y

Often advised to let sleeping dogs lie
than let them wake up to reality,
I take my cue for life from the sky

Once, told to hide my true self and lie,
I found an anthology of sexuality
among clouds spelling out, G-A-Y

Walking tall and holding the head high
can test even sense and sensibility;
I take my cue for life from the sky,
among clouds spelling out, G-A-Y

Copyright R. N. Taber 2016




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