http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber
I am often asked if I had any doubts about telling people I am gay. I had, after all, spent my entire youth and early young manhood being made to feel a criminal for my sexuality.
Even since gay relationships were decriminalized here in the UK (in 1967) it has taken years for many (sadly, by no means all) people’s attitudes to change for the better. So, yes, I had LOTS of doubts. Yet, awful, feelings of guilt and despair about staying in that damn closet a second longer eventually overrode them all. I had, after all, nothing to feel guilty about. As for despair, it goes hand in hand with guilt. Tackle one, and you tackle both.
Love comes in many shapes and forms so, yes, I knew about love. But I had been brought up to believe that there is no such thing as ‘real’ love between two gay people, that all we can hope for is sex and that is a ‘sin’. Oh, bollocks!
As it turned out, listening to gay love, if a little late in the day, proved to be one of the best moves I’ve ever made. I should add that it has greatly heightened my sense of spiritual as well as general well-being and peace of mind. Oh, and, yes, it is (of course) great fun.
Whatever our family, social, cultural or religious identity, there is always room for same sex relationships if only because love does not discriminate. Moreover, love - in all its shapes and forms - is a global consciousness, not some personal whim to be dismissed (or worse) by any who refuse to acknowledge its integrity.
LISTENING TO LOVE
Love gave me flowers
that faded away;
Love gave me kisses
that faded away;
Love told me any doubts
would fade away
Love did not mind
we’re gay
People took your flowers,
threw them away;
they scorned our kisses,
called us names;
the same people warned us
we’d rue the day
Some people mind
we’re gay
The language of flowers
speaks of love;
the heat of your kisses
speaks of love;
our love asks but people put
their doubts away
Copyright R. N. Taber 1982; 2012
[From: Tracking the Torchbearer by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2012]
[Note: I wrote this poem while recovering from a severe nervous breakdown for which having been made to feel something of a freak for years because of my sexuality was partly responsible. Writing has always been a form of creative therapy for me; it contributed considerably to my recovery as did my resolving, once and for all, to stop playing Jack-in-the-box with my sexual identity.]
I am often asked if I had any doubts about telling people I am gay. I had, after all, spent my entire youth and early young manhood being made to feel a criminal for my sexuality.
Even since gay relationships were decriminalized here in the UK (in 1967) it has taken years for many (sadly, by no means all) people’s attitudes to change for the better. So, yes, I had LOTS of doubts. Yet, awful, feelings of guilt and despair about staying in that damn closet a second longer eventually overrode them all. I had, after all, nothing to feel guilty about. As for despair, it goes hand in hand with guilt. Tackle one, and you tackle both.
Love comes in many shapes and forms so, yes, I knew about love. But I had been brought up to believe that there is no such thing as ‘real’ love between two gay people, that all we can hope for is sex and that is a ‘sin’. Oh, bollocks!
As it turned out, listening to gay love, if a little late in the day, proved to be one of the best moves I’ve ever made. I should add that it has greatly heightened my sense of spiritual as well as general well-being and peace of mind. Oh, and, yes, it is (of course) great fun.
Whatever our family, social, cultural or religious identity, there is always room for same sex relationships if only because love does not discriminate. Moreover, love - in all its shapes and forms - is a global consciousness, not some personal whim to be dismissed (or worse) by any who refuse to acknowledge its integrity.
LISTENING TO LOVE
Love gave me flowers
that faded away;
Love gave me kisses
that faded away;
Love told me any doubts
would fade away
Love did not mind
we’re gay
People took your flowers,
threw them away;
they scorned our kisses,
called us names;
the same people warned us
we’d rue the day
Some people mind
we’re gay
The language of flowers
speaks of love;
the heat of your kisses
speaks of love;
our love asks but people put
their doubts away
Copyright R. N. Taber 1982; 2012
[From: Tracking the Torchbearer by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2012]
[Note: I wrote this poem while recovering from a severe nervous breakdown for which having been made to feel something of a freak for years because of my sexuality was partly responsible. Writing has always been a form of creative therapy for me; it contributed considerably to my recovery as did my resolving, once and for all, to stop playing Jack-in-the-box with my sexual identity.]
No comments:
Post a Comment