https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber
"The quality of mercy is not strain’d, It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven/Upon the place beneath" - Shakespeare - The Merchant of Venice (Act-IV, Scene-I).
I love walking in a gentle rain; it so helps clear my head, no small mercy as my head is often cluttered with feelings and ideas I could well do without as I grow older. (I will be 74 in December.) There are days when my bad foot plays up, and I feel so angry; angry with the world for all but passing me by to the extent I feel I'm missing out, but even angrier with myself for feeling this way when there are millions of people across the world enduring far greater hardship and crises.
Walking in the rain helps me to regain a sense of perspective, often the first thing to go into free fall when a person is in pain or simply having a bad day. Having had this discussion with various people over many years who, at times, have felt much the same way, I woke up the other day feeling an urge to express the experience in a poem, and share it. If one of the worst feelings in the world is guilt, , it is also one of the first feelings to grab hold of us when we are feeling sorry for ourselves. We know there are so many people so much worse off than ourselves, yet that pales into insignificance against whatever it is that's dragging us into a downward spiral we need, want to fight and break, but just can't.
Earth Mother works in mysterious ways; now harsh and unforgiving, now the complete opposite...not unlike human nature. My late mother once commented along the lines that, for her, a gentle rain acts as a cleansing of mind-body-spirit, only temporarily perhaps, but time enough to recharge its batteries and make sense of a world in which every day can well be a battle against bigotry, hypocrisy, dogma, convention...whatever.it is that’s threatening our well-being. Are we or they in the wrong? We need to clear our heads, let inner eye and native sense of fairness have their say...do we not?
I understood that I am gay at 14 years-old, yet throughout my 20's and into my early 30's, I was constantly doing battle in my closet with points of view invariably put forward with a logic of sorts, and with conviction, that would send mind-body-spirit into free fall time and again. As regular readers know, I eventually had a mental breakdown and attempted suicide. Recovery was tough, and took several years, but during that time I received so much support, experienced so much human kindness from unexpected sources. that it bears no comparison with a walk in the rain to clear my head. Yet, the latter, too, has its place in our lives, can help rework and restore both confidence in self and humanity; whether male or female, relating to an LGBT ethos or a 100% heterosexuality, I suggest we all need to find ways to get and stay as closely in touch with ourselves and the world around us - including the natural world - as we can. If a walk in the rain can help, go for it.
A GENTLE RAIN
Traipsing in the rain,
getting soaking wet, beyond caring
about health concerns,
cash flow problems, fiasco politics
and other crises
threatening to attack brain cells
but for mind-body-spirit
having none of it, a gentle rain
come to lift a sinking heart
Walking in the rain,
listening to a furious past-present
ranting in my ears,
growing quiet as kinder memories
find a way through,
as if summoned by piano fingers
to play favourite songs,
recalling all the beautiful people
that are the better part of me
Humming in the rain,
dragging footsteps now quickening
like a sad heart
daring to retrace the kinder side
of a life lost its way
among the garbage-in, garbage-out
of a human nature
so easily led astray by expectations,
left feeling angry, let down
Singing in the rain,
oblivious to any stares from passers-by
curious as to how anyone
might find within themselves
any such expression
as bringing home the sheer joy of life
for its own sake
to one last seen or heard of on the run
from complex life choices
Clouds parting, Apollo
attending a native sense for human need,
penetrating sleepy clouds,
the better to shine on lonely people
taking on the role of martyrs
by way of covering for the shortcomings
of a consciousness
preferring to put self-awareness down
to a short circuit of sorts
Laughing in the rain, free
as a bird from cares of past-present-future
resolved to let the world
see and take me for the better part
of all I am (warts 'n' all)
like any human being finding their way
through such shades of light
and dark by which Earth Mother continues
to test all human mettle
Copyright R. N. Taber, 2019
[Note: This poem also appears on my general blog today; for any readers who may be interested, I started it up some years ago to help - albeit in a small but (hopefully) effective way - to make the less discerning heterosexual aware that there is more to anyone than their sexuality; many if not most either cannot or will not see beyond the stereotypes surrounding us. As I have said so many times on the blogs, our differences do not make us different, only human.]
"The quality of mercy is not strain’d, It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven/Upon the place beneath" - Shakespeare - The Merchant of Venice (Act-IV, Scene-I).
I love walking in a gentle rain; it so helps clear my head, no small mercy as my head is often cluttered with feelings and ideas I could well do without as I grow older. (I will be 74 in December.) There are days when my bad foot plays up, and I feel so angry; angry with the world for all but passing me by to the extent I feel I'm missing out, but even angrier with myself for feeling this way when there are millions of people across the world enduring far greater hardship and crises.
Walking in the rain helps me to regain a sense of perspective, often the first thing to go into free fall when a person is in pain or simply having a bad day. Having had this discussion with various people over many years who, at times, have felt much the same way, I woke up the other day feeling an urge to express the experience in a poem, and share it. If one of the worst feelings in the world is guilt, , it is also one of the first feelings to grab hold of us when we are feeling sorry for ourselves. We know there are so many people so much worse off than ourselves, yet that pales into insignificance against whatever it is that's dragging us into a downward spiral we need, want to fight and break, but just can't.
Earth Mother works in mysterious ways; now harsh and unforgiving, now the complete opposite...not unlike human nature. My late mother once commented along the lines that, for her, a gentle rain acts as a cleansing of mind-body-spirit, only temporarily perhaps, but time enough to recharge its batteries and make sense of a world in which every day can well be a battle against bigotry, hypocrisy, dogma, convention...whatever.it is that’s threatening our well-being. Are we or they in the wrong? We need to clear our heads, let inner eye and native sense of fairness have their say...do we not?
I understood that I am gay at 14 years-old, yet throughout my 20's and into my early 30's, I was constantly doing battle in my closet with points of view invariably put forward with a logic of sorts, and with conviction, that would send mind-body-spirit into free fall time and again. As regular readers know, I eventually had a mental breakdown and attempted suicide. Recovery was tough, and took several years, but during that time I received so much support, experienced so much human kindness from unexpected sources. that it bears no comparison with a walk in the rain to clear my head. Yet, the latter, too, has its place in our lives, can help rework and restore both confidence in self and humanity; whether male or female, relating to an LGBT ethos or a 100% heterosexuality, I suggest we all need to find ways to get and stay as closely in touch with ourselves and the world around us - including the natural world - as we can. If a walk in the rain can help, go for it.
A GENTLE RAIN
Traipsing in the rain,
getting soaking wet, beyond caring
about health concerns,
cash flow problems, fiasco politics
and other crises
threatening to attack brain cells
but for mind-body-spirit
having none of it, a gentle rain
come to lift a sinking heart
Walking in the rain,
listening to a furious past-present
ranting in my ears,
growing quiet as kinder memories
find a way through,
as if summoned by piano fingers
to play favourite songs,
recalling all the beautiful people
that are the better part of me
Humming in the rain,
dragging footsteps now quickening
like a sad heart
daring to retrace the kinder side
of a life lost its way
among the garbage-in, garbage-out
of a human nature
so easily led astray by expectations,
left feeling angry, let down
Singing in the rain,
oblivious to any stares from passers-by
curious as to how anyone
might find within themselves
any such expression
as bringing home the sheer joy of life
for its own sake
to one last seen or heard of on the run
from complex life choices
Clouds parting, Apollo
attending a native sense for human need,
penetrating sleepy clouds,
the better to shine on lonely people
taking on the role of martyrs
by way of covering for the shortcomings
of a consciousness
preferring to put self-awareness down
to a short circuit of sorts
Laughing in the rain, free
as a bird from cares of past-present-future
resolved to let the world
see and take me for the better part
of all I am (warts 'n' all)
like any human being finding their way
through such shades of light
and dark by which Earth Mother continues
to test all human mettle
Copyright R. N. Taber, 2019
[Note: This poem also appears on my general blog today; for any readers who may be interested, I started it up some years ago to help - albeit in a small but (hopefully) effective way - to make the less discerning heterosexual aware that there is more to anyone than their sexuality; many if not most either cannot or will not see beyond the stereotypes surrounding us. As I have said so many times on the blogs, our differences do not make us different, only human.]
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