A Christmas Truce

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This entry is from my general poetry blog from its archives for December 2010.

Religious festivals should bring people together. Yet, so often they follow the age-old tradition of religions worldwide and, in the end, but cause division among family, friends, neighbours....

Christmas is no exception for many of us.

Even where people are brought together for a day or two, it is often no more than calling a truce. Before we know it, we are divided; fighting, insulting, demanding more than we deserve, failing to enter into each other’s points of view...or simply ignoring each other again.

Even so, calling a truce can be a new beginning ... if we let it, always bearing in mind that it takes two to tango' there has to be the will to get together, albeit often absent for all kinds of reasons it is not for any of us to judge.

A CHRISTMAS TRUCE?

Sought, a safe haven on Christmas Day
from family stuff, presents round a tree,
giving the rein to how things should be,
denying what stares in each tinsel face;
A stranger in red mentioned such a place
where I might escape, find sanctuary,
even peace - away from all pretence
at burying home truths under layers of truce,
letting sweet carols on the ear replace
a harsher cacophony of lies, more lies,
accusation (and retribution?) for crimes
against the ego (never mind humanity)
in the daily round of sheer hypocrisy
and petty discrimination against whatever
points of view that can’t, won’t, shouldn’t
always go with the flow in case we tread
on Someone’s feelings, trigger into motion
a tedious, even violent chain reaction,
that might go on for years, spill more tears
than for Judas or lied about Christmas

So, where to go? I asked a jolly man in red
who started laughing, said to use some
common sense and moved on, leaving me
for dead among piles of pretty wrapping,
more calls for a truce, plates of mince pies
and sausage rolls blind to a soul’s fears,
deaf to its prayers

[From: A Feeling For The Quickness Of Time by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2005]

Never Alone at Christmas

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Christmas - like all religious festivals – is a time for coming together. Sadly, far too often it is also a time when divisions become more clearly marked than ever. Where family and friends do come together, those who are and/or made to feel excluded can feel terribly alone and isolated. Birthdays, anniversaries, special moments we long to share with family and friends, these are times when not being able to share them, for whatever reason, can make us feel physically sick with the intensity of exclusion.

It is not only gay people, of course, who are often made to feel excluded because they haven’t lived up to the expectations of others but made their own way in life. It is high time some people realised that, much as we may want the best for family and friends, we have no right to tell them how to live their lives; we should respect the decisions they make instead of harping on about how they could and should have done things differently. Nor is turning to socio-cultural-religious traditions any excuse for making people feel guilty about how they choose to live their lives...or rejecting them for it. [Multicultural societies will never work well until more of its leading lights get real and bring their followers into the 21st century.]

Let those of us who fare better, wish all those who are alone and unhappy a peaceful time over this period of Christmas, and always. Peace of mind may be elusive but it is there if we look hard enough; it involves keeping faith with ourselves as well as if not more than with each other. Gay, or straight, male or female, we all need to believe in ourselves and can but trust others will come to believe in us too, albeit it may take time for some to accept us for who and what we are.

Me? I’ve been on my own on Christmas Day for years now and love it. I can do exactly as I please, which usually includes over-eating (especially chocolates and other goodies I deny myself all year) as well as mulling very self-indulgently over Christmases past (some wonderful, some awful) and be glad that close friends will be around for (hopefully) years to come.

At the end of the day, there are always loved ones to keep us company, whether or not they are still with us. whenever we feel lonely or unhappy. for any reason; there is always much comfort to be found among our kinder ghosts.

This poem is a villanelle.

NEVER ALONE AT CHRISTMAS

Alone at Christmas, yet never alone
(memories flooding mind and heart)
among flowers of a peace full grown

For errors made, we can but atone
(join a common humanity for a start)
alone at Christmas, yet never alone

May the world look past a tombstone
(in whose design we played our part)
among flowers of a peace full grown

Recalling wise words written in stone
(keeps us close, though made to part)
alone at Christmas, yet never alone

Live by the Poetry of Kindness shown,
and to others, its words impart…
among flowers of a peace full grown

Though time, like a bird, quickly flown,
hear its love songs as swiftly return;
alone at Christmas, yet never alone...
among flowers of a peace full grown

Copyright R. N. Taber 2009; 2018