Shades of Grey

 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

“Modern man talks of a battle with nature, forgetting that, if he won the battle, he would find himself on the losing side.” - E. F. Schumacher

“One of the first conditions of happiness is that the link between Man and Nature shall not be broken.” - Leo Tolstoy 

“The best friend on earth of man is the tree: When we use the tree respectfully and economically, we have one of the greatest resources of the earth.”- Frank Lloyd Wright

“Nature's music is never over; her silences are pauses, not conclusions.” - Mary Webb

Now, tomorrow will see us mark the end of 2022, each in our own way.  Across the world, people will be coming together to celebrate New Year’s Eve; a veritable feast of music, dance, relief at having survived another year and hope that the next will, indeed, be a happy one.  

We can, each and every one of us, only do our best to see our hopes fulfilled, subject though all of us are to circumstances beyond our control. All the more reason though, surely, to enjoy the Here-and Now, let it fill our lives with bright colours and inspiring sounds which, though they fade, even die, they, and the person they encouraged us to be, live on in every mind-body-spirit, heart-and-soul, they ever touched.

Oh, and again, many thanks for dropping by, much appreciated, and I hope you will join me again soon for my first post-poem of 2023… assuming that I can continue to rise above - if not quite get the better of - the mess in which ten years of hormone therapy for my prostate cancer have left my thought processes.😉

SHADES OF GREY

The world around me,
various shades of grey, a sad, 
often lonely place…
Apollo having all but taken
his leave of us, trusting
we’ll manage gloomy days
as best we can,
let mind-body-spirit aid and abet us
in making wiser choices 

Weary, a natural world
sick of human nature abusing it
in the name of ‘progress’
without taking bold steps enough
to ensure its past-present
may yet anticipate a kinder future
than marks its pages,
colours its history, common humanity
but a chancer’s reality

Shades of green and gold
courtesy of Apollo’s rays of hope,
a brave one-upmanship
taking its cue from any You-Me-Us 
that haunts the history
of a humankind trying to find its way
through multiple shades
of blue-green-gold urging we'll get wise
to its potential demise

Though we suffer its every shade of grey,
trust heart-and-soul to save the day

Copyright R. N. Taber 2022

[Note: This poet-poem also appears on my general poetry blog today. I am also working on a new gay-specific poem  which I hope to publish here soon.] RT

Starting Over

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“Heaven is under our feet as well as over our heads.” – Henry David Thoreau

“The mind is its own place and in itself can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven.” – John Milton

“It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then the victory is yours. It cannot be taken from you, not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell.” - Buddha

Now, overheard in a supermarket on Christmas Eve:

1st Person: “I so love this time of year. It’s so good to unwind, but it’s over too soon, and where are we then? I mean, where’s the excitement, the fun, in a whole new year stretching ahead that’s likely to stress us out all over again?”

2nd Person: “Life is what you make it. For my part, I love the feeling of starting all over again and being given the chance to put a few things right and be happy again. I can’t explain it, but it’s not a bad feeling, quite the opposite…”

I so empathised with that second person. Although I do not subscribe to any of the world religions, I am neither atheist or agnostic. Nature has always filled me with a sense of spirituality I cannot explain, even to myself. Maybe that’s why I write poetry, as an attempt to define the indefinable; not just a feeling, nor a religious faith, but a faith, no less. Whatever, it has seen me through some pretty bad times and some great times too. For better or worse, it has made of my life what, at surface level does not amount to much, but, a n ‘other’ self in me recognizes that it has been an incredible learning curve.

I guess it’s the same for everyone, although in my case it has taken 77+ years to even begin to understand what has to be, in no small part, the role of personal space in the overall meaning of life. As for hope, optimism, positive thinking - whatever we like to call it – maybe that, in turn is the role of the kind of faith that nature inspires in many of us?

For me, anyway, Spinoza’s sense of God and Nature being much of a one-ness, has seen me has seen me through more ups and downs of life to my late 70’s…and I suspect hasn’t finished with me quite yet. So, a new chapter looming in the shape of a new year, is scary, but curiously exciting one. 

Who knows that lies ahead for any of us? We can but trust that still, small voice that goes by whatever name we choose, whatever our personal space learns to feels OK with…? Having grown in the bigoted 1950’s, is it any wonder that it took me until my 30’s to listen to mine and tell the world I’m gay…?

STARTING OVER

End of another year looming,
a global consciousness continuing to plead 
for peace and goodwill
to take root in the hearts of warmongers
in high places left swivelling
on comfy chairs in plush, warm home zones,
rehearsing a Rhetoric of Peace
along with political ends, in keeping with a faux morality
that haunts a weary humanity

End of another year looming,
a global consciousness continuing to hope
for kinder times ahead
on the backs of the quick and the dead
left grieving losses, asking questions,
looking for answers where angels fear to tread
lest they encounter lost souls 
asking the way to a safe house heard tell of called Heaven,
Peace of Mind, second to none

End of another year looming,
mind-body-spirit busy working out
how best to survive;
in or lose, resolving to understand
just who we are
by the end of it all (one way or another) 
not least for listening, believing
in each other, and lending a helping hand, ear, eye, whatever.;
life force, human endeavour

Heart-and-soul preparing to get the better of our flaws again;
mind-body-spirit of being human

Copyright R. N. Taber. 2022

[Note: This post-poem also appears on my general poetry blog today.] RT 

Hello, Everyone, from London UK

 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

“Faith is a passionate intuition.” - William Wordsworth  

“Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase.” - Martin Luther King, Jr. 

“Faith is an oasis in the heart which will never be reached by the caravan of thinking.” - Khalil Gibran

“The belief that one's own view of reality is the only reality is the most dangerous of all delusions”. - Paul Watzlawick

Now, it is the day before Christmas wherever the birth of Jesus Christ is celebrated; a time, too, to reflect on just what any religious faith means to us, both personally and universally.

As regular readers will know, I consider myself a pantheist. Pantheists believe that God is nature.

Why do I think this way? I have no idea, except that I could never relate to a personified God, yet whenever I have engaged closely with nature, I have always experienced a sense of spirituality which I had always associated with religion, although religion had never given me access to the same experience; a very intimate experience, I should add.

No one person’s perspective on life, faith, whatever, will ever be quite the same, not least because we are all different.  That is not to say that one or other perspective is right or wrong, simply an integral part of who we are. 

Me, I find various religious dogma too prescriptive and often incompatible with my perspective on life as all-embracing, all-inclusive; no excluding anyone on the basis of gender, sexual identity, walk of life etc. Humanity thrives on our differences, differences we need to accept and respect. Religious leaders profess to agree, yet their dogma argues differently. Accordingly, many of their followers may argue differently too.

As regular readers will also be very aware, I am very much in favour of agreeing to differ in a spirit of peace and love, not the kind of divisiveness that causes, families to estrange, nations to declare war. <<wry bardic grin>>

Sadly, human nature is such that we often find ourselves caught on either side of various divides, that cannot or will not see where each is coming from, cannot or will not bring themselves to communicate and even try to understand and find common ground.

Human nature itself is complex, confusing, invariably expected to explain itself, when our actions cannot always be explained away; feelings are not necessarily the same as motives and do not lend themselves easily to the vocabulary of reason. From early years, we are taught that to understand ourselves and each other we need to be insightful as to what motivates, even justifies certain actions.  Yet, as the quotations above suggest, there are elements within all of us that even we, ourselves, are at pains to explain away.

Anyway, enough of my amateurish attempt to explain my deeper sentiments from which has evolved an all-inclusiveness that I try to inject into many of my poems. How far I succeed or not is up to the reader to decide.😉

It is Christmas Eve and, in the Spirit of Christmas, I want to thank you all for looking in on my blog posts and poems, it means a lot to me.

All that remains, for now, is to wish you all safe, well and hopeful always. Sadly, the ways of the world and human nature are such that this is not always the case. Even so, we can but keep looking on the bright(er) side of life and do our best to spread happiness, comfort and joy along the way; rarely easy, yet we can but try.

Whether we celebrate Christmas or not (I don’t) may the spirit of Christmas - one of hope, peace and kindness - be with us all.

Oh, and yes, I am working on a new poem, so do drop by again soon.

Take care, folks, whoever and wherever you are.

Hugs,

Roger

PS Many thanks to those readers who take the trouble to point out any print or spelling errors in some of my poems; I always take note, re-read the poem as it appears on the screen and make any necessary amendments.

[Note: This post-poem also appears on my general poetry blog today.] RT

Bells, Messaging the Spirit of Christmas

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“Christmas… is love in action. Every time we love, every time we give, it's Christmas.” - Dale Evans

“If there are occasions when my grape turned into a raisin and my joy bell lost its resonance, please forgive me. Charge it to my head and not to my heart.” - Jesse Jackson

“Oh, Christmas isn't just a day, it's a frame of mind.” – ‘Kris Kringle’ in the movie, Miracle on 34th Street (1947)

“I will honour Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. I will live in the Past, the Present, and the Future. The Spirits of all Three shall strive within me. I will not shut out the lessons that they teach.” - ‘Scrooge’ in Stave 4 of  A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens

“The temple bell stops but I still hear the sound coming out of the flowers.” - Matsuo Basho

Reader C. C. who lives in East London, has asked for "...a Christmas poem that gay and other LBT readers, especially any rejected by family and peers for our sexual identity - seen as an abuse against certain cultural ideals - can relate to, while continuing to identify with a universal  'spirit' of Christmas, regardless of cultural demands."

Well, C.C.I have done my best and can but hope you are able to relate to the poem-post below and at least some of the quotations above.

During my first winter term at Junior School, (some 70 years ago…oo-err!) a teacher asked what we most enjoy at Christmas. “Presents, sir!", more than half the class yelled. One boy simply put his hand up. When the teacher indicated for him to speak, he said, “I enjoy it because people are much nicer and kinder.” “A good point,” said the teacher with feeling, “I daresay many people would agree with you about other religious festivals as well…” He then changed the subject, but I wasn’t the only one left reflecting on his words… and continue to do so. 😉 

As regular readers know, I became as disillusioned with most religious leaders and world religions as with most  politicians and world politics generally over the years, and now think of myself as a Pantheist. 

Now, having written and enjoyed reading poetry for as long as I can remember, I have tried to write a Poem for Christmas that reflects the common spirit of world religions, an all-embracing inclusiveness often found wanting in the interpretation of various dogma associated with them. And, no, I do not exclude Christianity. 

Although I respect anyone’s religious Beliefs, I reserve the right (as regular readers will also know) to agree to differ…😉

BELLS, MESSAGING THE SPIRIT OF CHRISTMAS

Bells! Ringing out the same message
over centuries of fear
and pain, ringing out yet again
to remind the world
of such love and peace for all souls
striving, even fighting 
for peace of mind, but wishful thinking 
among any made to suffer hate and hypocrisy
poisoning a common humanity

They know, the bells, and feel our pain
as and when we struggle
to rise above it all, find peace and love
within each other,
endeavour to let the world know, for all 
its many differences,
that 'Love rules OK' and will find a way
to make its presence plainly and believably told,
no LGBT folks, left out in the cold

Hear the joyful sound of Christmas bells,
sending a message 
of peace, hope, love and goodwill 
to a common humanity,
men, women and children, no exceptions
for gender, ethnicity 
or sexual identity, celebrating heart-and-soul
of You-Me-Us by drawing on its multiple voices,
addressing the Spirit of Christmas

It's an all-inclusive You-Me-Us, a new generation,
acknowledging the kinder side of being human

Copyright R. N. Taber, 2022

[Note: The greater part of this post-poem also appears on my general poetry blog today.] RT

Lines on the Politics of Personal Space

 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

“Friendship improves happiness and abates misery by the doubling of our joy and the dividing of out grief.” Marcus Tullius Cicero

 “We are all different. There is no such thing as a standard or run-of-the-mill human being, but we share the same human spirit.” – Stephen Hawking

“As an anthropologist, I believe strongly in our common humanity. We can rise above the tribal divisions that have caused so much anguish and real damage in the past.” - Alice Roberts

“Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact”.  -William James

Again, not a gay-specific post-poem today, but no apologies for that; it also appears on my general blog. Many people, especially LGBT + folks, including yours truly, have been very disturbed and upset by the banning of rainbow armbands on the pitch during the World Cup in Qatar in support of diversity  and Human Rights; even fans wearing similarly supportive headgear have been told to remove it before entering the ground. Even so,  this action by the authorities - including and backed by FIFA - has possibly brought the subject  even more to the fore of people's minds across the world than was intended; an own goal, so to speak, by Qatar.

Oh, and one cannot help but admire and applaud the Iranian football  team's bravery for refusing to sing their national anthem by way of making a similar protest.. Hopefully, they will not be subjected to abuse by the Iranian regime on their return home...

Now, In many ways, today’s poem-post continues yesterday’s theme/s. As regular readers will know, and some share the sentiment, growing old(er) can be heavy going at any age; either the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak or circumstances cause us to lose heart altogether and depression sets in. Somehow, we have to find our own way to rise above certain everyday ups and downs that challenge us all. (No, never easy, but… we have a choice?)

I recently had a bath lift installed after being unable to get out of the bath for a good thirty minutes some weeks ago, due to mobility problems. 😀 A walk-in shower might have been suitable for some, but not someone like myself who needs to be extra careful not to get water in my ears due to perforated eardrums. After being trapped that first time, I did devise a strategy for getting in and out of the bath, but involved a degree of acrobatics that was an accident waiting to happen. Now I feel safer. 

Two close friends were a huge help and supervised my first attempts. They helped boost my patience and self-confidence to the extent that today I managed my first unsupervised bath, using the lift with no one around to help even if I needed it. Sounds simple enough, I know, but nothing is simple once years of hormone therapy for prostate cancer have messed with your thought processes. Yes, I experienced a few teething problems today, but at least I will find the next time I take a bath, a less scary and more relaxing experience.

We all need help sometimes, just as we all need to find our own pace for doing whatever, despite the pace of modern life threatening to leave us behind for one reason or another. 

Well, let it threaten; the human spirit is not easily put down… not for long, anyway, despite any temporary put-downs…

LINES ON THE POLITICS OF PERSONAL SPACE

Life is making the most of its seasons,
growing older, hopefully wiser to the tricks
time so loves to play on us all,
mind-body-spirit continuing to engage 
with an enduring heart-and-soul, 
endeavouring to keep us on the right track,
no matter such ways of a world
that would have us playing deaf, blind and dumb 
to the Politics of Outcome

It’s a tried and tested mind-body-spirit
needs to keep drawing on the native patience
at its command, constantly encouraging us
all to stay true to an evergreen heart-and-soul
urging we engage with patience, 
such patience as will see us through tough times,
head held high, resolutely refusing 
to be cowed by such ways of the world as see many
feeling defeated and empty

The world may well have its reasons,
temptations, and calls to You-Me-Us to comply,
though heart-and-soul cries out
to defy, ignore, turn a deaf ear, no matter
any alternative desires;
wiser by far to steer through troubles and strife,
follow the road map our senses
assure us will lead to far kinder, better times in store,
well worth waiting, working for...

Such is the gift of heart-and-soul, to a shared humanity,
if but the patience to devise a winning strategy

Copyright R.N. Taber, 2022

Hello, everyone, from London UK

 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

"Peace cannot be achieved through violence; it can only be attained through understanding". Ralph Waldo Emerson

“It is far better to endure patiently a smart which nobody feels but yourself than to commit a hasty action whose evil consequences will extend to all connected with you.” - ― Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre

“And sure enough, even waiting will end...if you can just wait long enough.” ― William Faulkner

"Never cut a tree down in the wintertime. Never make a negative decision in the low time. Never make your most important decisions when you are in your worst moods. Wait. Be patient. The storm will pass. The spring will come." - Robert H. Schuller

Hi, folks,

Yet again, I am working on a new poem; the spirit is as willing as ever, but it is a grim looking morning outside and inspiration is not yet quite ready to compensate for it. 😉

A bad night with the prostate cancer hasn't helped; even though it was not diagnosed as aggressive back in 2012, I was not prepared for years of broken sleep. Even so, I continue to feel encouraged and inspired by so many people across the world having to endure far worse circumstances then yours truly, not least the homeless and dying.

Many years ago, at school, I studied Shakespeare's King Lear for A-level GCE Exam; I was only studying two subjects, the other one was French, and I needed to pass both to go to Library Schools - for which I had been conditionally accepted. I failed the French exam, not once, but twice because my oral was not up to scratch. I was devastated and and left school in 1964 with no clear idea of what the future had in store for me. In those days, relatively few people understood homosexuality and were even less tolerant of LGBT+ folks than many still are.

It was King Lear that came to my rescue. Of all the wonderful quotes to be found in Shakespearean texts, perhaps the least likely, but one that has seen me through some tough times all my life, has been from Act 2 where Lear, raging against the cruelties of daughters, Goneril and Regan, cries:

"You heavens, give me that patience, patience, I need...!"

Now, I am a Sagittarian and it would take me another 12 years to get a university degree  and eventually qualify as a graduate chartered librarian, during which time, I needed to draw on far more patience than comes naturally to anyone born under a fire sign...

Generally speaking, attitudes towards LGBT+ folks then left much to be desired and, for a variety of reasons, I stayed in a dark, lonely closet for more years than I care to remember. Slowly but surely, attitudes are changing as more people begin to appreciate that sexual identity is not a matter of choice. 

As I have said on previous posts, one of the greater tragedies of modern life is that many world societies and religions have no understanding of the LGBT+ mindset; in my case, it was this that led to a nervous breakdown in the late 1970'swhich would ,in turn, lead to lead to my coming 'out' and starting the gay poetry blog.

Oh, but I do indeed owe King Lear, more than I could have dreamed or hoped for way back in my schooldays...!  wry bardic grin

So, too ,'new' reader, K W, who dismisses my regular use of quotations prior to the main body of my poetry-posts as "a load of literary b- shit" may understand why we must agree to differ...?

Bye, for now, dear readers, and I hope to be back with another poem very soon.

Hugs,

Roger

[Note: this post also appears on my gay poetry blog today.] RT

A Life in the Day of Mind-Body-Spirit

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

“Make the most of your regrets; Never smother your sorrow, but tend and cherish it ’til it comes to have a separate and integral interest. To regret deeply is to live afresh.” ~ Henry David Thoreau

“Age has no reality except in the physical world. The essence of a human being is resistant to the passage of time. Our inner lives are eternal, which is to say that our spirits remain as youthful and vigorous as when we were in full bloom. Think of love as a state of grace, not the means to anything, but the alpha and omega. An end in itself.” – Gabriel García Márquez  

“Look closely and you will see almost everyone carrying bags of cement on their shoulders. That’s why it takes courage to get out of bed in the morning and climb into the day.” ~ Edward Hirsch

“Happiness quite unshared can scarcely be called happiness; it has no taste.” – Charlotte Bronte

Again, not a gay-specific poem today but all we LGBT+ folks grow old, like anyone else, so I hope you will enjoy the post-poem.

The poem also appears on my general poetry blog today. Contrary to the way some straight folks and religious organizations appear to think of us, we are not a species apart, but as  much a part of a common humanity as anyone else. wry bardic grin

Sexual identity is not a choice, after all, nor is it a sin, but an essential part of who we are. Certain societies across the world are learning to accept us, especially among young, more open-minded people; others, in my opinion, have had there minds closed by various religious dogma and misleading stereotypes, forcing many LGBT folks to remain 'closet' all their lives.

Now, as each day passes and I grow old, I am often hard pressed to keep looking on the bright(er) side of life. I so miss being young, fit, able to make plans and feel confident that I will be well enough to not only carry them through, but also enjoy and learn from them. I miss having friends around for cosy chats and a laugh; many have moved away now and mobility problems make travelling difficult.

Ah, corny though it may sound, the human spirit really can keep us young at heart and soul, if only we will let it, Rarely easy. We can but try, even if, as life itself invariably proves, it’s a case of ‘win some, lose some…’

A LIFE IN THE DAY OF MIND-BODY-SPIRIT

There are times in any life
when the flesh is weak, but the spirit
remains as strong as ever,
whatever its reason or season, be it
a spring, summer,
autumn or winter of mind-body-spirit;
it perseveres, encouraged
by a heart-and-soul, wiser beyond its years
to sources of human tears

There are times in any life
when waking after a poor night’s sleep
leaves the body too weary
to even raise a smile at dawn’s rising
above early mist and cloud,
trying to force its way to half-open eyes
and ears, through drapes
at windows obscuring Everyman’s perception
of life, love, regeneration…

Finally, though, mind and body
takes its cue from that which gives it form
and a sense of stability
from birth to death, whatever in-betweens
may lie in wait, ready to pounce
and test us to limits sure to weigh heavy
on any host body, 
all the love attending it beseeching its survival
of Humanity’s heart-and soul

Alas, not every ear that hears,
can comply with every caller’s bidding;
no call, though, is ever in vain,
no matter if the human outcome be loss
and pain, in whatever form;
living, partly living, or consigned to memory’s
vault  of eternal spring,
there remain such ways for all humanity to choose,
every which way, then…loose?

Copyright R. N. Taber, 2022

[Note: Apologies for not adding many gay-specific poem tot he blog these days, but = as regular readers well know - I have been sexually inactive for some years, since starting hormone therapy for my prostate cancer; I can't even get a hard-on these days. Do explore the archives, though, and I am delighted that feedback suggests more LGBT readers are also dipping into my general poetry blog as well now. Poetry is, after all,  for everyone and far more all-inclusive than some societies across the world where others like us are growing up - as I did in the 1950's - in a climate of fear due to the propagation of certain religious dogma and misleading stereotypes.] RT