As a child, I was very confused. My ‘pitch’ or ‘perceptive’ deafness meant that how well I heard a person depended not only on the pitch of his or her voice but also acoustics. For example, I might hear the same person quite well in one room but hardly at all in another. This led to all kinds of problems. By the time I realised I was gay (in the late 1950s & early 60s when it was still a criminal offence), I was already heading for a nervous breakdown… which happened when I hit thirty.
No hearing aids were available until I was in my 40s. I now I have digital aids and often reflect how different (and better) my life might have been if I’d had them years ago. As for being gay, that isn’t a problem either. Sadly, both being deaf and gay can still be a problem for other people.
I have contributed a memoir ‘Growing Up Deaf & Gay In 1960s Britain’ for an anthology of short articles and poems by deaf-gay writers worldwide called Eyes of Desire 2 edited by Raymond Luczak. [Not on sale in the UK].
EYES OF DESIRE
I cannot hear
nor shall I wish my life away
but sign to you
how we mean more each day
than spoken words
can say
You cannot speak
nor do you wish your life away
but sign to me
how we live more each day
than spoken words
can say
In eyes of desire,
our love rising from the heart
like a fire
in winter, till death us do part
and for its spring we can
but wait
Copyright R. N. Taber 2008
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