This poem
takes me back to my (much) younger days and helps me forget I will be 70 later
this year..
As a
teenager and younger man, I used to prefer sex with older men. Now, I am the older man. Oh, dear, is that not so scary? It often strikes me that time
doesn’t just fly, but zooms past me as
I grow old(er). [Not old, not quite, not yet...well, maybe…]
Since I
was diagnosed with prostate cancer in February 2011 and began hormone therapy,
I confess I have lost all interest in sex. Mind you, I don’t miss it (blame the
hormones) and take great pleasure in my memories, often drawing on them for my
poems. Yet, who knows ...? Maybe if I met the right person even at this late stage
in my life…and there’s always Viagra. <>
This poem
is a villanelle.
O-U-T, NOTES ON THE PSYCHOLOGY OF PERCEPTION
Eyes of gentle
grey
telling lies
that are true
(seeing that I’m gay)
Lovers at
play,
dark
skies turning blue;
eyes of
gentle grey
Some
might say
I was vulnerable
to you
seeing that I’m gay
Truth on
its way
in a
loving word or two,
eyes of
gentle grey
No
pressure to stay.
Oh, but
how I wanted to,
seeing that I’m gay
Came out one
day,
perceiving myself in you;
eyes of
gentle grey
seeing that I’m gay …
Copyright R. N. Taber 2005; 2014
Copyright R. N. Taber 2005; 2014
[Note: An
earlier version of this poem appears under the title 'Found Out' in A Feeling for the Quickness of Time by R N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2005.]
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