Ditching the Glitch

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

Being a closet gay person is not only sexually frustrating, it can (and often does) affect our mental health. I, for one, suffered a BAD nervous breakdown 40 years ago that resulted in a (fortunately) botched suicide attempt.

Much as we may be in denial, anything that affects our mental wellbeing is likely to have detrimental effect on all aspects of our everyday life. Oh, closet gays appear to function as well as anyone, but we are fooling ourselves. Looking back, I see now that moving from place to place, job to job, unable to settle at anything or with anyone for long prior to my breakdown was directly linked to my being unable to confront my sexuality, embrace it and be openly gay for all manner of reasons. (Okay, excuses if you like.) It wasn’t being gay that was to blame for a long line of mistakes I made until my mid-30’s, but being stuck in that damn closet.

Once I flung open the closet door, everything changed, not always for the better (Well, that’s life) but at least I was now running the show, master of my destiny, not some puppet on a string being manipulated by a flawed mindset that I saw was flawed but could not bring myself to face those flaws head-on. Now, the homophobic and bigoted folks among us, in all walks of life, argue that the greater flaw is being gay. More fool me for being duped during gay-unfriendly formative years into believing that was true.

As it happens, I never met the man of my dreams a second time after my one-and-only died abroad after but a short time together. Even so, since coming out, I have enjoyed sexual encounters all the more for my being honest with myself about them. Besides, love comes in all shapes and forms and is no more dependent on sex than it is answerable to either culture or religion. Love, has a mind of its own, and no one but no one should ever feel ashamed of it, whatever others might say; if it feels right, it is right. Nor should anyone feel that their sexuality puts them at odds with whatever religion they choose to follow. I may not be a religious person, but religion is meant to be about peace and love, right?  I defy anyone to tell me that a God of Love could conceivably be homophobic.

DITCHING THE GLITCH

I make decisions every day,
some good, some bad,

although the latter might easily

have gone the other way

but for a glitch in the works insisting

on having its say,

the more fool, me, for listening

instead of to reservations expressed

by a closet alter ego

I nurture opinions every day,

for better, for worse

although the latter might easily

have gone the other way

but for a Glitch in the works insisting

on having its say,
the more fool, me, for listening

instead of to reservations expressed

by a closet alter ego

I make judgements every day,

some good, some bad,

although the latter might easily

have gone the other way,

but for a Glitch in the works insisting

on having its say,

the more fool, me, for listening

instead of to reservations expressed

by a closet alter ego

Gay lovers have come my way,

for better, for worse,

although the latter might easily

have gone the other way,

but for a glitch in the works insisting

on having its say,
the more fool, me, for listening

instead of to reservations expressed

by a closet alter ego

I met a man (seems like yesterday)

for better, for worse,

although the former might easily

have gone the other way

but for an alter ego on my side insisting

on having its say,

and the wiser, me, for listening

instead of to reservations expressed

by a glitch in the works

Copyright R N Taber 2019