There can be no greater gift parents can give their children than encourage them to develop a strong sense of personal identity, including sexual identity, and love them all the more for it. (There is no reason for personal/sexual identity to be at odds with any socio-cultural-religious concerns if only the latter were inclined to be less intransigent.)
No parent should expect to live the life they may have missed out on through their children. While this may be understandable in the sense that some parents want more for their children than they had when they were young, I have seen too many parents overstep the mark in their misplaced enthusiasm to recapture lost opportunities. Children and young people need guidance, of course, but there is a big difference between guidance and manipulation. We all need to develop a sense of discernment that encourages us to make our own choices. Yes, mistakes will be made, that's par for the course from birth to grave.
My father was often heard to comment about many things that ‘It’s all a game of bluff.’As I have grown old, I often finding myself saying much the same. As for who is bluffing whom, now that's the million dollar question to which many if not most of us can expect to spend a lifetime trying to decide.
Life is, indeed, the making of us, from the first steps we take to our last; full of opportunities taken, rejected or missed altogether, no one to praise or blame for how we turn out but the inner self that sees all, no place to hide.
Whatever our socio-cultural-religious background, we need to respect each other's differences; above all, we need to learn that those same differences do not make us different, only human. The latter, especially is a lesson that's never too early or too late for the learning.
L-I-F-E, LESSONS FOR THE LEARNING
A child is born
who needs must learn about life,
and signs pointing
to survival in a game that goes
by many names,
among them chance and bluff
where skill sidelined
by many names,
among them chance and bluff
where skill sidelined
A child is born
who needs must learn about trust,
and how to discern
where hypocrisy dares infiltrate
a humankind as likely to sail
under false colours as it is to play
honest broker
under false colours as it is to play
honest broker
A child is born
who needs must learn that giving
is a finer art
than receiving, compassion
no sign of weakness,
but demonstrating true strength
of character
but demonstrating true strength
of character
A child is born
who needs must learn how to lean
on others besides
lending a helping hand
from time to time,
no shame in asking, but sure proof
of maturity
lending a helping hand
from time to time,
no shame in asking, but sure proof
of maturity
A child is born
who needs must learn how lying
costs more than honesty,
more often than not leaving
more often than not leaving
a human heart
near bankrupt if forced to keep up
appearances
near bankrupt if forced to keep up
appearances
A child is born
who needs must learn how neither
our stars nor betters
are ultimately responsible for us,
only ourselves,
as we, in turn, needs must look out
for each other
A child is born
who needs must discover that love
comes in all shapes
and forms, and to recognise them
for mind-body-spirit
intent upon a heart to heart with us,
and listen
intent upon a heart to heart with us,
and listen
A child is born
who needs must learn one lesson
above all else,
that we are as we are, with minds
and hearts of our own,
no winner or loser in someone else's
life games
that we are as we are, with minds
and hearts of our own,
no winner or loser in someone else's
life games
Copyright R. N. Taber 2010; 2020
[Note: This poem first appeared on the blog some years ago under the title 'A Child is Born.']
[Note: This poem first appeared on the blog some years ago under the title 'A Child is Born.']
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