Ode to a Fly

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

Several readers have asked me to post some early poems that have disappeared from the blog, although many can still be found in the archives.

The poem below has been significantly revised since it first appeared in my second collection, First Person Plural in 2002.

Regular readers will know that I realised I am gay at about the age of 14 years, but did not start looking the world in the eye as a gay man until my thirties. Looking back, I regret those awful closet years, but it was hard to shrug off the homophobic attitudes prevalent in UK society while I was growing up; society may well have changed, even progressed, but many LGBT folks are still given a hard time by some societies and communities worldwide, including here.

ODE TO A FLY

One beautiful day,
I chanced where he lay
and my heart filled
with music, but my heart
refused to dance
for fear the vision go away
and leave me feeling as hollow
as every other day

Three shirt buttons
were undone, a hairy chest
tickling my spine,
one hand stroking a mane
of hair, spread
like sand on the grass,
the other trying to catch a fly
as it happened to pass

Zap! Fly is caught,
but what’s this? Now set free
by a caring hand
that’s blowing me a kiss,
where I hide
behind a tree like a spy,
heart beating faster for envying
the passage of a fly

I emerged, strolled past
with a leisurely air, not daring
to glance your way
till you called out, laughingly
and asked my heart
to dance, and a lark’s lay
played us into our very first waltz
one beautiful day

Unlike the fly, caught and freed
I stayed...

Copyright R. N. Taber 2002; rev. 2021