I have
met several members of the armed forces who are gay, but even though it is
legal now in some countries, (including the UK and US) would not dream of revealing
the fact to their comrades-in-arms. As one guy told me, ‘I’m a damn good
soldier, but if anyone knew I was gay it would count for f**k all. I might as
well shoot myself.’ He was killed in action about a year later. Everyone spoke
very highly of him and rightly so. I could not help wondering what his
bereaved, closet boyfriend (another soldier) made of it all. I wrote the poem
for both of them.
One day,
hopefully, human beings will stop waging war on themselves; in more ways than
one.
This poem
is for 'Mick' whose partner was killed on active service. Mick says,
'I so regret we were out to no one, but we had no choice. No one should have to
grieve alone.'
Grief is
a lonely business for anyone, but I dare say we all know what he meant.
PRISONER
OF (ANOTHER) WAR or NO ONE KNOWS BUT ME
You had
told no one you are gay
by the
time you went to war,
leaving
me alone to try and pray
Whether
at work, rest or play,
I’d love
and miss you more;
you had
told no one you are gay
You said
we’d come true one day
when
you’re ready, not before,
leaving
me alone to try and pray
There is
so much I longed to say,
our
secret, a weeping sore;
you had
told no one you are gay
My worst
fears came true one day,
and at my
whole being tore,
leaving
me alone to try and pray
It still
hurts when I hear people say
we were
good friends (no more);
you had
told no one you are gay,
leaving
me alone to try and pray
[From: On the Battlefields of Love by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2010.]
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