A Timely Rescue

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

One New Year’s Eve many years ago, a friend and fellow reveller asked me if I am gay. When I answered, yes, he went on to ask why I had never mentioned it, was I ashamed…?

The truth is that, at the time, I was ashamed, having been raised to believe gay relationships were perverted.  I had discussed being gay with very few people in those dark days.

As a direct result of that long-ago conversation, I resolved to come out to the world, the only New Year resolution I have ever kept, and never regretted.

It remains one of the greater tragedies of the modern world that, yes, even in the 21^st century, many gay people worldwide live in so gay-unfriendly an environment that they remain afraid to be openly gay. We can but hope for better times and less socio-cultural-religious bigotry dating back centuries. Meanwhile, no one should ever be ashamed of their sexuality, while  those that would have us be so would do well to take a long look at their own shortcomings and get real.

This poem is a villanelle.

 A TIMELY RESCUE

Before I acknowledged my sexuality

and came out to everyone,

I was scared, frustrated and lonely

Scared of losing my friends and family,

I could but conceal my confusion

before I acknowledged my sexuality

Made to think I belonged to a fraternity

of some perverted  persuasion,

I was scared, frustrated and lonely

Dreaded succumbing to plain honesty,

heavy my footsteps, every one,

before I acknowledged my sexuality

Slow to grasp at straws in an angry sea

of heterosexual convention,

I was scared, frustrated and lonely

Rescued, came to understand eventually

that I am but human;

before I acknowledged my sexuality,

I was scared, frustrated and lonely

Copyright R, N. Taber 2009; 2014

Perfect Strangers

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

Sometimes we sense a mutual attraction but can’t be sure, past mistakes gathering like vultures to pounce on the remains of yet another disappointment or worse.

Gay or straight, you know the feeling…that this just might be the One, but self-confidence is shaky after taking so many knocks…  

Well, what’s the worst that can happen? He (or she) is not interested. It's hardly the end of the world...

Whatever, every stranger is a potential friend if not more, so...worth finding out, surely, and letting time and tide take its course? 

Someone may not turn out to be the love of our lives, but the love of a good friend can never be overrated. 

PERFECT STRANGERS 

Shirt front hung wide open, red hairs

on his chest;

tongues of fire, leaping out at me,

licking at my nipples,

rekindling desire, teasing this cold heart

with dreams once cherished,

long forsaken;

liquid eyes spilling over, soaking my tee

like spring rain,

letting a body breathe again after years

of choking on ashes,

living on flashes of memory

I long to take this stranger in my arms,

be close to someone again,

yet dare not even ask his name,

can but look, my life

an open book if he but cares to flick a page

or two, sewn with paper thin threads

of flesh and bone, sure to snap

should he come any closer, neither of us

quite ready to give word or sign

that we’re peeping through the keyhole

of a door to a heaven

that has rarely welcomed us before

Lips parting, tongues shyly peeping,

hearts fairly leaping...

Copyright R. N. Taber 2005; 2011

[Note: revised from an earlier version that appears in 1st eds. of A Feeling for the Quickness of Time by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2004.]

Messaging Christmas Day

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

[Update, Nov. 2018: A mixed (general and gay-interest) selection of my best poems will be published by Austin Macauley under the title 'Addressing the Art of Being Human' within the next few months; previous titles were self-published and sold well, but were only available in the UK whereas A M have offices in London and New York so it will be widely available.] RNT

Now, whether you celebrate religious festivals like Christmas or not, alone or with family and friends…may the most important wishes on your wish list will come true.

Yes, this poem is another villanelle.  As regular readers will know, I love villanelles and have written nearly 200. Readers have asked if they are available in a collection but the answer is, no. I have approached a few poetry publishers but none were interested, partly because villanelles are considered old fashioned in poetry circles these days and partly because some are on a gay theme. 

I suspect you would be surprised how many poetry publishers and magazine editors won’t accept gay material ... yes, even in the 21st century.  Some 600+ of my poems have appeared in various poetry publications world-wide since 1993 (excluding any that have only appeared in my collections) yet barely 2% of those have been on a gay theme. 

Let’s hope next year will not only be the year the less enlightened among the heterosexual majority grow up and get real about gay boys and girls, men and women…whatever their socio-cultural-religious background...but also a few poetry publishers/editors too.

MESSAGING CHRISTMAS DAY

What else is there left to say
but to wish peace and love to all,
in messaging Christmas Day?

May lonely people find a way
out of free falling in a Black Hole;
what else is there left to say?

Listen to the homeless as they
may well be making Hope's last call
in messaging Christmas Day

May the world, its fears allay
that a War on Terror not see it fall;
what else is there left to say?

Let peace-and-love have its say,
wake the world with its rallying call
in messaging Christmas Day

May young and old ever say 'nay'
to denying Human Rights a lead role;
what else is there left to say,
in messaging Christmas Day?

Copyright R. N. Taber 2009; Rev. 2018

Learning Curve

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

I have lived alone for many years, but it was not always that way, and I will always feel the same warm glow I like to think made me a better person for travelling love’s learning curve. Love, of course, comes in all shapes and forms - people, pets, nature, to name but three - all deserving better than to be taken for granted.

Sexuality is a learning curve for all of us, of course. Gay, straight, bisexual or transgender, we all need to show respect for each other's sexual orientation, not least by rejecting what are invariably misguided and (only too often) offensive stereotypes. 

LEARNING CURVE 

I could not believe I am gay;

it went against everything told and taught,

yet catching sight of you every day

urged me to account for tears on my pillow

every night

I tried to refuse you entry

to my dreams with some safer distraction

than an emerging sexuality,

but you would always invade, relish centre

of attraction

One day you suggested a meal

at your house, implying others joining us,

but not long after my arrival

I understood no one else would be coming,

and grew nervous

I wanted to leave, needed to stay,

slowly relaxed, began to unwind, feel free

to let my body have its way

with the heart’s desires, for all its growing

intensity

When you kissed me, I nearly died;

you instantly withdrew, a tableau of dismay,

till my kinder senses rallied

and I finally embraced the sure knowledge

I am gay

Soon after, I told family and friends

we are partners, and you're my dream lover;
some accept us, others can't,
but that's life, and we will see ours through 

together

I could not believe I am gay;

it went against everything told and taught,

yet loving you more each day

is a learning curve, sure to dry any tears 
we share at night

Copyright R. N. Taber 2014