http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber
Coming out to family, friends and the world in general as a gay person is never easy even in a gay-friendly environment where the perception others have of us may well be in for some re-assembling, to say the least. In an environment hostile to the gay ethic, the need to come out can be a nightmare, just as it was for me many years ago.
There are no quick fixes, especially in countries where gay relationships remain a criminal offence, even punishable by death.
Coming out as openly gay, as I have said many times, is a very personal decision. Any failure to do so should not be held against someone. At the same time, there is a lot to be said for the art of gentle persuasion. Nor should compromise be seen as a weakness; it is not always a bad thing. For example, coming out to a few people who really care about us can more than compensate for the contempt in which an ignorant majority - unable or unwilling to separate stereotypical fiction from fact – (still) persist in holding us.
Some countries (like some people) like to boast a policy of Equal Opportunities, but let’s not be completely fooled; political correctness (so-called) is often but a smokescreen for a lesser morality. Not always, of course, but we need to remain alert to the possibility. Homophobia is alive and kicking even in the (so-called) ‘liberal’ West.
What’s, that you say? Me, a cynic…? Well, yes, in many respects, but one can, of course, only speak from personal experience. Moreover, while I am not Islamophobic as such, the rise and spread of Islam across the western world does gay people no favours since the majority of Muslims are inclined to be homophobic; less traditional Muslims, though, especially among younger people, are more open-minded. One reason I subscribe to no religion is that all religions tend to stereotype or 'label' thos of us who, for whatever reason, refuse to to enter into their more dogmatic points of view.
This poem is a villanelle.
BOXED-IN BY STEREOTYPES COMPOUNDED BY DOGMA
Desperate to go free,
captive for years,
this ‘other’ self in me
An aspiring maturity
drying my tears,
desperate to be free
Need to let them see
(who fan my fears)
this ‘other’ self in me
Homing in on bigotry
(as its hurt clears)
desperate to be free
No separate identity
(as named by peers)
this ‘other’ self in me
Person and sexuality
(a natural harmony);
desperate to be free,
this ‘other’ self in me
Copyright R. N. Taber 2015
Coming out to family, friends and the world in general as a gay person is never easy even in a gay-friendly environment where the perception others have of us may well be in for some re-assembling, to say the least. In an environment hostile to the gay ethic, the need to come out can be a nightmare, just as it was for me many years ago.
There are no quick fixes, especially in countries where gay relationships remain a criminal offence, even punishable by death.
Coming out as openly gay, as I have said many times, is a very personal decision. Any failure to do so should not be held against someone. At the same time, there is a lot to be said for the art of gentle persuasion. Nor should compromise be seen as a weakness; it is not always a bad thing. For example, coming out to a few people who really care about us can more than compensate for the contempt in which an ignorant majority - unable or unwilling to separate stereotypical fiction from fact – (still) persist in holding us.
Some countries (like some people) like to boast a policy of Equal Opportunities, but let’s not be completely fooled; political correctness (so-called) is often but a smokescreen for a lesser morality. Not always, of course, but we need to remain alert to the possibility. Homophobia is alive and kicking even in the (so-called) ‘liberal’ West.
What’s, that you say? Me, a cynic…? Well, yes, in many respects, but one can, of course, only speak from personal experience. Moreover, while I am not Islamophobic as such, the rise and spread of Islam across the western world does gay people no favours since the majority of Muslims are inclined to be homophobic; less traditional Muslims, though, especially among younger people, are more open-minded. One reason I subscribe to no religion is that all religions tend to stereotype or 'label' thos of us who, for whatever reason, refuse to to enter into their more dogmatic points of view.
This poem is a villanelle.
BOXED-IN BY STEREOTYPES COMPOUNDED BY DOGMA
Desperate to go free,
captive for years,
this ‘other’ self in me
An aspiring maturity
drying my tears,
desperate to be free
Need to let them see
(who fan my fears)
this ‘other’ self in me
Homing in on bigotry
(as its hurt clears)
desperate to be free
No separate identity
(as named by peers)
this ‘other’ self in me
Person and sexuality
(a natural harmony);
desperate to be free,
this ‘other’ self in me
Copyright R. N. Taber 2015
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