http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber
Many years ago, I confided in someone that I was gay but was scared of the consequences if I came out to family and friends. He simply commented, “Yes, well, just remember that body, mind and spirit only ever need to justify themselves to each other, no one else.’ I suspect that’s as good a benchmark for contentment if not happiness as I will find anywhere.
At the time, I thought it was a rather selfish approach to life. Looking back, however, (I will be 70 on the winter solstice) I can see only too clearly that it’s only during the relatively few times in my life when I have been really happy that mind, body and spirit have achieved the greater harmony. While I am not unhappy now, I live alone and don’t have a partner, without whom any life-harmony is only ever likely to be a halfhearted affair. Life, though, is all about making the best rather then the worst of things and I think I do a pretty good job of that.
Now, anyone can (and will) judge us as and when they like, but no one but the self knows how far (or not) it achieves harmony between body, mind and spirit. We are the best judges of that, no one else, just as where there is discord…we need to at least try and do something about it. For example, while I am not a religious person, the suggestion that ‘Blessed are the peace makers’ has a lot going for it.
Above all, life is about developing and building on a native, all-embracing capacity for love, in all its shapes and forms - as far as we are able and others will let us) - and that goes for each and every one of us, whatever our sex, sexuality, race, religion and, yes, age too.
SHAPING UP FOR LIFE
Scared of who I am,
trapped in conventions that birthed me,
locked in the mind of a child
competing with siblings and peers for love
I would keep, oh, so close…
(so much a part of me, no desire to lose)
yet, compelled to choose
Scared of who I am,
fretting over wet dreams and fantasies
born of a growing sexuality
suggesting (confirming) much I’d been told
regarding human relationships
since knee high…a lie…created to taunt me
about me sexual identity
Scared of who I was
until we met in a bar one wintry night,
and as we talked, grew closer,
till in the thick of everyday conversation
I felt the throbbing pulse
of mutual attraction coursing my body,
mind-talk consuming me
Scared of who I was,
until he touched my hand reassuringly
as if to calm my frantic spirit
with piano fingers taking me through
a haunting symphony,
flooding emptiness left by unspoken fears,
and drying unshed tears
Unashamed of being gay,
those other parts comprising my whole,
ganging up on me for centuries,
hating me, despising me, rejecting me,
leaving me confused, scared…
finally accepting of this only-human need
to share his bed
Copyright R. N. Taber 2015
Many years ago, I confided in someone that I was gay but was scared of the consequences if I came out to family and friends. He simply commented, “Yes, well, just remember that body, mind and spirit only ever need to justify themselves to each other, no one else.’ I suspect that’s as good a benchmark for contentment if not happiness as I will find anywhere.
At the time, I thought it was a rather selfish approach to life. Looking back, however, (I will be 70 on the winter solstice) I can see only too clearly that it’s only during the relatively few times in my life when I have been really happy that mind, body and spirit have achieved the greater harmony. While I am not unhappy now, I live alone and don’t have a partner, without whom any life-harmony is only ever likely to be a halfhearted affair. Life, though, is all about making the best rather then the worst of things and I think I do a pretty good job of that.
Now, anyone can (and will) judge us as and when they like, but no one but the self knows how far (or not) it achieves harmony between body, mind and spirit. We are the best judges of that, no one else, just as where there is discord…we need to at least try and do something about it. For example, while I am not a religious person, the suggestion that ‘Blessed are the peace makers’ has a lot going for it.
Above all, life is about developing and building on a native, all-embracing capacity for love, in all its shapes and forms - as far as we are able and others will let us) - and that goes for each and every one of us, whatever our sex, sexuality, race, religion and, yes, age too.
SHAPING UP FOR LIFE
Scared of who I am,
trapped in conventions that birthed me,
locked in the mind of a child
competing with siblings and peers for love
I would keep, oh, so close…
(so much a part of me, no desire to lose)
yet, compelled to choose
Scared of who I am,
fretting over wet dreams and fantasies
born of a growing sexuality
suggesting (confirming) much I’d been told
regarding human relationships
since knee high…a lie…created to taunt me
about me sexual identity
Scared of who I was
until we met in a bar one wintry night,
and as we talked, grew closer,
till in the thick of everyday conversation
I felt the throbbing pulse
of mutual attraction coursing my body,
mind-talk consuming me
Scared of who I was,
until he touched my hand reassuringly
as if to calm my frantic spirit
with piano fingers taking me through
a haunting symphony,
flooding emptiness left by unspoken fears,
and drying unshed tears
Unashamed of being gay,
those other parts comprising my whole,
ganging up on me for centuries,
hating me, despising me, rejecting me,
leaving me confused, scared…
finally accepting of this only-human need
to share his bed
Copyright R. N. Taber 2015
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