http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber
Today's poem first appeared on the blog a few years ago under a title I have only recently revised. (Regular readers will know that I struggle with titles and often revise them at a later date, hopefully for the better; it is, after all, a reader's lead into the poem and I have little time for poets who settle for 'Untitled' unless it directly relates to whatever sentiments the poem expresses.)
Among other themes the poem tries to convey is how positive thinking can overcome even our gravest reservations, especially, perhaps, when it concerns self-awareness. Coming out to ourselves can be as hard, as if not harder, than looking the world in the eye as an openly gay person. Besides, rarely can there have been a time in many of our lives when positive thinking was tougher or more essential as in seeing us through the Covid-19 coronavirus pandemic right now.
Readers sometimes ask me how I cope with being gay and growing old on my own without a partner. (What has being gay got to do with growing old?)
Friendly fingers ruffling my hair,
Apollo’s belated kisses
I’d thought your feelings for me
Sea horses prancing all around,
Friendly fingers ruffling my hair,
Two gay men, couplet for heroic verses,
Copyright R. N. Taber 2001; 2020
Today's poem first appeared on the blog a few years ago under a title I have only recently revised. (Regular readers will know that I struggle with titles and often revise them at a later date, hopefully for the better; it is, after all, a reader's lead into the poem and I have little time for poets who settle for 'Untitled' unless it directly relates to whatever sentiments the poem expresses.)
Among other themes the poem tries to convey is how positive thinking can overcome even our gravest reservations, especially, perhaps, when it concerns self-awareness. Coming out to ourselves can be as hard, as if not harder, than looking the world in the eye as an openly gay person. Besides, rarely can there have been a time in many of our lives when positive thinking was tougher or more essential as in seeing us through the Covid-19 coronavirus pandemic right now.
Well, I have some good friends so I don’t feel so alone, and my Muse may be fickle but she can be inspiring when she likes. Besides, I live near Hampstead Heath so there’s always plenty of trees and bird life to sustain me whenever I feel the need, whether or not any human company on hand.
Some years ago, I met a couple of macho-looking guys whom I had been watching surfing earlier in the day. Later, we got chatting back at the hotel; it turned out they were gay and had been partners for several years. Another guest joined us and mentioned that he would soon be retiring from a job that had been his whole life and how he was dreading it. How, he wanted to know, does a person cope with all that time on their hands? One of my surfer friends commented, "You fill your life with all the things you love, I guess. Take us, we live for each other, surfing, and our jobs,' he told us,"so retirement won't be a problem as we'll still have each other and surfing. If a time comes we can't surf, we'll still have each other so no problem." The other guest was sceptical while I was filled with even more admiration (and a hint of jealousy) than I had been for their surfing skills.
Now, it may well be too late for me to find love again, but maybe not. I will be 75 on the next winter solstice, but earlier this year, before the Covid-19 pandemic struck, I met a couple about my own age in a gay bar celebrating their anniversary. When I asked just how long they had been together, both grinned from ear to ear and told me how they had met in that same bar just two weeks to the day. They were so happy, their years falling away even as we chatted. I might have been in the company of lovers in the first flush of youth. My surfer friends came to mind ...
As with many of my poems written in the first person, the poet-storyteller is Everyman with whom the reader may or may not choose to identify to the extent I do as I let imagined experiences take me wherever …
Whatever, never, but never, say "never"..
G-A-Y, CHARGING UP FOR CHANGE
Friendly fingers ruffling my hair,
Apollo’s belated kisses
bringing blushes to my cheeks
as I slumped by the sea, let your tears
as I slumped by the sea, let your tears
drip rainbows on my heart
if low, grey clouds all but refusing
to be titillated
I’d thought your feelings for me
were as mine for you,
but your, stunned expression
when I took a leaf out of Apollo’s book
had me pinioned to a crab’s back,
scuttling over sand pebbles mocking
all human despair
Sea horses prancing all around,
daring me choose one,
head for lost horizons shrouded
in a shadowy mist harbouring pirate ships
and slavers crewed by ghosts
last seen flailing among sharks’ fins
alerted by bad blood
Friendly fingers ruffling my hair,
your belated kisses
bringing blushes to my cheeks
after you caught up with me, let your tears
drip rainbows on my heart,
low, grey clouds capitulating to Apollo’s
surprise breakthrough
Two gay men, couplet for heroic verses,
charging up for change on white horses
Copyright R. N. Taber 2001; 2020
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