A Farewell

 

Roger Noel Taber
21 December 1945 - 2 March 2023

Foreword from Graham Collett (a close friend)

I’m very sorry to let you all know that, tragically, Roger passed away earlier this year after battling a long period of acute illness. Despite the excellent care he received at the Whittington, and latterly, Barnet Hospital ICU’s, his lifeforce finally took flight into that great beyond…

Many of Roger’s close friends kindly visited him over those preceding weeks in intensive care. Despite his heavy sedation, we took turns to read poetry and short stories at his bedside, and hold his hand. I believe we all nurtured hope in his recovery.

I feel privileged to have shared a close friendship with Roger over 22 years. Through triumph and disaster he’s been there for me. Across this odyssey of time-space we call ‘life’ he’s been a guiding light. I’m still reconciling myself to a new, bleaker reality and feeling rather adrift. Though it’s a voyage illuminated by the glimmer of treasured memories. Such is bereavement for many of us I imagine…

To say that we only recognise the true value of something after it’s lost… well, it seems so trite; a truism even…? But it’s also an inexorable aspect to existence which tests us all in the end. All the more reason to ‘rise above’ as Roger encouraged us; carpe diem.

As an advocate for pantheist principles and nature, I hope readers will draw comfort from the notion of Roger returning to the bosom of Earth Mother... Death is but a part of that universal cycle of creation, dissolution and then, rebirth. I also hope that his beautiful poetry will continue to inspire and resonate with you all.

I aim to post Roger’s unpublished poetry on the blogs occasionally - mainly to maintain their presence online. Please bear with me on this as I have a high pressure job and little free time! Further along, I also hope to publish (either in print or eBook) Addressing the Art of Being Human, a collection spanning 2020.

I will leave you with a poem I chanced upon from Roger’s extensive archive.

Best wishes to all for 2024.
Peace, Graham x

 

FAREWELL

Think not that I am gone,
but please think this of me;
that once was a man
who so wanted to be good,
but sadly was not always
one who never, ever, meant
to be bad if sometimes
blindness took him this way;
who rose above bigotry
to embrace a born sexuality
in poetry driven, inspired
by sheer spirituality, nurtured
not by word or world,
only Earth Mother to whom
I was born, and now return
much like last autumn’s kiss,
promising this to all whom
I have loved, will surely miss,
and bequeath to birdsong

Oh, but watch and listen
for spring, that any winters
of our parting may seem
less harsh nor so long if only
for robins celebrating us,
and though this sorry world
weep as it surely will
for an elusive love and peace,
I feel privileged to rest
where doves can but create
metaphor

There, where you are...

Copyright R. N. Taber 2011

A Walk in the Park

 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

“We are not victims of aging, sickness and death. These are part of scenery, not the seer, who is immune to any form of change. This seer is the spirit, the expression of eternal being.” - Deepak Chopra

“Painting is poetry that is seen rather than felt, and poetry is painting that is felt rather than seen.” – Leonardo da Vinci

“Poetry is a deal of joy and pain and wonder, with a dash of the dictionary.” - Khalil Gibran

“We do not see nature with our eyes, but with our understandings and our hearts.” William Hazlitt

“Forever is composed of Nows.” – Emily Dickinson

Even as a child, I loved being at the heart of nature, not only for its surrounding, but also for the responses to it by mind-body-spirit, communicating sounds and poetry it would be years before I would even begin to define it as a sense of spirituality; years, too, before I felt able to go public with it through poetry. 

As my dear mother used to say, learning curves are not confined to the classroom...

A WALK IN THE PARK

Taking a long walk
in the park, sky many shades
in many moods,
spots of rain urging me pause
by a favourite tree
playing host to feathered friends
bidding me see-hear-listen,
let the indomitable Spirit of Nature
address past-present-future

Becoming more aware
of a Here-and-Now beyond 
rain and cloudy skies,
a part of me opening up, not only
to what it could see
but to feelings, asking questions
of heart-and-soul
it had not thought of asking,
confused by worldly turns of thought,
all but become a habit

Life is for all, no exceptions,
though we are sometimes made 
to feel we don’t deserve
a voice, simply for nurturing
visions of self-identity 
considered ill-suited to this society,
or that community,
for fear of any bullying powers that be;
none so blind as will not see 

Having listened to all the tree
had to say by way of putting lyrics
to the music in my head,
heart-and-soul's reawakened,
already reworking
its approach to everyday living,
less of simply tagging along 
for the ride, up for restating its position;
such is...the art of being human

Ah, but time to go home, hopefully share
all I have yet to make sense of here...

Copyright R. N. Taber (2023)

[Note: This post-poem also appears on my general poetry blog today.] RT

Self-Belief OR Destination, Otherworld

 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

“The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.” -  Mark Twain

“The greatest thing in the world is to know how to belong to oneself.” - ― Michel de Montaigne

“Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are.”- Marilyn Monroe

“One of the greatest regrets in life is being what others would want you to be, rather than being yourself.” - Shannon L. Alder

“Until you value yourself, you won't value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it.” - M. Scott Peck 

“Be faithful to that which exists within yourself.” - Andre Gide

“People may flatter themselves just as much by thinking that their faults are always present to other people's minds, as if they believe that the world is always contemplating their individual charms and virtues.” - Elizabeth Gaskell

Foe a variety of reasons, many of us suffer with low self-esteem, sometimes all our lives. I have to admit to being one of the, although I have made real progress over the years in rising above such feelings. Born and raised during the bigoted 1950’s, I was made to feel an inferior person from the time I realised I am gay, at the age of 14. Regular readers will know that I spent years in a lonely closet, rarely confiding in anyone that I was gay until ‘coming out’ to the world in my late 30’s.

Noe was my lack of self-esteem due solely to a rampant homophobia. I am not a very practical person, but found myself in a Technical High School which specialised in practical subjects like woodwork, metalwork, and technical drawing, at all of which I was next to useless and would make the kind of errors that inevitably caught a teacher’s eye; they would, in turn, bring it to the attention of the whole class. Oh, I would laugh it off, but inwardly feel positively sick.

As regular readers will also know, I had a poo relationship with my father, constantly having a go at me for “having my head in a book’ and making me feel a lesser person for that, especially as compared with my older brother who was practical, sporty and all the things my father expected of a son. Rightly or wrongly, I felt psychologically bullied and hadn’t yet learned to effectively stand up for myself without provoking an almighty row.

We are who we are and should not feel a need to justify how we identify ourselves to anyone. Being made - intentionally or otherwise - to feel less of a person by anyone, especially during our formative years or in the workplace, wherever … it can take years, if ever, to shake off a sense of inferiority.

I feel a greater sense of freedom these days, having learned mu lessons the hard way but cannot help wishing I had especially come across the Elizabeth Gaskell quote (above) during my younger years as a bookworm. 

SELF-BELIEF or DESTINATION, OTHERWORLD

Being told this, told that,
and failing to achieve a good result,
gave mind-body-spirit
a sense of falling apart, being unequal
to perspectives on me
I couldn’t work through or begin to share
however hard I’d try,
until I started listening to that voice within
reminding me I'm my own person

All but persuaded to find
my own way in a world confusing me
every step I’d take,
urging I do this or maybe rather do that
to get anywhere,
be the Someone those expecting far more
of me may rest assured
that, if only I’d listened to all they had to say,
I’d have chosen to go a ‘better’ way 

Time and again I’d feel lost,
unsuited and confused by worldly ways
others fell into with ease,
until I stumbled on home truths no-one
had led me to believe,
till mind-body-spirit made time and space
to replace the 'me'
I'd see through other eyes with my very own,
no less from without as from within

I saw a world judging me neither sinner nor fool,
made my peace with heart-and-soul 

Copyright R. N. Taber, 2023

[Note: This post-poem also appears on my general poetry blog today.] RT

H, Everyone, from London UK

Hi, Everyone, from London UK,

Sorry, no poem today as I am trying to load as many of my poems to a memory stick as I can, just in case the blog ever disappears.

In the past, UK poetry publishers have shown no interest in me because I make it clear that any published collection must include a gay section. My self-published collections proved popular, but the last one appeared in 2021' since then, I have been diagnosed with prostate cancer, had a bad fall that has left me with  mobility problems and have been having to cope while living on my own. I cope OK(ish), so no worries, but nothing gets easier as we grow older and I'm in my late 70's now.

As I have said on the blog before, in latter years, writing poetry has been as much by way of creative therapy than for pleasure; it helps me  manage thought processes and memory problems as a direct result of years of hormone therapy for my prostate cancer. So, I feel a need to write what I can, while I can and keep my poems in a safe place in case any publishers eventually show any real interest once I have passed away.

No one has ever appreciated just how much my poetry means to me and, yet again, a BIG thank you to you all, dear readers, for encouraging me by viewing my poems and sending emails from time to time.

Reader H H asks how many views this blog has had in total since I started writing it up about ten years ago. Currently, blogger statistics show 213,149 views; for a poetry blog, this is VERY encouraging, so you can understand why continuing it is so important to an oldie like me, from both a psychological and health point of view. The gay poetry blog statistics show a total of 160, 987 views, again, very encouraging.

Feedback suggests that more LGBT viewers dip into both blogs these days and I like to think it is because they are coming round to the point of view that poetry is for everyone, has something to say to everyone, intent on voicing a perspective on which the reader is invited to consider his or her own take. Whatever, food for thought is important; sadly, the pace of life these days means fewer people can make time enough for even that. 

When I stared blogging, I had been warned that a gay poetry blog would be unlikely to attract many readers and I was unable to find anything similar online, so...G-AY in the Subject Field took to pc screens worldwide. My having been sexually inactive for some years now, it may have  lost its initial momentum, but feedback suggests LGBT readers appreciate the encouragement my poems try to offer. (I spent too many years in a lonely closet to want the same for anyone who is led to believe there is something shameful, even sinful about sexual/ gender identity; neither is a choice, but who we are. 

It is a tragedy of our times that some family members, friends and religious communities continue to be guided by many misleading stereotypes propagated by the less enlightened. 

Nor is the sense of spirituality I have always felt any the less for my being gay. Encouragingly, most young people are more prepared to take others as they find them, without prejudging them for what they may have heard on this or that grapevine. (I suspect political correctness means well, but has proven far less effective than intended;. You cannot effectively legislate for a person's perspectives on life and people; it simply creates closets for any that need to be aired, challenged and modified. 

As for poetry, whether people like a poem or not is less important than they should consider how and why they feel about what it it has to say to the voice in which the poem speaks. (As regular readers well know, I have always championed the right to agree to differ...] RT 😉 

We are barely into 2023, yet violent criminal acts on the streets and behind closed doors are hitting the headlines already .Let us hope that Peace, Love and Understanding will eventually prevail worldwide, the darker side of human nature notwithstanding....!

Oh, and on the subject if headlines, I have been asked what I think of Prince Harry's revelations in his book, Spare. Well, I have no interest in reading it, not least because it is unlikely that other members of the Royal Family will respond and there are always two sides to every story. So, to coin a popular phrase, "No comment." 😉

I am working on a new poem, but slowly as I am not too well and old age is catching up with me. No point in crying over spilt milk, though so, yes, I continue to do my best to keep looking on the bright(er) side of life... even though a fog sometimes.😉

Take care, folks, keep safe and stay positive,

Hopefully, back soon with a new poem,

Hugs,

Roger

[Note: This post also appears in my general poetry blog today.] RT

Yes!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

“It is time for parents to teach young people early on that in diversity there is beauty and there is strength.” - Maya Angelou

 “When we're talking about diversity, it's not a box to check. It is a reality that should be deeply felt and held and valued by all of us.” - Ava DuVernay

“It is not our differences that divide us. It is our inability to recognize, accept, and celebrate those differences.” - Audre Lorde

“Same-sex marriage has not created problems for religious institutions; religious institutions have created problems for same-sex marriage.” ― DaShanne Stokes

“My only regret about being gay is that I repressed it for so long. I surrendered my youth to the people I feared when I could have been out there loving someone. Don't make that mistake yourself. Life's too damn short.” - Armistead Maupin

Now,  apologies for making you wait for my first gay-specific post-poem of 2023.
As regular readers will know, I am in my late 70’s now and battling health issues on several fronts. As regular readers will also know, I have found it find it much harder to write gay-interest poems since being diagnosed with prostate cancer in 2012 and increasingly having to live in a Memory Box on Memory Lane.  😉

Mind you, a Memory Box beats a closet any day...😁

Stay safe, folks, stay positive, and never be afraid of saying "YES!" to being happy.

YES!

My gay lover asked me,
“How can we stay happy in a closet
like this...?”
My answer, a long, passionate kiss,
but my gay lover persisted,
“A kiss is no answer but to a dream,
so, let’s get real?
We need to tell family, friends, trust
they will see we are still
the same people, nor has being gay
been a choice

The only choice, each other,
as free to fall in love as anyone else,
anywhere in the world,
even where insensitivity, ignorance
about sexual identity
would mock us, even see us in jail
or worse...
The Here-and-Now, challenges us all
to live, laugh, cry,
 try to be happy, each in our own way,
straight or gay

We love family and friends
who love us too, so why unable to see 
how our differences
are in name only, the name of the game
being Fear…
Fear of the unknown, fear of being alone,
cast out by a religion
expecting us to stay true to its dogma
or go to a hell
that any of us knows, yes, only too well,
and made to dwell

Let’s come out to the world, You-Me-Us,
for better or worse, like everyone else?

YES!

Copyright R. N. Taber, 2023

Spelling it Out

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

“We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.” Albert Einstein 

“The world helps you to keep evolving and hope it's for better. You have to rise above all the tragedies in life. You have to grow, and if you stop growing, you are old.” - Hrithik Roshan“

Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.”- Helen Keller 

“Winter is a season of recovery and preparation.” - Paul Theroux  

“We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.” ― Maya Angelou

Now, after all the fun and fireworks, the early day of any new year can become daunting as we place our hopes in what lies ahead, no idea whether or not we will see them fulfilled, fail in the attempt or be outwitted by forces beyond our control…? A scary prospect.  The more we contemplate a whole new year ahead, so excitement and enthusiasm may well give way to a mind-body-spirit likely to leave us  less able to think straight than the worst hangover ever.  

So…? We may well need help. We may well need a sounding board. We may well need a good friend (who knows us well) to confide in and help our more positive thoughts to find a voice, give us feedback, help us through the hangover into whatever it takes to help us confront, make sense of and (eventually) rise above whatever is gnawing away at us…

 SPELLING IT OUT

Old year done and dusted,
another to get through, for better
or worse, as we can but try 
to keep looking on the bright(er) side
of life, whatever challenges
invading our personal space demand
we meet them head-on, 
resolve to tackle each as best we can,
bring out the best of being human

We can wish our cares away
to no avail, side-step, put on hold
our worst fears in vain,
inevitably have them catch us out
when we are least prepared
for not having thought them through,
shared our feelings with a friend,
sought more than a shoulder to cry on,
called on the best of being human

Every worry, every sadness
needs to find a voice, similarly
every voice needs someone
to listen to what it has to say, hear
what lies beyond the words,
help us to understand our world,
(even make it a kinder place?)
bring such inspiration to personal space
as lets heart-and-soul set the pace

Another year of spelling out You-Me-Us;
keywords: patience, peace, happiness

Copyright R. N. Taber 2023

[Note: This post-poem also appears on my general  blog today, given that feedback continues to suggest that many LGBT readers remain inclined to give this one a miss.] RT

PS Yes, I am working on a new gay-specific poem.