Alternatives OR My Life, My Choices (No one Else's)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

Several readers have contacted me about my poem 'Only Human' about the guilt many Catholixs are made to feel for being gay. Opinion was divided for and against and only marginally the former. One person wrote, ‘…you should be ashamed of yourself for attacking the Holy Father, you along with gay and transgender s**t heads everywhere. As for saying you are not disrespectful of religion, it is not the impression anyone would have from reading your blogs. How dare you share your sick mind and spirit with others…?’

Well, the reader is entitled to his or her opinion of course…and so am I. I have always thought it's a great pity more people aren’t prepared to agree to differ rather than insult or fight each other.

Meanwhile…

Most people who wrote in were sympathetic to my point of view whether or not they agreed with it. One person, though, said ‘It is typical of a gay man to turn his back on God. Go on, admit it. You would be too ashamed to face Him…that’s why you can’t handle religion, because you know God disapproves of your lifestyle.’

Oh, dear, Roger’s in hot water again…

For a start, I certainly don’t believe it is ‘typical’ of a gay man or woman to turn their backs on God; many gay people have succeeded in reconciling their sexuality with their religion in spite of innumerable obstacles placed in their paths by the less enlightened among heterosexual family members and friends, not to mention religious leaders who use religion not only as an excuse but also as a weapon to defend their bigotry.

While I take issue with many aspects of religion, I respect all those who are prepared to enter into its basic humanitarian rather than just theological principles; that is to say, keep an open mindedness and open heartedness without which dogma and ritual are little more than play acting.

Everyone is entitled to believe in what or whom they will or nothing and no one at all. But lose our capacity for humanity and its respect for those with whom we can but agree to differ and we may well find ourselves but play acting in the longest running soap opera of all…

There are always alternatives, even if only sometimes rock and hard place. Moreover, maturity entitles us to make our own choices, not have them made for us by those who like to think they always know what’s best for us, and for whom the sum total of those same alternatives is invariably their ultimate nemesis.

We don't have a choice about being gay, it has to be in the genes or there would be no accounting for gay people worldwide from all manner of socio-cultural-religious backgrounds. No, choice comes if, how and when we decide to openly acknowledge being gay or live a lie. Some societies make this all but impossible, in which those circumstances, it may well be enough to acknowledge our sexuality to ourselves and those closest to us (who may need a little time to get used to the idea). Meanwhile, those gay people who have the moral courage to go a step further and knock on that gay-unfriendly society's door  to be let in deserve our praise, admiration and gratitude since that is the only way bigotry will be defeated.

ALTERNATIVES or MY LIFE, MY CHOICES (NO ONE ELSE'S)

I looked for God in heaven
but did not find Him there,
looked again, in sun and rain
for Earth Mother

Some say it’s, oh, so pagan,
as bad as being gay;
I just see myself as someone
looking nature’s way

God is many things to many,
interpreting His conditions
for the good of all humanity
according to its religions

The sun rises, sets, rises again
and no one takes issue
nor that moon and stars shine
or songbirds sleep as we do

Let nature sue for harmony,
hear our confessions,
and we feed less on acrimony
spread by world religions

To wake, sleep and wake again
may or may not imply rebirth
and, yes, each to his or her own
but we share a common earth

Who looks for God in heaven
and does not find Him there
has but to look in sun and rain
for Earth Mother

See, too, nature assert its power
where humankind gone too far

Copyright R. N. Taber 2008

[Note: From: Tracking the Torchbearer: poems by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2012; revised ed. in e-format in preparation.]

Let (Gay) Love Dare Speak Its Name

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

Update (June 27 2016): regulars readers will know that I do not subscribe to any religion. Even so, I ahve always said that religion and homosexuality should not be seen as mutually exclusive; where they are, it is religion that is found wanting. I am very encouraged, therefore, on behalf of gay Catholics worldwide, by Pope Francis' recent remarks.He said Christians owe apologies to gay people and others who have been offended or exploited by the church, remarks that some Catholics have hailed as a breakthrough in the church's tone toward homosexuality: "I repeat what the Catechism of the Catholic Church says: that they must not be discriminated against, that they must be respected and accompanied pastorally." - Pope Francis at a press conference aboard the papal plane returning from Armenia at the weekend.

Meanwhile...

Today's is essentially autobiographical. I had no idea he was a priest when I met him. It was like something out of that wonderful movie 'Priest' although neither of us can compare for looks or charisma with Linus Roache (who plays the priest in the movie) or Robert Carlyle (his lover). During the course of our relationship, I found myself considering the whole Catholic ethos and becoming increasingly disturbed by it.

My main objection to the Catholic Church had always been its condemnation of homosexuality and the use of condoms in a world that has to live with HIV-AIDS together with what I have always considered to be a conveniently customised attitude to ‘sin’. I had not given much thought to its priests themselves.

As far as I am concerned, there is nothing unnatural about homosexuality. Sexuality has to be in the genes. We are born this way, although what we do about it is down to us. Celibacy, on the other hand does strikes me as being unnatural. If Catholics feel they should follow Jesus Christ’s example, fair enough. But how do we know for sure that Jesus was celibate? Because the Bible makes no mention of it doesn’t mean He never had sex. After all, while He may or may not have been the Son of God, he lived on Earth as a man. Sex is, after all, a very private matter between two people. Besides, it has nothing whatever to do with His coming to tell the world about a kinder God than portrayed in the Old Testament and thus encourage a more compassionate, understanding relationship between individuals, races, tribes, communities, whatever…than, for the most part, humankind has ever felt inclined.

My priest lover left the Catholic Church. Yet he still thinks of himself as a man of God…and why shouldn’t he? He and his partner have lived happily together for some years now and while erstwhile Catholic colleagues might begrudge them their happiness I feel certain God doesn’t.

[Note: Regarding Catholicism, I feel successive popes have a lot to answer for, and am always wryly amused by the way in which my blogger colleague Edwin Black chooses to make his feeling son the subject known via his satirical blog: http://bardicblackspot.blogspot.com  His 'Temptations of the Flush' (also available as an e-book on Google Play) may be outrageous, but - as all satire intends - it is also very thought provoking.]

It is yet another tragedy of contemporaneity that - even in the so-called 'liberal thinking' West - LGBT folks are forced by home/ society environments to live out their lives in a closet, often without even a regular partner to make it bearable.

LET (GAY) LOVE DARE SPEAK ITS NAME

My love for a priest
dare never speak its name;
though he loved me too,
he’d hang his head in shame
when I’d plead (tearfully)
that he acknowledge me

My love for a priest
ran deep and true for years;
though he loved me too,
begged me never leave,
he was not a man to wear
his faith on his sleeve

My love for a priest
could not survive his guilt,
taught that his sexuality
sucks up to an immorality
his congregation so deplores
it slams shut its doors

My love for a priest
could not hope to compete
with a religion bent
on encouraging deceit,
suggesting our God bless
who would disown us

My love for a priest
could not survive the closet
his Church imposes
and I found someone new
to love and acknowledge me
as I needed to be

Our love did not revive
after he finally left his Church
to reassure gay folks
cast out, that God gives up
up on no one, will always wait
for us at Heaven's gate

If God is Love, we should dare
speak its name anywhere

Copyright R N Taber 2010, 2019

[Note: An earlier version of this poem appears under the title Let Love Dare Speak Its Name in On the Battlefields of Love by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2010]