Perfect Strangers

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

Sometimes we sense a mutual attraction but can’t be sure, past mistakes gathering like vultures to pounce on the remains of yet another disappointment or worse.

Gay or straight, you know the feeling…that this just might be the One, but self-confidence is shaky after taking so many knocks…  

Well, what’s the worst that can happen? He (or she) is not interested. It's hardly the end of the world...

Whatever, every stranger is a potential friend if not more, so...worth finding out, surely, and letting time and tide take its course? 

Someone may not turn out to be the love of our lives, but the love of a good friend can never be overrated. 

PERFECT STRANGERS 

Shirt front hung wide open, red hairs

on his chest;

tongues of fire, leaping out at me,

licking at my nipples,

rekindling desire, teasing this cold heart

with dreams once cherished,

long forsaken;

liquid eyes spilling over, soaking my tee

like spring rain,

letting a body breathe again after years

of choking on ashes,

living on flashes of memory

I long to take this stranger in my arms,

be close to someone again,

yet dare not even ask his name,

can but look, my life

an open book if he but cares to flick a page

or two, sewn with paper thin threads

of flesh and bone, sure to snap

should he come any closer, neither of us

quite ready to give word or sign

that we’re peeping through the keyhole

of a door to a heaven

that has rarely welcomed us before

Lips parting, tongues shyly peeping,

hearts fairly leaping...

Copyright R. N. Taber 2005; 2011

[Note: revised from an earlier version that appears in 1st eds. of A Feeling for the Quickness of Time by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2004.]

Messaging Christmas Day

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

[Update, Nov. 2018: A mixed (general and gay-interest) selection of my best poems will be published by Austin Macauley under the title 'Addressing the Art of Being Human' within the next few months; previous titles were self-published and sold well, but were only available in the UK whereas A M have offices in London and New York so it will be widely available.] RNT

Now, whether you celebrate religious festivals like Christmas or not, alone or with family and friends…may the most important wishes on your wish list will come true.

Yes, this poem is another villanelle.  As regular readers will know, I love villanelles and have written nearly 200. Readers have asked if they are available in a collection but the answer is, no. I have approached a few poetry publishers but none were interested, partly because villanelles are considered old fashioned in poetry circles these days and partly because some are on a gay theme. 

I suspect you would be surprised how many poetry publishers and magazine editors won’t accept gay material ... yes, even in the 21st century.  Some 600+ of my poems have appeared in various poetry publications world-wide since 1993 (excluding any that have only appeared in my collections) yet barely 2% of those have been on a gay theme. 

Let’s hope next year will not only be the year the less enlightened among the heterosexual majority grow up and get real about gay boys and girls, men and women…whatever their socio-cultural-religious background...but also a few poetry publishers/editors too.

MESSAGING CHRISTMAS DAY

What else is there left to say
but to wish peace and love to all,
in messaging Christmas Day?

May lonely people find a way
out of free falling in a Black Hole;
what else is there left to say?

Listen to the homeless as they
may well be making Hope's last call
in messaging Christmas Day

May the world, its fears allay
that a War on Terror not see it fall;
what else is there left to say?

Let peace-and-love have its say,
wake the world with its rallying call
in messaging Christmas Day

May young and old ever say 'nay'
to denying Human Rights a lead role;
what else is there left to say,
in messaging Christmas Day?

Copyright R. N. Taber 2009; Rev. 2018

Learning Curve

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

I have lived alone for many years, but it was not always that way, and I will always feel the same warm glow I like to think made me a better person for travelling love’s learning curve. Love, of course, comes in all shapes and forms - people, pets, nature, to name but three - all deserving better than to be taken for granted.

Sexuality is a learning curve for all of us, of course. Gay, straight, bisexual or transgender, we all need to show respect for each other's sexual orientation, not least by rejecting what are invariably misguided and (only too often) offensive stereotypes. 

LEARNING CURVE 

I could not believe I am gay;

it went against everything told and taught,

yet catching sight of you every day

urged me to account for tears on my pillow

every night

I tried to refuse you entry

to my dreams with some safer distraction

than an emerging sexuality,

but you would always invade, relish centre

of attraction

One day you suggested a meal

at your house, implying others joining us,

but not long after my arrival

I understood no one else would be coming,

and grew nervous

I wanted to leave, needed to stay,

slowly relaxed, began to unwind, feel free

to let my body have its way

with the heart’s desires, for all its growing

intensity

When you kissed me, I nearly died;

you instantly withdrew, a tableau of dismay,

till my kinder senses rallied

and I finally embraced the sure knowledge

I am gay

Soon after, I told family and friends

we are partners, and you're my dream lover;
some accept us, others can't,
but that's life, and we will see ours through 

together

I could not believe I am gay;

it went against everything told and taught,

yet loving you more each day

is a learning curve, sure to dry any tears 
we share at night

Copyright R. N. Taber 2014

Finding Freedom

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

I was not always openly gay, having grown up as a youth and young man at a time when gay relationships were a criminal offence and considered a sin but most religions. 

Now, thankfully, the broader-thinking West at least has learned to accept that being gay is genetic and no more unnatural than being born. Sadly, though, not everyone among the heterosexual majority shares this enlightened view. Across the world, even in the so-called ‘liberal’ West, gay boys and girls, men and women, are growing up in a gay-unfriendly environment, encouraged to believe they are the lowest of the low for being gay.

It took me some time to stop feeling self-conscious about being gay, to understand (and act on it) that we must never let anyone put us down for our sexuality, least of all ourselves.

For whatever reason (whatever our colour, creed, sex or sexuality) many of us are often made to feel slaves to that fickle creature, 'Convention'; the inner self deserves better.

FINDING FREEDOM

I once walked narrow streets

in the bitter cold and dark of winter,

body, mind and spirit

crying out to be heard, trusted,

loved, and free

No one in those narrow streets

gave me a second look or seemed

to care that I was in crisis,

duped into believing I had no right

to even be there

I paused at a bright shop window

whose lights and colours turned me

into a patched-up clown

(minus wide smile) in a circus ring,

raining sawdust

Suddenly, a burst of wild applause

for my doppelganger clowning it up

in the window and loving

every minute, soaking up applause

like spring rain

I raised a smile, a chuckle, a laugh,

and continued along the narrow streets

that seemed broader now,

people nodding and smiling at me,

a common humanity

Apollo peeped from behind a cloud

as if to complement a metamorphosis,

welcome a lonely gay man

into the human race, its prejudices

melting away

Now, as I walk those same streets

in the bitter cold and dark of winter,

body, mind and spirit

rejoice for having found a voice, love,

and freedom

Copyright R. N. Taber 2014

Heart to Heart, a Plea for Common Sense

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

Several emails from readers worried sick about the reaction of family and friends to their coming out prompted me to write today’s poem.

If acknowledging to ourselves we are gay is traumatic experience, coming out to friends and family can prove even more so. especially if we live in a gay-unfriendly socio-cultural-religious environment. 

here we are in the 21st century and still homophobia is alive and kicking. In my experience, this is often because so many straight people have no understanding about what it means to be gay, trenagender of simply 'different'. - not least because they have neither really thought about it nor had a chance to discuss it, calmly, objectively and intelligently either at home, school or wherever. Consequently, they remain hung up on misleading, invariably offensive stereotypes that continue to attach themselves to gay and transgender men and women in the minds of the less enlightened among the heterosexual majority.

As I have said any times on my blogs, our differences do not make us different, simply human.

The problem with so-called political correctness is that too many people are afraid to say what they really think. How can we put people right unless we know what they are thinking? There is nothing worse than being tolerated. Sexuality deserves better. For a start, it deserves respect.

A heart to heart can work wonders. (Did I say it would be easy?)

HEART TO HEART, A PLEA FOR COMMON SENSE

Dear family and friends,

see how, come what may,

it really makes no difference

I’m gay

I’m the same person,

that’s sharing with you

the same heartfelt conviction

love is all

If love but conditional,

where does that leave us

as supposedly more spiritual

than beasts?

I crave love and peace,

and if you loved me once,

why should you love me less

for my sexuality?

Infant, now grown3 rev. 

no less a Child of the Earth

or free to run with nature’s own

for being gay

Copyright R. N. Taber 2004, rev. 2014

[Note: An earlier version of this poem was written in 2003 and first published in The Third Eye by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2004.]

What Goes Around, Comes Around

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

For as long as I can remember, Brighton on the East Sussex coast has always been a gay-friendly place. Many years ago, I met someone there with whom I had a brief fling that lasted all of one day. It was raining and we spent most of the time in his hotel room. It was my first experience of sleeping in a four-poster bed.

In recent years, I met up with an old friend who introduced me to someone with whom he had been at school some 50 years ago…who turned out to be the same young man (much older now, of course) I’d met that rainy day back in 1966. In those days, of course, same sex relationships were still illegal in the UK.

Incredibly, we recognized each other at once. Confiding some but not (quite) all to our mutual friend, we seized an opportunity later to take a trip down Memory Lane…in more ways than one.

True enough, it is a fact of life that, more often than not (one way or another) what goes around comes around …eventually.

This poem is a villanelle.

WHAT GOES AROUND, COMES AROUND

What goes around, comes around,

no matter, gay or straight

as spring seeds to wintry ground

Let time, our mistakes, compound

(love will always see us right?)

what goes around, comes around

As dogs of war run peace to ground,

see humanity put to rout…

as spring seeds to wintry ground

In all nature, no finer, sweeter sound

than love songs killing hate

what goes around, comes around

Let martyrdom, its myths compound

where light and darkness mate

as spring seeds to wintry ground

Where sexuality dares speak its mind

(or society construct a closet)

what goes around, comes around

as spring seeds to wintry ground

[Brighton, East Sussex, March 17th 2010]

Copyright R. N. Taber 2010

Win Some, Lose Some

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

I suspect most if not all of us have been there, when sex is (temporarily) enough and a relationship just isn’t on the cards.

Have fun, but be careful out there…

WIN SOME, LOSE SOME 

We got raunchy in a sauna

but didn’t get very far;

others wanted in on the act

and we really weren’t up

for an orgy so we drove

into the country,

had sex among the trees,

songbirds nesting

above, indifferent and snug

as you please

Bodies kindling each other

like rolled newspapers

to a flame, plagiarizing

soap opera storylines

till dawn when we rose,

passion faded

like the moon, got real

and went home;

I didn’t ask for his number

or give mine

We both knew there wouldn’t

be a next time…

Copyright R. N. Taber 2002; 2014

[Note: An earlier version of this poem (only slightly revised here) appears in First Person Plural by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2002.]