Always Open to Dialogue OR Opening Up Closed Minds

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber.

Now it's an old truism that you can bring a horse to water, but you cannot make it drink. Gay, straight or transgender, it is up to the individual to find his or her way in life, which includes acknowledging (or not) their sexuality. Nor is it up to anyone else to speculate or fuel rumour and gossip. Sexuality is only part of the whole person; it is the whole that counts.

Who are we, any of us, to pass an uninformed judgement on the part and apply it to the whole?

As far as being gay is concerned, I can tell you from personal experience that not coming to grips with sexuality can result in a slow but sure build-up of mental health problems. I was only 14 years-old when I acknowledged to my awakening sexual self that I am gay. (Gay relationships were illegal in those days.) Subsequent closet years contributed significantly to my suffering a severe nervous breakdown in my early thirties. It took me a long time (years, not weeks or months) to recover and get my life back on track, but on track it was at last, not least because I was now openly gay where previously I had been in and out of that damn closet like a Jack-in-the-box, something I would not wish on my worst enemy.

Being gay is no more a matter of choice than being straight; acknowledging and acting on it...that is the choice all LGBT people face, and learning to live with ourselves. Whatever our sex or sexuality,  life is rarely an easy path, but better (surely?) to tackle its ups and downs as we are rather than as we or others might have us be? For me, the latter was like trying to breathe in someone else's skin, a living nightmare.

Whatever life choices we make because feel it is right, that choice should be respected, not condemned because certain socio-cultural-religious elements in any society anywhere happen to take a different view. We may well find ourselves harbouring strong feelings for or against one or more aspects of a person's expressed take on life, but we have no right to judge that person on those alone, and it would be a crime against humanity to do so; we may dislike, even hate a particular song for its lyric, orchestral arrangement, whatever...but only a total jerk would presume to judge the singer on the basis of one performance. (While not presuming to suggest all gay-unfriendly folks are jerks, if the cap fits...)

'A conversation is a dialogue, not a monologue. That's why there are so few good conversations: due to scarcity, two intelligent talkers seldom meet.' - Truman Capote

'Once you have dialogue starting, you know you can break down prejudice.' - Harvey Milk

This poem is a kenning

ALWAYS OPEN TO DIALOGUE

I am no enemy,

and more sinned against

than sinning…

wherever I go, whatever

path I take in life,

trudging sadly, skipping madly

or taking wary steps

among minefields haunting

most if not all of us   

I am a friend,

born to be so to the end

of life’s journey,

even beyond halcyon days

and nights committed

to sweet memory, transcending

any regret for times past,

inspiring an earthy spirituality

in most if not all of us

See me for what I am,

a natural ally to conscience

since its birth, always

on its side, knowing right

from wrong, discerning

society’s excuses and abuses,

unafraid to pleasure me

despite bigotry and hypocrisy

conspiring against us

It's a closed mind judges my integrity
on the grounds of my sexuality

Copyright R. N. Taber 2011; 2016

Who Upsets the Applecart gets to Calm the Horse

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

It is one of many modern tragedies that - in spite of pro-gay legislation in some countries (or at least the lack of any anti-gay legislation) many societies continue to pay but lip service to various Human Rights. My arthritis and prostate cancer mean that I don't socialise half as much as I used to, but as late as 2016, I met a couple  who came to London to live and work because "In the (English) village  we come from, gays are considered perverts."

Regular readers will know that I had acknowledged to myself that I am gay by the time I was 14 years-old. In those days (late 1950's) same sex relationships were a taboo. Homosexuality was considered a sin, an abomination. (Socio-cultural-religious bigots among us still do, of course.)

Imagine the effect of that on a vulnerable teenager … i

In my case, it led to my having a nasty nervous breakdown  in my early 30's. Ironically, it turned out to be a positive turning point in my life. although it would be a few more years yet before I stopped being a scared jack-in-the-box and declared my sexuality to one and all.

Gay people are not the only star-crossed lovers around the world, of course; lovers from different cultures, religious and  even social standing  continue to be ostracised by some family and friends.

Regarding homosexuality, education has to be the key to dispelling the many misleading and often offensive stereotypes that continue to attach themselves to same sex lovers worldwide (among other subjects many of us prefer to avoid) BUT what schools (and teachers) are willing to discuss sex and sexuality openly, sensitively and honestly with their classes? I can’t see many if any Faith schools obliging - whether Muslim, C of E, Catholic, whatever ... well, can you?

This poem is a villanelle.

WHO UPSETS THE APPLECART GETS TO CALM THE HORSE

Our conjoined head-heart,

conceived with due love and care,
upsetting whose apple cart?

Suspect from the very start

by such 'betters' as hadn't any idea;  

our conjoined, head-heart

Politics playing it smart,

promising change, logistics unclear,
upsetting whose apple cart?

No sweet a fruit or as tart

than this gay love we can but share;

our conjoined head-heart

Defying rhetoric's darker art

(equal even to Medusa's stony stare;)
upsetting whose apple cart?

Target for a bigot's poison dart

(as sure to fly any time as anywhere);

our conjoined, head-heart,

upsetting whose apple cart?

Copyright R. N. Taber 2016

Facts of Life

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

Different peoples of the world speak different languages, but life, at heart, has no need of  words (in any language, spoken or written) to get certain points of view across. 

As often as not, it is not what we say but the way we say it that too easily leaves itself (and ourselves) open to interpretation...or misinterpretation, as the case may be.

Sadly, many world cultures and religions remain instrinsically homophobic. but when did love ever need anyone's permission...? Love just IS...and the sooner everyone accepts that, the better its chances (and ours) of achieving a kinder, safer, peaceful world. 

Oh, but I wish...

FACTS OF LIFE

We have to make love
behind locked doors, only (might)
confide in close friends.
dare not be seen (ever) holding hands
or reprimand Society
for making a taboo of our sexuality
(in defying convention)
and what is  ‘convention’ anyway
but a game people play?

Our ‘betters’ passing laws
according to the nature of the society
they intend we live by…
Fair enough, where criminality rife,
but don’t we all deserve
a life that rich, honest and true?
Sexuality is a fact of life, 
offering the joys of love and peace
to whomsoever seeks

Once doors left unlocked,
intruders (ever claiming legitimacy)
intending us harm
for not (fully) complying with rules
laid down by our ‘betters’
for the greater good if demonising
anyone advocating
views incompatible with ‘normal’
so therefore ‘unnatural’

Blame stereotypes (heads in sand);
copycat sheep of the human kind

Copyright R. N. Taber 2016

Going with the Music OR Play On...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

Don’t we all have our eye on the main chance where falling in love is concerned? Gay or straight, we can’t afford to be caught out wearing blinkers …

At the same time, of course, we need to learn the best steps likely to find ourselves a partner in life if not for life; it's no fun engaging with shadows in a closet.

As classic playwright William Shakespeare frequently comments, one way or another, in many of his his plays: - 'If music be the food of love, play on... 'Twelfth Night (1602) 

GOING WITH THE MUSIC

Shirt open,

muscles rippling,

slim fit jeans

defying mutual desires

to pussyfoot

around each other

like politicians

with an eye on the

main chance

while not wanting

to queer

their pitch with any

second

(or third) choices

likely game

for second (or third)

chances

Body going

with the music,

in time

with, oh, so playful toes

winking

back at mine,

suggesting

we leave the floor,

head for

the bar, see where

it leads...

(your place or mine?)

anxious to play

the cool customer

while making the case

for sex

Mind getting

lost in the music,

reaching out

to you for a helping hand,

sensing

your piano fingers

playing mine

(a familiar enough tune)

its subtleties

stirring memories

of times

when spirit and flesh

both equal

to the greater task,

making more

of one-night stands

than sex

Shirts off,

muscles rippling,

hairy legs

taking mutual desires

full on,

no pussy footing

around

each other

like politicians,

but an eye on the

main chance

with no intention

of queering

our pitch with any

second

(or third) choices,

only game

(this time) for staying

the course

Copyright R. N. Taber 2016

Having Writ, Moving On, and Making History

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

Today's poem - the last in a series of poems I have written for the blog to mark LGBT History Month here in the UK - is another villanelle. A repetitive theme, true, but it’s repetition that best serves the less retentive human memory...which is probably why human history is often inclined to repeat itself.

Now, in many of the world’s societies and in the minds of the less enlightened heterosexual, gay men and woman remain the lesser among equals. Elsewhere, times are changing for the better; we are not only making our voice heard but also our presence felt while making the kind of positive contribution to society, human relationships and humankind in general to which most if not all of us aspire.

Change, though, is rarely evenly spread across the world’s home fronts, taking its cue from Time, a notoriously fickle ally by any standards. Whatever, that old-stand by Hope is always willing and able to pick up any pieces, put us together (yet) again and spur us on. I suspect it all starts with our taking responsibility for who and what we are rather than finding someone else to blame wherever and whenever any question of blame arises.

“The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ,
Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor Wit
Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,
Nor all thy Tears wash out a Word of it.”

― Omar Khayyám  (re Edward Fitzgerald's translation of The Rubáiyát, 1859]

Yes, we may well look back in anger and/or grief but also for inspiration, corner stone of all history.

HAVING WRIT, MOVING ON, AND MAKING HISTORY  

Child of my century
like any other,
no matter, my sexuality

Born, an innocent babe
to Earth Mother;
child of my century

Turning pages of history
on human nature,
no matter, my sexuality

Often, object of bigotry
like no other;
child of my century

Ever wary of inhumanity
breaking cover,
no matter, my sexuality

Where the sicker society
abets homophobia…
child of my century,
no matter, my sexuality

Copyright R. N. Taber 2016

No Legislation for Bad Attitude or Gay in Ukraine

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

I have some readers in Ukraine so when one contacted me suggesting I write another ‘place’ poem for what is LGBT History month here in the UK, I naturally gave it a lot of thought, resulting in the villanelle below.

‘Non-commercial, same-sex sexual activity between consenting adults in private is legal in Ukraine, but prevailing social attitudes are often described as being intolerant of LGBT people and households headed by same-sex couples are not eligible for any of the same legal protections available to opposite-sex couples. In a 2010 European study, 28% of Ukrainians polled believed that LGBT individuals should live freely and however they like.’ – Wikipedia

While even just 28% is encouraging, what of the majority 72%? How long will it take them to get real about their gay neighbours when, after all, it involves no more or less than practising an everyday humanity?  

If there is one thing this changing world of ours has yet to learn, it is that human rights and cultural rites are NOT mutually exclusive; only then are we likely to see less local, national and international in-fighting...

Kiev - Photo from the Internet

This poem is a villanelle.

NO LEGISLATION FOR BAD ATTITUDE or GAY IN UKRAINE 

Come a 21st century modernity
(to all intents and purposes)
old prejudices (still) a priority

That usual culprit, immorality,
furthering social causes,
come a 21st century modernity

Less tolerant of homosexuality
(in traditionalist families)
old prejudices (still) a priority

Doing battle with its historicity
(powerful cultural forces)
come a 21st century modernity

Human rights demanding eqality
(encouraged by EU laws)
old prejudices (still) a priority

Few acknowledging our integrity,
gay folks cast long shadows;
come a 21st century modernity,
old prejudices (still) a priority


Copyright R. N. Taber 2016

Looking the World in the Eye

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

How many of us can say, hand on heart, that we have never told a lie? True, some lies are for the greater good; others, though, have a way at eating away at us.

They say you can tell if a person is lying by looking them directly in the eye. Perhaps, but even more so, in my personal experience, if that same person, once challenged by word or glance, looks away before we can test the theory for ourselves; it is a useful tip for those of us who think we may have found someone to love while, in truth, they are only looking for sex.

Don’t get me wrong. I am not knocking sex, but there is more to life, and love cannot survive on sex alone.  Man or woman, gay, straight or transgender, it makes no difference. We are all vulnerable when it comes to love.  Who doesn’t have a tale to tell about someone suspecting they may well have a one-way ticket to love while doing a damn good job of convincing themselves otherwise?  Invariably, though, the eyes have it, and truth will out.

What’s that? Oh, dear me, no. I’m not knocking truth either. Truth is one of the few forces in life that can turn a negative into a positive, weakness into strength, even if it is often inclined to take its time in doing so…

This poem is a villanelle.

 LOOKING THE WORLD IN THE EYE

Life can hurt, make us cry,

even lead us astray…

(Worse, if buried in a lie)

When love begs give it a try,

do we look away?

Life can hurt, make us cry

Once love asks reasons why,

it fades away…

(Worse, if buried in a lie)

Yes, we look folks in the eye

and say, “I’m gay.”

Life can hurt, make us cry

Cave in to history, let it deny

and drain us away?

(Worse, if buried in a lie)

Once we look love in the eye,

we win the day;

life can hurt, make us cry

(worse, if buried in a lie)

Copyright R. N. Taber 2008