An Affinity with the Spiritual Nature of Ancient Woodlands

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

I first published this poem on my general blog in 2015; while feedback suggests it proved popular with many readers, others clearly took issue with a gay man writing about spirituality, especially one who does not subscribe to any religion.Well, I am also a poet, and no less susceptible to the haunting atmosphere of ancient woodlands than anyone else. More than one reader said I should delete it, but it remains  there to this day. 

As for spirituality, why should we suppose that any religion has a monopoly on that? We are all, each and every one of us human, and a living spirit goes with the whole package; indeed, it shapes our lives , depending on how we envisage it which, in turn, affects how we use (or abuse) it. 

Regular readers will know that if I have any religion at all, it is nature, and I am inclined to think of myself as something of a pantheist. Nature has always stirred a spirituality in me as timeless as itself, invoking a sense of poetry I struggle to express if only because there are no words in any language that come close to explaining it. In general, we all appreciate explanations, if only because they help us to better understand; any lack of understanding leaves us feeling inept, uncertain, even fearful, and human nature does not tolerate any of these lightly. For many people, their religion and its dogma gives them an understanding of life to which they can relate, helps them to understand life, for all its complex web of truth and lies; it gives them self-confidence, and will see them through good times and bad.

Don't get me wrong. I am not having a go at religion, simply making the point that not subscribing to one (and/or being of an LGBT persuasion) does not make anyone a 'freak of nature' as I have been by called by as many a 'devout' person as the least devout.

AN AFFINITY WITH THE SPIRITUAL NATURE OF ANCIENT WOODLANDS

Leafy dome, a spread of crystal prisms;

like a familiar cheek deflecting its tears

Stained glassiness, images of a sunset;

pink flesh betraying shades of ageing

Moon, shining through, beacon of hope;

human spirit anxious for inspiration

Stars, drawing on mythology and religion

to engage the human mind’s potential

Clouds, siding with the world’s sceptics

shaping like endings to like beginnings

Dome, engaging with our metamorphoses,

inciting we creative dreamers to waken

Glassiness, flushed with dawn’s promises;

pink flesh, responding to nature’s kisses

Birdsong, like distant bells ringing changes;

humanity, left trailing old gods and new

Between earth and sky, our time and space;

to each of us, a prism (some call it Heaven)

Copyright R. N. Taber 2015

Facts of Life

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

Different peoples of the world speak different languages, but life, at heart, has no need of  words (in any language, spoken or written) to get certain points of view across. 

As often as not, it is not what we say but the way we say it that too easily leaves itself (and ourselves) open to interpretation...or misinterpretation, as the case may be.

Sadly, many world cultures and religions remain instrinsically homophobic. but when did love ever need anyone's permission...? Love just IS...and the sooner everyone accepts that, the better its chances (and ours) of achieving a kinder, safer, peaceful world. 

Oh, but I wish...

FACTS OF LIFE

We have to make love
behind locked doors, only (might)
confide in close friends.
dare not be seen (ever) holding hands
or reprimand Society
for making a taboo of our sexuality
(in defying convention)
and what is  ‘convention’ anyway
but a game people play?

Our ‘betters’ passing laws
according to the nature of the society
they intend we live by…
Fair enough, where criminality rife,
but don’t we all deserve
a life that rich, honest and true?
Sexuality is a fact of life, 
offering the joys of love and peace
to whomsoever seeks

Once doors left unlocked,
intruders (ever claiming legitimacy)
intending us harm
for not (fully) complying with rules
laid down by our ‘betters’
for the greater good if demonising
anyone advocating
views incompatible with ‘normal’
so therefore ‘unnatural’

Blame stereotypes (heads in sand);
copycat sheep of the human kind

Copyright R. N. Taber 2016

What-a-Mess

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

A reader once emailed me to say he or she found it “disturbing if not offensive” that my poetry collections include poems on a gay theme.

What can I say? Our sexuality is only a part - albeit an integral one - of who we are. There is more to us all, gay or straight, than our sexulity. Do we ignore the rest? Of course not, yet I have noticed that once a straight person knows I am gay, many are inclined to look no further. 

We should take poems - like people - as we find them, surely? By all means, be critical…but not judgemental. We might even try to learn if not always take pleasure from them. Besides general and gay-interest poetry simply reflect different (but not separate) voices of the same genre; similarly, whatever our ethnicity, creed, sex or sexuality, we comprise the same human race. 

Well, don't we...?

WHAT-A-MESS

I’m gay, okay? That’s me,
so take it or leave it, love me,
make time for a chat (world
to rights, tit-for-tat) or let me be;
all in the same boat, none of us
the better, worse, wiser, less able 
than anyone else to explain
where common sense has gone
in respecting other points of view
since acknowledged human

I mean to say, society's a mess
without gay folks driving home
the point, must be something 
in who shouts the louder gets heard
the sooner (if not listened to)
no one else finding an ear, unless 
they so happen to be fighting 
some politically sensitive corner, 
given that all's fair in love and war
notwithstanding glaring errors

Better we do our own thing
and go our own ways, no matter
our 'betters' enjoy the benefit
of their field days, closing ranks
for doing their well-meaning
best or worst by whatever colour, 
creed, sexuality or our station
in life who would but stay true
to ourselves and each other if only
to keep body and soul together

Whatever anyone else may say
or do, 1+ 1 one will always make
the two of us, though a precious
humanity get it wrong, preferring
to do certain sums differently,
inclined to forget just how much 
diversity contributes to Society
except when needs must tap into
its voting power, take us all for fools
for believing it's got its sums right

Copyright R. N.Taber 2004; 2018

[Note: An earlier version of this poem was published under the title 'One to One' in The Third Eye by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2004]

Finding Love, No Holds Barred

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

Regular readers will know that, while there is an autobiographical thread in many of my poems, just as many others have their origins in conversations I have enjoyed with various people in bars, on trains, even at bus stops. This poem takes me back to a delightful evening I once spent in the company of two young Catholics on holiday from Rome who were refreshingly unafraid to embrace God and each other…

Regular readers will also know that I am not a religious person; although raised a Christian, I found a sense of spirituality in nature that failed me in religion. At the same time, I respect anyone’s religious beliefs while refusing to believe that any God worthy of the name would hold a person’s sexuality against them, whatever their religion. Moreover, I reached this conclusion long before I realised or acknowledged (even to myself) that I am gay.

It saddens me greatly that, even in this 21^st Century, many gay people across the world feel obliged to choose between family, religion, and sexuality if only for appearances sake.

FINDING LOVE, NO HOLDS BARRED

At a fountain in the heart of Rome,

two people tossed two coins

for the same dream, neither expecting

their lives might yet change

for the better, override generations

of secrets and lies

At a fountain in the heart of Rome,

two people eagerly flirted

with the same dream if not believing

their hearts might yet shape it

the way of all good things, overriding

its secrets and lies

At a fountain in the heart of Rome,

two people engaged

with the same dream, hiding tears

for years of battling

to reconcile faith in a God of Love

with secrets and lies

At a fountain in the heart of Rome,

two people all but denied

the same dream, neither daring

to give desire its head,

acknowledge its passion, run a gamut

of secrets and lies

At a fountain in the heart of Rome,

two people sought hope

in ripples slowly but surely lending 

the same dream

graceful flight far above and beyond

any secrets and lies

At a fountain in the heart of Rome,

two people acknowledged

each other, visibly edging closer

to the same dream,

soaring with doves expressing despair

with secrets and lies

At a fountain in the heart of Rome,

two gay people began

a journey that would one day free them

to make their dream a reality

where no God of Love rejects anyone

for their sexuality

Copyright R. N. Taber 2015

Taking on the Bogeyman

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

As a child, I was taught to despise gay people. As a gay youth, and young man I learned (the hard way) to respect and feel good about myself.

It is only now, in my late 60s, that I can forgive the bigots for the torment they put me though. They were, for the most part, products of their generation.

What I cannot forgive, though, is that leading bigots worldwide are still putting gay men and women through the same torment. Is it not high time the civilized world got real about the deeper meaning of ‘civilized’ instead of scratching the surface?

Certainly, it is a harsh indictment on the 21st century so far that it continues to let these pathetic, spiritually unenlightened people who hide behind various socio-cultural-religious masks (likely to be seen by the even less enlightened as the respectable face of morality) continue to get away with corrupting humanity. Let these Bogeymen that have haunted generations stay under the bed, gather dust (and hopefully choke on it) while we sleep in peace, wake refreshed, ready willing and able to take on his like  whenever and wherever in the cold light of day...

Yes, we can point the finger at economic, political and religious culpability and plenty of it. But even if the sorry state of our world is down to such issues, humanity isn’t. Humanity is down to each and every one of us.

Whatever a person's colour, creed, sex or sexuality, no one is too small in the grand design of things to make a difference for the better (or too big to avoid comeuppance).

TAKING ON THE BOGEYMAN

I may well be your jailer,

keeping you prisoner of your skin,

making sure you dare not

let truth, hope and peace enter in

where even few angels will go

taught to know that God

would have them keep

well clear or become infected

with doubt and fear

You may well see me

as a mirror to all you are not

and all you would be…

but for the Bogey Man still peering

over your shoulder,

poised to leap on you before I’ve

even begun to make a case

in defence of truth hope and peace

deserving justice

Think of me as a friend,

at your side through thick and thin,

making sure you’ll not refuse

to let truth, hope and peace enter in

wherever you choose to go,

unafraid to let the world know

you refuse to be a prisoner

of its second skin, but chose to show

bigotry cannot win

See sexuality take on the Bogey Man

or mistake his reflection for your own

Copyright R. N. Taber 2014

Dogma, Selling Humanity Short

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

This poem prompted a number of protest emails when it appeared on both blogs in January 2009. Everyone is, of course entitled to their points of view ...and that includes yours truly.

Many religious minded people (by no means all, thank goodness) continue to look upon gay relationships as unnatural. The world’s religions have a problem with their gay followers. These people are a disgrace to their religion. While I am not a religious person, I would have said God is no homophobe even if I were not gay. Gay Christians, Muslims, Hindus, indeed gay subscribers to whatever Faith should feel reassured not threatened by it.  

We are as nature brings us into the world and that’s that as far as I am concerned. I take exception to this religion or that using it as an excuse to attack gay men and women and make them feel unworthy of the religion by which they were raised. Gay (and straight) men and women from various religions assure me there is nothing in the Holy Books that should be interpreted as encouraging hostility towards gay people. For example, the fact that all some Christians can throw at me for my sexuality is a few lines in Leviticus makes me wonder if they ever understood the New Testament at all. Leviticus is Old Testament and it was to correct false impressions of God as related there that Jesus came, preaching peace and love.

For me, Jesus was a historical figure whose teachings make a lot of sense. As for the Bible, I see much of it as the simile and metaphor of life.

We gay people are not the enemies of the heterosexual majority while many insist on seeing us as such. Perhaps more Christians, for example, should recall that Jesus said we should try and love our enemies? The whole point of the Good Samaritan parable is that Jews and Samaritans were sworn enemies at the time. Surely, love in this context implies an understanding and respect for each other’s differences instead of reviling and/or fighting over them?

This poem is a villanelle.

DOGMA, SELLING HUMANITY SHORT 

If religions have humanity in common

(where condemning homosexuality for a sin?)

why no time for gay men and women?

Why does prejudice get the come-on

(a common socio-cultural-religious equation)

if religions have humanity in common?

Where God the epitome of compassion

(and all for mutual respect between everyone)

why no time for gay men and women?

If freedom is the right of every person,

why make of spirituality a dungeon or prison

if religions have humanity in common? 

Where leaders piously follow the One,

and would take His or Her flock for their own,

why no time for gay men and women?

If God is Love, then long may it shine

upon all those who ask but its truth be shown;

if religions have humanity in common,

why no time for gay men and women?

Copyright R. N. Taber 2009

First (Closet) Love

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

I once watched with some jealousy as a local youth proudly introduced his new girlfriend to some mates. Yes, I was a shade jealous of their youth, but I was also remembering my own first love all those years ago, someone I could not introduce to my friends because we were gay. In those days, I used to play safe which invariably meant keeping head down and mouth shut if only for a quiet life. It would be some (too many) years before I'd take a long, hard, look at that quiet life, see it for the prison it was, and break out.

In the western world, being gay is a lot easier now than it was for me then, but rarely easy; much depends on whether we are fortunate enough to live in a gay-friendly environment which, in turn, may well depend on race, culture, religion or whatever other dogmatic mind-body-spirit we may have been raised to think is 'right' or 'normal' (but for whom?) Oh, we  may have political correctness and Gay Rights here in the UK and other more enlightened parts of the western world, but many gay boys and girls, men and women, are still growing up in a family and/or local environment that is anything but gay- friendly, especially those whose cultures of origin remain as anti-gay as ever.

When we gay people find ourselves in a gay-unfriendly environment - home, school, workplace or even all three - it can feel like fighting a war with the odds stacked up against us. We survive by choosing to bring survival various tactics into play, each in our own way. These are our choices, no one else's; we need to find our own war, survive according to what strikes us (at the time, at least) as the best available option. Even so, whatever the battle, we must never lose sight of winning whatever war it is we are fighting on whatever Front. 

Winning and losing will mean different things to different people. It helps, I have learned over the years, to bear in mind that we are not alone. Millions of gay people around the are world fighting the same battles; winning some, losing some. It's not so different if you're straight, just other battles, other wars, on other Fronts. I put this to a homophobic neighbour once. He didn't know what to say, just gave me a big hug. We became friends and stayed friends for years until he died. (But, yes, he could just as easily have beaten me to a pulp.)

Win or lose - wherever the battle, whatever the war - we need to speak up... if only to stand a real chance of having others accept and respect us for the  person we are not who they might prefer us to be for reasons best known to themselves; reasons that need to be aired, shared... and invariably found wanting. By not acknowledging and acting on this need, we simply create our own customised closet where love may well survive, but will never flower as nature intended. 

In some countries, speaking up for love is a criminal offence if you're gay, possibly even punishable by death. So, yes, it's easy for me to talk. Yet, if no one speaks up for change...little or nothing will ever change. History makes that very clear. The history, that is, of a common humanity of which gay people have as much a part to play (and do) as anyone else. Wherever a bigoted majority can't see that, it needs to look to its shortcomings and do right by itself as well as the rest of us; its tragedy is that it embraces cultures, religions (and politics) that can't see living woods for beautifully sculpted trees.

Not only gay men and woman have memories of closet love, of course, given various socio-cultural-religious prejudices and divisions worldwide. This is a gay-interest blog, though, so there you have it, a natural bias...

FIRST (CLOSET) LOVE

Last seen dying in the rain
wiping horn-rimmed glasses
empathising with my pain

Heartache, time and again,
brooding on broken promises
last seen dying in the rain

Wishing on weeping stars
for any clearer, kinder choices
empathising with my pain

Lies never up to the strain
of enemy hits and near misses,
last seen dying in the rain

Mind games in the fast lane
booze, weed, and sunny kisses
empathising with my pain

Home truths, precious bane,
life forces guarding such secrets
last seen dying in the rain,
empathising with my pain


Copyright R. N. Taber 2004 

[Note: An earlier version of this villanelle under the title 'Crying in the Rain' appears in The Third Eye by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2004]

The Long Farewell

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

Years ago, when few people knew I am gay, a work colleague discovered this. He did not threaten to ‘out’ me but warned me that homosexuality is a waste of a life and I should bid  the Devil farewell before it was too late and saving my soul was no longer an option. His sincerity both impressed and appalled me. Moreover, it inspired (or provoked?) me to do just that…if not in the way he meant.

I finally bid a devil in me farewell that had prevented me from acknowledging to the world that I am gay. It suddenly struck me like a bolt of lightning what I had always known but somehow failed to quite grasp. Since I had no cause to be ashamed of the sexuality to which I was born, what did it matter what anyone else thought?

Even now, so many years later, I cannot believe I was so scared of people knowing I am gay. I guess it is down to all those early years when homosexual relationships were against the law here and, even worse, (or so I was told) an offence against humanity.

Perhaps if my family life hadn’t cowed me so, and I could not only have confided on them but relied on their support, things might have been different, but none of that matters now anyway. I did tell my mother in the end and she was supportive, but not so much that she couldn’t resist asking me to keep it a secret from family, friends, and neighbours.

Yes, I have regrets (don’t we all have our share, gay or straight?) but none greater than not having come out to everyone sooner than I did and saying farewell to that cold, dark closet once and for all.

At least, I was able to do this. In many countries, gay men and women still do not freedom of choice.  Here’s a BIG hug for all of you.

This poem is a villanelle.

THE LONG FAREWELL

My hell for years,

a gay kiss dared dispel;

farewell, my fears

A face that leers,

curled lip I know so well

(my hell for years)

Self-hatred’s tears

wiped clean by its spell;

farewell, my fears

Where guilt reveres

each wishing star that fell

(my hell for years)

To glory, love steers

over bigotry’s ocean swell;

farewell, my fears

Nature engineers

light where its darkness fell

(my hell for years);

farewell my fears

Copyright R. N. Taber 2010

The Message OR Aspiring to Peace on Earth

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

As regular readers know, I subscribe to no religion. Nor would I call myself an atheist as I like to think I have a strong sense of spirituality... that I take from nature, nowhere else. However, I have open-minded, open-hearted friends of all faiths, including a close Muslim friend. It is my experience that the majority of ordinary men and women, whatever their belief or non-belief, are ready and willing to take others as they find them and do not let religion get in the way of establishing lasting friendships…however much their leaders, deliberately or otherwise, might encourage them to do so.

Tragically, it is the fundamentalists (in any religion) who shout the loudest and not only make themselves heard but are exploited by a world media who would have us believe they are 'typical' Muslims, Christians, Hindus...whatever.

It has been my experience that the majority of people from ethnic minority backgrounds are culturally homophobic although many self-styled ‘devout’ Christians no less so. However, I am glad to say there are many exceptions and, hopefully, these will eventually prevail over the bigoted majority.

Even so, these are worrying times for gay people. For example, a local newspaper in Tower Hamlets, a borough in the London’s East End that has a significant Muslim population, recently reported what reads as a very disturbing case. A teenager, apparently described by teachers at his school as “devout, humble Muslim” was recently acquitted on the charge of murdering a school student support office last November amid allegations that the victim was a “predatory paedophile”. The 17-year-old defendant admitted wielding the kitchen knife that fatally injured the man but said he had feared being raped or killed by him; he also admitted taking a knife with him in case the man tried to force him “into sexual acts”. Subsequently, he was unanimously cleared of both murder and manslaughter by the jury:

http://www.asianimage.co.uk/news/united_kingdom/8353101.A_Level_pupil_is_cleared_of_murdering_student_officer/

My problem with this case is that, as the article reads, whether or not the victim was an alleged paedophile or gay man, if the student thought he might be sexually assaulted, why visit the man anyway and take a knife with him?

Does this not give the green light to the view that 'It's okay to kill a gay' as I heard two schoolboys discussing on a bus only the other day? Worse, could it not also be interpreted as fuelling the misconception, commonly expressed by the less enlightened among the heterosexual majority, that gay = paedophile?

Whatever, the deplorably narrow-minded Far Right and may well be on the rise in the US and Europe, along with others easily influenced by some of their worst sentiments and, yes, they may well win a few battles in the years ahead…BUT...it/they cannot and will not win the war against those who uphold the principles of a common humanity. Humanity is bigger and better than that…yeah?

This poem is a villanelle.

THE MESSAGE or ASPIRING TO PEACE ON EARTH

The message of Islam is peace
though some people have other ideas;
beware, who dares undermine this

It’s of love the Koran teaches
though some people play on its tears;
the message of Islam is peace

To the world, its prophet reaches
though some people play on its fears;
beware, who dares undermine this

The truth about Islam is kindness
a prophet’s wisdom across centuries;
the message of Islam is peace

May religion, its martyrs embrace,
reject paltry egos poisoning its prayers;
beware, who dares undermine this

We are a common humanity, no less
for its religions and secular philosophies;
The message of Islam is peace;
beware, who dares undermine this

Copyright R. N. Taber 2010