Saturday, 12 May 2012

The Long Farewell

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

Years ago, when few people knew I am gay, a work colleague discovered this. He did not threaten to ‘out’ me but warned me that homosexuality is a waste of a life and I should bid  the Devil farewell before it was too late and saving my soul was no longer an option. His sincerity both impressed and appalled me. Moreover, it inspired (or provoked?) me to do just that…if not in the way he meant.

I finally bid a devil in me farewell that had prevented me from acknowledging to the world that I am gay. It suddenly struck me like a bolt of lightning what I had always known but somehow failed to quite grasp. Since I had no cause to be ashamed of the sexuality to which I was born, what did it matter what anyone else thought?

Even now, so many years later, I cannot believe I was so scared of people knowing I am gay. I guess it is down to all those early years when homosexual relationships were against the law here and, even worse, (or so I was told) an offence against humanity.

Perhaps if my family life hadn’t cowed me so, and I could not only have confided on them but relied on their support, things might have been different, but none of that matters now anyway. I did tell my mother in the end and she was supportive, but not so much that she couldn’t resist asking me to keep it a secret from family, friends, and neighbours.

Yes, I have regrets (don’t we all have our share, gay or straight?) but none greater than not having come out to everyone sooner than I did and saying farewell to that cold, dark closet once and for all.

At least, I was able to do this. In many countries, gay men and women still do not freedom of choice.  Here’s a BIG hug for all of you.

This poem is a villanelle.

THE LONG FAREWELL

My hell for years,
a gay kiss dared dispel;
farewell, my fears

A face that leers,
curled lip I know so well
(my hell for years)

Self-hatred’s tears
wiped clean by its spell;
farewell, my fears

Where guilt reveres
each wishing star that fell
(my hell for years)

To glory, love steers
over bigotry’s ocean swell;
farewell, my fears

Nature engineers
light where its darkness fell
(my hell for years);
farewell my fears

Copyright R. N. Taber 2010

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