Natural Instinct

tp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

Firstly, I'd like to say a BIG thank you to those readers who have said they enjoyed my poetry reading on the 4th plinth in Trafalgar Square in July 2009:

http://www.webarchive.org.uk/wayback/archive/20100223121732/oneandother.co.uk/participants/Roger_T [For now, at least, this link needs the latest Adobe Flash Player  and works best in Firefox; the archives website cannot run Flash but changes scheduled for later this year may well mean the link will open without it. Ignore any error message and give it a minute or so to start up. The video lasts an hour. ] RT 3/18

I have made  other recordings of some of my poems on my You Tube channel:

http://www.youtube.com/rogerNtaber

Meanwhile...

When we are raised to believe that our elders are our betters and know best, it can be hard to grasp that this is not necessarily true, that sometimes (even often) they can be wrong.

As a youth and young man, society made me feel ashamed of being gay. Then one day I thought, ‘No! I’ll be damned if I’m ashamed of who I am!”

I had found integrity and rediscovered self-esteem.

NATURAL INSTINCT

I stumbled on a country road,

bent double with my burden, a fear

of being attacked and robbed

for the flesh-coloured coat shame

would have me wear

I was warned to avoid highways

but keep to side road and dirt track,

by those I’d have trusted

with my life, now a marked outcast

for the coat on my back

I drifted, oh, so alone and lonely, 

harsh, spiteful, words for company

throbbing in my head

like tolling funeral bells denouncing

my awakening sexuality

I finally arrived at a crossroads, 

asked directions of a total stranger,

conveying (at first glance)

looks of a passionless death mask, 

yet no sense of danger

A steady gaze burned into me

with eyes brighter than a spring day,

striking sparks enough

to relight a fire in whose flames

I’d first read, ‘I'm Gay’

Grim lips parted, a sunny smile

that might once have been Apollo’s

lending the warm glow

of recognition to ages-old passions

stepping out of shadows

He gave me a hug, said to follow

and I did, till we came to a busy road

where I caught a bus back

the way I’d come, hugs pumping

a heart come in from the cold

No more playing safe in old haunts,

but as a newborn burst from the womb,

unafraid of dark forces seeking

to enslave me, badge of true identity

a statement of my freedom 

Let the bells toll, I’m in good company,

a hooting of horns applauding me

Copyright R. N. Taber 2011