Who's that Banging on the Closet Door...?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

Most if not all of us tell lies sometimes. Some (gay or straight) relationships are a lie. It is easy to get used to lies; they become like comfortable clothes we cannot face throwing away even though they are falling apart at the seams.

Lies are like creatures in a cage that deserve better. We are the cage. It is up to us whether we set them free or not. Meanwhile, who can look into a caged creature’s eyes and deny a longing to be free?

Regular readers will know how I feel about gay people who are not openly gay, for whatever reason. We must respect their decision and privacy. At the same time, I recall my own closet days, many years ago, and wonder how anyone can spend a lifetime living a lie so integral to their very identity.

Sometimes, of course, we fall victim to our own mixed emotions…but what of those other times? How can any family, person, culture, religion or society justify creating such cages? Oh, they will try, and sadly some will succeed.

As far as closet gay men and women are concerned, we can only hope more will, in time, open the cage and let its occupants go free, as nature intended. Better that, by far, than the rest of us be rounded up and returned to cages… as those touting a minority but growing political persuasion towards the Far Right would have it.

Better to be honest with and have faith in ourselves, surely, than pay lip service to convention simply because we are raised to think it has our best interests at heart? Sometime, yes, it does, Sometimes, though, it is more concerned with the best interests of others than ourselves.

It is down to each and every one of us to discern what's what, and rather than go with the flow for its own sake, to go where  mind, body and spirit will probably have been urging us for some time...and if that means going against some socio-cultural-religious tide, so be it. Gay or straight, we need to have faith in ourselves. After all, isn't that what the finer, humanitarian principles of all three are (or should be) all about.

Many gay people are scared of coming out to friends and family while others choose to stay closet for their own reasons. While the world needs to create a more welcoming climate for the former, we also need to respect the latter; 'outing' gay people is an unacceptable form of bullying.

WHO'S THAT BANGING ON THE CLOSET DOOR ...?

We saw a dragon at the local zoo

as tame as tame could be;

I swear it poked a tongue at you

and flashed a flame at me;

sad eyes glowing like balls of fire

raining down on us

like a shower of meteors

as we marvelled at its powerful jaws

and shiny scales

in various rainbow hues,

weaving fairy tales from distant lands

as we stood, sweaty hands

We didn’t go too near as you can

never be sure (even at a zoo)

that a dragon won’t get the better

of you, now wagging the tip

of a giant tail as if trying to say,

‘Come again another day...’

its belly rumbling a minor roar,

shaking every bar of its cage,

curling every page of our history,

scant regard for either magic

or mystery, driving home the cruelty

of our reality

Denial, self-images of a wannabe dragon
rattling its cage in desperation...

Copyright R. N. Taber 2002; 2013

[Note: This poem has been revised from an earlier version  that appears under the title 'Behind Bars' in First Person Plural by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2002.]