Today’s
poem was written in 2004 and appeared on the blog some time ago at the request
of ‘José’ for his partner Luis (both Catholics) who found it in my collection and enjoyed it. I
have since made some changes and tried out the revised version on both men who
have been in touch to say they approve and still love the poem. I can but
hope other readers will too.
Some years ago, I met a Spanish tourist in London who has to be the mst straight-acting gay guy I have ever met. If we hadn't started chatting in a well-known gay bar, I probably would not have chanced a second glance his way. Oh, but the
thrill of a holiday romance that would have us shedding inhibitions as sure as
sunshine after rain, inviting us to go with nature and…enjoy!
SPANISH
EYES or GAY ON THE COSTA DEL SOL
The rain
in Spain, it kept falling,
holiday
plans gone astray,
beaches all
but deserted, wicked blue sea
turned an
ugly grey by a killjoy sky,
summer waves
crashing around the ears,
bars
filling up with others like me,
alone,
trying local tequila till someone
taps me
on the shoulder
and I
find myself being sucked
into his
eyes, floundering
in his head,
in the flow of his blood,
adrenaline rising like a flood,
wondering
if there‘s an escape route
without (ever) really
wanting one
In a
stranger’s head, mulling home truths
I’d
confronted, but never dared
act upon
because it's not the English thing
to do,
going against the grain,
fancying
men while coming on to girls
with
macho pals, giving the lie
to
chat-up charms, longing to fall
into
another man’s arms,
feel his
kiss. Yes, just such a man as this,
now
asking if I’ll teach him English,
blue eyes
penetrating my last defences,
stripping
me naked, rescuing me
from a
closet childhood’s take on morality
to
(finally) go free, and be myself
Earth
Mother on cue, sun in a patch of blue
chasing
dark clouds away just for us
Copyright R. N. Taber 2004; 2013
[Note: An
earlier version of this poem appears in 1st eds. of The Third Eye, by R. N.
Taber, Assembly Books, 2004.]
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