Tuesday, 30 July 2013

Spanish Eyes OR Gay on the Costa Del Sol


Today’s poem was written in 2004 and appeared on the blog some time ago at the request of ‘José’ for his partner Luis (both Catholics) who found it in my collection and enjoyed it. I have since made some changes and tried out the revised version on both men who have been in touch to say they approve and still love the poem. I can but hope other readers will too.

Some years ago, I met a Spanish tourist in London who has to be the mst straight-acting gay guy I have ever met. If we hadn't started chatting in a well-known gay bar, I probably would not have chanced a second glance his way. Oh, but the thrill of a holiday romance that would have us shedding inhibitions as sure as sunshine after rain, inviting us to go with nature and…enjoy!

SPANISH EYES or GAY ON THE COSTA DEL SOL

The rain in Spain, it kept falling,
holiday plans gone astray,
beaches all but deserted, wicked blue sea
turned an ugly grey by a killjoy sky,
summer waves crashing around the ears,
bars filling up with others like me,
alone, trying local tequila till someone
taps me on the shoulder
and I find myself being sucked
into his eyes, floundering
in his head, in the flow of his blood,
adrenaline rising like a flood,
wondering if there‘s an escape route
without (ever) really wanting one

In a stranger’s head, mulling home truths
I’d confronted, but never dared
act upon because it's not the English thing
to do, going against the grain,
fancying men while coming on to girls
with macho pals, giving the lie
to chat-up charms, longing to fall
into another man’s arms,
feel his kiss. Yes, just such a man as this,
now asking if I’ll teach him English,
blue eyes penetrating my last defences,
stripping me naked, rescuing me
from a closet childhood’s take on morality
to (finally) go free, and be myself

Earth Mother on cue, sun in a patch of blue
chasing dark clouds away just for us

Copyright R. N. Taber 2004; 2013


[Note: An earlier version of this poem appears in 1st eds. of The Third Eye, by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2004.]

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