Getting it Together, a Moral Tale OR Upside Down, Come Right Side Up

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

As regular readers know, I was in the proverbial closet for some years, when attitudes towards LGBT people were largely ignorant, bigoted and intolerant to say the least. Eventually, I overcame all that, and told the world I'm gay; if the world didn't like it...too bad.

We have pro-LGBT legislation here int he UK, but homophobia remains as alive and kicking as ever; nor is being bisexual or transgender much easier than it has ever been.if only because you cannot legislate for human nature. Having a go at others because they are 'different' seems to be something of a blood sport for some people;did get  one of many reasons I steer well clear of social media. I am not afraid of trolls, but have better things to do than even have to think about them.

I have always posted the occasional gay-interest poem on both blogs, and my having done so with several poems lately seems to have gone down well with readers who - for whatever reason - only ever access one or the other; this poem, too will appear on both blogs. 

I guess we all need to get it together from time to time, and make decisions that will have a huge impact on our own lives as well as the lives of others. Sitting on the proverbial fence never did get anyone anywhere fast.

GETTING IT TOGETHER, A MORAL TALE or UPSIDE DOWN, COME RIGHT SIDE UP

Once, an Ordinary Joe
was in pieces, in a so-frantic town,
wanting to look a world
in the eye that was upside down;
try hard as O J might,
a growing self-consciousness
refused to put things right

Upside down worlds
make a mountain of everyday life,
its anti-heroes ever struggling
with the consequences of daily strife
reinforcing divisions,
disputing multiple points of view
on its politics and religions

Upside down mountains
offer no more than a distorted view
of some hellish landscape;
no beauty here, not so much as a clue
to the kinder intentions
of Earth Mother, last seen weeping
multiple carbon emissions

Woke up one morning
to a lark' song celebrating its freedom
of the skies, even with pit folk
so often assumed deaf, blind and dumb
to a right-side-up world
letting the worst of human nature
all but have the last word

Now, a new lease of life
for Earth Mother's messaging humanity,
ignored by the local bully
packing a knife, enjoying a notoriety
egging him on to stab someone,
only to end up on the receiving end
in some hellish prison

Better, by far than that, am I,
as human as any in the cold light of a day
that would deny me taking pride
in embracing a 'me' that's openly gay
as friend, mentor, lover ...
in a world that's finally come right-side-up
for my getting it together

Copyright R. N. Taber 2019

Closet Lives

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

Years ago, I had a fling with an Austrian guy called Günter. He was not openly gay in Germany, but enjoyed being so with me here in London. (I have lived in London 30+ years.)  We had a great time, seeing London - including a few gay bars, most of which have since closed down - and getting to know each other better.  The affair only lasted two weeks, and then he returned to Austria. We kept in touch for a while, but there was no Internet then and neither of us was good at writing letters. (Post-Internet generations are so lucky in as much as it is so easy to keep in touch with people by e-mail, even Instant Messaging.) 

I have often wondered if Günter ever took the plunge and came out to family and friends as he was very unhappy about not telling them. He asked me what I thought he should do, but I never give advice, only express an opinion. If he was unhappy, I said, he needed to do something about it. He agreed, but seemed doubtful so I often wonder…

It is a curious phenomenon, unhappiness; hard, near impossible to put aside, but can and needs to be superseded by a life focusing on sufficient satisfaction if not joy to keep it in the shade where it belongs. Like many trite sayings, there is much truth in ‘Where there’s a will, there’s a way.’ More often than not, the way is neither easy nor plain sailing, especially in the shorter term.

Whatever, it is always a good start, achieving peace of mind, in one sense if not another…and who knows what lies ahead?  Nor is it so different for gay people coming out of a dark, lonely, closet than for heterosexuals harbouring secrets they would prefer not to keep but fear the consequences of breaking their silence?  

Most if not all of us tell lies sometimes, but we are kidding ourselves to suggest it does no real harm. Oh, yes, we tell truths too.  The trouble is humankind tends to have different versions of each. Most lies - and just as many home truths - invariably hurt someone, somewhere. Better then to develop a greater affinity with truth, and be less judgemental even if it doesn't happen to coincide with our own version of it?

CLOSET LIVES 

Shadowy stalker,

haunting you day and night,

however hard you try

to put me out of your mind

with various distractions,

given that even the human spirit

(easy prey to convention)

sees me as a tough adversary,

never easily defeated

Whatever fine strategy

you may devise to put me down,

I come up with another,

and we lock horns, you trying

to beat me at my own game

while I play dirty, reminding you

of all you stand to lose

if you so choose to give the heart

its straining head

Yes, I play dirty, and well,

teasing inner selves with scenarios

that would have any victory 
of mine a petty, piecemeal affair 
compared any peace of mind

my silence offers, whose riptide 

ever closing in as you run

for cover, having known no better

than secrets and lies

Playing hide-and-seek in your space,

I am Conscience, its saving grace

Copyright R. N. Taber 2015

LGBT, a Global Consciousness

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

Not so long ago, someone  expressed genuine concern that I will go to hell for being gay and rejecting a ‘decent’ way of life.

The way I see it, we make our own hell here on earth if we so choose. As for any heaven…who knows?

As for LGBT men and women rejecting a decent way of life? Who says so? For a start, people who know no better.

If bigotry - in all its ugly shapes  and forms - is not weighing heavily not on the world's conscience, it damn well should be.

LGBT, A GLOBAL CONSCIOUSNESS

Some say there is no room for LGBT

men and women in a place some have chosen  

to call Heaven since no God would condone

the carnality enjoyed by the world’s gay men

and women. (Holy Books, manuals of spirituality,

inspiring judgement on homosexuality…?)

So who are they who rage against LGBT

neighbours brazenly ‘betraying’ a natural gender

to which we are born, love to pit humankind

against its own on the grounds of this culture,

that religion, claiming to fly with doves yet siding

with hawks? Blameless, just human…?

Voices, raging on against an LGBT ethos,

suggesting we can but rely on political correctness

to win the day (no hiding place for hypocrites);

raised voices proclaiming gay men and women

cannot be forgiven their awful ‘sinning’ in the face

of this convention, that culture or religion

Let them speak who claim to know how God

will have His way with men and women who are gay;

no matter who, all humankind deserves a voice

since each of us, gay folks too, blessed with choice

as to what we do, where we go, and how we interpret

Holy Books on peace and love

Too many voices competing with each other

to be heard, obeyed, believed honest, fair and good,

coining the rhetoric of this culture, that religion,

paying a piper to play the tune we all love to hear

who choose to be led by the nose through passages

of time, its corridors of power

Yet, body-mind-spirit offers its human host
no finer wisdom than access to the greater freedom

to be as it would be (not as others might see)

lending conscience and heart a rare peace and love

for an affinity with nature, discovering in its seasons,

a bitter-sweet raison d’être

Copyright R. N. Taber 2015; 2018

Love, a Mind of its Own

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

Several readers have challenged this poem since it first appeared in my collection in 2004, and then on the blog in 2008. That no one challenges gay love these days seems to be the general view expressed here in the UK. What can I say except…don’t believe it!

Frequently, I wonder if some readers read a word I write. One told me only recently that I ‘should get real about the 21st century and stop living in the past.’ Oh, how I wish!

True, life can be better for gay people than it has ever been, here in the West at least, but not every gay man or woman, girl or boy has the good fortune to be living in a gay-friendly home/school/work environment. (Yes, even here in the UK where a Bill proposing gay marriage is being openly debated at Government level.)

If you are gay and from a socio-cultural-religious background that does not accept gay relationships ...well, it’s not easy to break away from all that. Some people choose not to break away at all. Fair enough, given that everyone’s priorities are different and we should all accept that. On the same principle, though, it is high time socio-cultural-religious groups who remain essentially homophobic learned to respect the rights of we gay people to live get on with our lives according to our natural instincts, not any religious dogma as imposed - or interpreted as being imposed - by Holy Books.

Yes, it’s easy enough for me to say, an openly gay man albeit still haunted by closet years that made no small contribution to a severe nervous breakdown in my mid 30’s. Even so, those of us who are comfortable about being openly gay should always remember that it’s not the same for everyone. We still have a long way to go before being gay is socially and culturally acceptable worldwide. Nor should I have to remind people like me that homophobia is very much alive and kicking in the so-called ‘liberal-minded’ West if increasingly less so than in other countries, especially where religion is used as a stick to beat free spirits into toeing its line, invariably by those who enjoy doing so for its own sake rather than out of any respect for human nature.

Love, thank goodness, is up for just about any challenge far too many among the world’s less enlightened minds continue to throw its way. Religion, for its part, does not have a monopoly on spirituality, nor can any dogma claim sole rights over the human spirit; the latter is an Open House. Wherever gay people feel as intimate a connection with any religion (as I do with nature) their conscience is clear; since no one but no one has the right to deny them access; as for any human thought processes that would, on human conscience be it.

LOVE, A MIND OF ITS OWN

Fingertips teasing

the spine, hearts skipping beats

twin balls tickling my own

between velvet thighs, tongues

creeping from mouths

anxious not to appear eager

for a parrying of wills

star-crossed lovers have braved

since the world began

Find free will alive
and kicking among like minds

as to who should love whom,

for Love has a mind of its own,
prone to inspiring the heart
to kinder choices than any forces

brought to bear on the ear,
or raised voices honed on holy books
by self-styled betters

The mind presuming
to know best, ever prioritising  

concerns of its own

in which it (invariably) has shares

reckons without self-taught
skills of lovers choosing to defy
any rules written in the first stones

denying equal rights to the heart,

be it straight or gay

Copyright R. N. Taber 2004; 2019

[Note: An earlier version of this poem appears under the title 'A Challenge to Love' in The Third Eye by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2004.]