Whatever Happened to Fair Play?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

In many parts of the world and various home environments, more people are beginning to realise that our differences do not make us different, only human. Anyone advocating otherwise is simply exposing an ignorance we all have a responsibility to challenge; its is good to see more and more  people, especially young people - gay, straight and transgender - doing just that.

Tragically, there is still much prejudice, bigotry and uncompromising dogma written on tablets of stone that would deny gay men and women, boys and girls, every right to take their place in a common humanity; wherever this is the case, it is the latter found wanting, not a person’s sexuality.

This poem is a villanelle.

WHATEVER HAPPENED TO FAIR PLAY?

We’ll make time for us, just you and I,

where some (still) begrudge us the time of day,

but two among millions under the sky

Where old gods laugh, sing or even cry,

for free spirits like us with a mortgage to pay’

we’ll make time for us, just you and I

No matter any dogma raising hue and cry,

fair play demands we live and let live, do or die,

but two among millions under the sky

Where same sex relationships proving the lie

to all that bigots worldwide may well have to say,

we’ll make time for us, just you and I

Ordinary people in love, nor a need to ask why,

it just so happens the nature of our true love is gay,

but two among millions under the sky

Though race, creed, culture always having a say,

the human spirit can be trusted to find its own way;

we’ll make time for us, just you and I,

but two among millions under the sky

Copyright R. N. Taber 2019

When All's Said and Done OR L-o-v-e-, (Human) Rights of Way

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

This post/poem is repeated on my general blog.

Ignorance is a darkness from which we can only hope to be rescued by the dawning of enlightenment’ the irony being, that relatively few of us recognize ignorance when it is staring us in the face so will not accept that they need rescuing. My parents were of a generation brought up to believe the worst of same sex relationships, and passed these stereotypical sentiments on to me. I, hated the closet darkness imposed, but lacked a mentor to show me that these sentiments were simply untrue and I had no need to feel ashamed because I am gay. The dawn of enlightenment was a long time coming for me, and I did not come out to the world as a gay man until my mid-thirties.

The Department of Education here has finally seen the light too, and any school curriculum (from 2020) will need to include LGBT issues in a sensitive but realistic context of teaching education, even at primary school level. I would hate any child to go through what I went through so I applaud this step in the right direction. Sadly, many parents are demonstrating against this, at various school gates, on religious grounds.

One parent recently put it to me that it was wrong to put ideas into the heads of children “as young as five, for heaven’s sake!” My answer to that was “Never underestimate a child’s feelings or assume, as a parent, you know all you need to know about your own child. Even at 5 years-old, I loved dressing up and pretending I was a fairy or princess in a fairy tale. No, I did not grow up to be transgender, but I was - albeit unknowingly – touching base with sexuality; getting in touch with my feminine side would eventually help me understand that sexuality is not the prerogative of heterosexuals and, in time, would see me emerge as a gay man. The parent in question, insisted “that’s all very well, and I’m no homophobe, but what is a young child to make of being read stories around gender orientation or same sex relationships?”

I know lesbian and gay partners who have adopted children, not least to give them a loving, caring upbringing as opposed to the well-meaning but necessarily detached atmosphere of a Children’s Home. These children will go to school. One of the wonderful things about children is that they are entirely without prejudice…unless it has been passed on to them in the home. It is perfectly feasible that a five-year old with two mums or dads will be mixing with and chatting away with other children; the latter may well be fascinated, even excited to discover that such home situations exist. How sad then that ignorant parents are likely break up such friendships without giving them a chance to flourish. Some of my best childhood memories are of children with whom I used to play, including those from the only black family in our street; any adult prejudices simply went over our heads.

LGBT relationships have existed in societies worldwide since the beginning of time, albeit often behind closed doors; human nature, like nature itself, is – and deserves to be – an open door through which anyone is free to enter, regardless of culture, religion, ethnicity or sexuality.

‘How did it happen that their lips came together? How does it happen that birds sing, that snow melts, that the rose unfolds, that the dawn whitens behind the stark shapes of trees on the quivering summit of the hill? A kiss, and all was said. - ‘Victor Hugo (Les Miserables,1862)

“Veil after veil of thin dusky gauze is lifted, and by degrees the forms and colours of things are restored to them, and we watch the dawn remaking the world in its antique pattern.” 
- Oscar Wilde (The Picture of Dorian Gray. 1890)

This poem is a villanelle.

WHEN ALL’S SAID AND DONE or  L-O-V-E, (HUMAN) RIGHTS OF WAY

Home truths will have their say,

make themselves known,

enlighten us, come dawn of day

Where prejudices holding sway

in the name of (any) religion,

home truths will have their say

Listen, play deaf, come what may,

history will see its tides turn

enlighten us, come dawn of day

No God to whom Believers pray

would have cast the first stone;

home truths will have their say

Human rights, too, deserve a say,

to make themselves known,

enlighten us, come dawn of day

A God of Love has love hold sway

wherever its seeds be sown;

home truths will have their say,

enlighten us, come dawn of day

Copyright R. N. Taber, 2019

Gay in Japan OR Rainbows over Tokyo

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

A reader from Japan has encouraging news for those of us continuing to fight hate crime and socio-cultural hostility worldwide, not to mention hate crime and aggressive legal/political opposition in some countries; while we in the western world are not immune to either, - especially in areas where certain immigrant groups express strong opposition from a one cultural perspective or another

Japan's culture and major religions do not have a history of hostility towards homosexuality. A majority of Japanese citizens are reportedly in favour of accepting homosexuality; a 2013 poll indicated that 54 percent agreed that homosexuality should be accepted by society, while 36 percent disagreed, with a large age gap.

Apparently, Japan has no laws against homosexual activity and has some legal protections for gay people; there is also some legal protection for transgender individuals. Consensual sex between adults of the same sex is legal, but some prefectures set the age of consent for same-sex sexual activity higher than for opposite-sex sexual activity.

While civil rights laws do not extend to protection from discrimination based on sexual orientation, some governments have enacted such laws. The government of Tokyo has passed laws that ban discrimination in employment based on sexual identity. Despite recommendations from the Council for Human Rights Promotion, the major political parties express little public support for LGBT rights. Some political figures, however, have spoken publicly about their being gay. Kanako Otsuji, an assemblywoman from Osaka, came out as a lesbian in 2005. Two years earlier, in 2003, Aya Kamikawa became the first openly transgender person elected official in Tokyo.

While same-sex marriage is not legalised at the national level, the Shibuya District in Tokyo passed a same-sex partnership certificate bill in 2015 to "issue certificates to same-sex couples that recognize them as partners equivalent to those married under the law."

GAY IN JAPAN or RAINBOWS OVER TOKYO 

Came LGBT, its first laurels to lay

(at Yanagi, Shimbashi, after the war)

respite from life’s cares of the day

Subsequently, it was good to be gay

(no one banging on some closet door);

came LGBT, its first laurels to lay

Colour, that dark skies kept at bay

(where the world’s tears gone before);

respite from life's cares of the day

LGBT rainbows were here to stay

(no world-imposing shame any more);

came LGBT, its first laurels to lay

Stage set for others to win the day

(wherever dogma’s worst sure to score)

respite from life’s cares of the day

Here, LGBT given the voice to say

“Pax” on any calls for its guts and gore;

came LGBT, its first laurels to lay,

respite from life’s cares of the day

Copyright R. N. Taber 2019

Homing in on The 'I' in Diversity OR Gay in Ghana

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

Now and again, readers from Ghana appear among Google statistics relating to my gay-interest poetry as well as its general counterpart. Comments cannot be viewed although I always reply to any left in the Comments Box if people care to include an email address; understandably readers from those countries where gay relationships remain a criminal offence rarely do so. Some readers contact me at my home e-address [rogertab@aol.com] and ‘Poetry’ in the subject field guarantees a reply if clearly not spam.

I am in my 70's now, but well recall meeting a young man from Ghana in a local gay bar here in London UK some years ago; we were drawn to each other, although not sexually, and enjoyed a long chat. He left with someone else, but paused to give me a hug before disappearing from my life if not my memory. He was, he told me, feeling suffocated at home in Ghana, having to act a part he neither related to and hated, but felt he had no choice. As I had been in much the same situation here in the UK at his age, we had a lot in common, and hopefully his life, as mine (eventually) did, has worked out all the better for him; he may still need to act a part in the world’s eye, but hopefully he can be himself as time, place, people and circumstances permit.

Doesn't everyone deserve the basic Human Right, to be themselves?

This poem is a villanelle.

HOMING IN ON THE 'I' IN DIVERSITY or GAY IN GHANA

For years I kept home truths at bay,

even tried to make out I was straight

too scared to tell the world I’m gay

I met an old friend in Accra one day,

only to find myself engaging with fate

(for years I kept home truths at bay)

We went to a bar, and stayed all day,

catching up, as you would with a mate,

too scared to tell the world I’m gay

I liked him more than I had dared say,

even envied pretty girls he used to date

(for years I kept home truths at bay)

That day, I let the pito have its way,

yet, close as I came to flirting with fate,

too scared to tell the world I'm gay

His knowing grin gave the game away,

our body language talking love, no hate;

for years I kept home truths at bay

too scared to tell the world I’m gay

Copyright R. N. Taber 2019

Note: My friend Graham is visiting Ghana in October. You may like some of his his videos over which I read poems: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSdhLgPQOsng2Xz8n5m0ViQ  OR simply enter 'Roger Taber You Tube' in any browser. Unfortunately, I cannot accompany him as I have serious health problems, although, as always, I continue to look on the bright(er) side of life.

Making Good Time

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

Update June 11th 2019]: A reader, Max, who regularly emails me and appears to enjoy all three blogs, has kindly said  he misses my Google + site since Google recently deleted personal G+ sites, but goes on to say “Whenever I find a poem I really like, I make a note of any search words or phrases in the labels column and use them to find more poems …” Well, thank you Max, and I'm sure some readers will find the tip useful and time-saving. For the record, search words and phrases include: communication, culture, death, dreams, guilt, innocence, history, human nature, human spirit, imagination, love, mind-body-spirit, memory, mortality, nature, past-present-future, personal space, posthumous consciousness, prejudice, religion, relationships, sexuality, society, and time... among others. [Another reader has asked why I often hyphenate several nouns to imply they are one; it's because I see them as inseparable one from the other, a continuum in which we human beings are pivotal, for better or worse...]

Meanwhile...

As regular readers will know, I stayed in the proverbial closet for years; well, it was real enough, and I was in and out of it for years although few people were in the know; the stress was excruciating. A nervous breakdown in the late 1970’s, awful experience though it was, came as no surprise to the few, least of all to me. Mental illness can be a messy affair and mine was no exception. I even attempted suicide, remained unconscious for a good thirty-five hours and escaped death by a whisker, thanks to the efforts of hospital staff and staff at my nearby local surgery where I managed to stagger before passing out. It was a wake-up call and the next few years found me re-appraising mind-body-spirit, warts ‘n’ all.

I was forty-one years old before I finally Came Out to stay; incredible, and not a little sad given that I’d known I was gay from the age of fourteen. My only excuse is cowardice; homosexuality was not well received just about anywhere in the UK throughout the 1950’s - 1990’s, and even now among some families, peers and communities. Old stigma die hard where human nature is concerned.

The evening prior to my finally Coming Out to the world, at work as it so happened, I confided in an old friend who had known about my sexuality for years, being one of my earliest encounters with that species of heterosexual who was confident enough in his own sexuality not to give a damn about anyone else’s. I explained that I felt a pressing need to  come out of that awful closet, but continued to doubt the wisdom of it; it was the early days of Equal Opportunities, but the fickle public was still divided on the issue and various socio-cultural-religious influences prevailed for the most part, as I suspect they still do albeit less obviously so than in certain other countries.

 “Let me put it this way,” said my friend,” Fools may well rush in where angels fear to tread, but do you really want to side with angels or are you saying to yourself, to hell with all that, I just want to be ME, and if that’s a fool’s game I’ll make damn sure I have the time of my life playing it …”

Needless to say, I had already made my choice, just needed someone to spell it out for me. Moreover, I suspect that moment in time is also when I finally, and consciously turned my back on religion to embrace not only nature, but the kinder, more discerning side of human nature as well.

This poem is a villanelle.

MAKING GOOD TIME

We’ll make time for us, just you and I,
where some (still) refuse us the time of day,
but two among millions under the sky

But two among millions under the sky,
wannabe free spirits with a mortgage to pay,
loving life by living for love till we die

We’ll make time for us, just you and I
to live, let live, letting love light up every day,
no matter any dogma raising hue and cry

But two among millions under the sky,
an ordinary couple, contrary to what bigots say
(that same sex relationships prove the lie)

We’ll make time for us, just you and I,
despite needs must discreetly since we’re gay,
and it may (still) matter to passers-by

Hear race, creed, culture having their say,
only, trust the human spirit to find its own way;
we’ll make time for us, just you and I,
but two among millions under the sky


Copyright R N Taber 2019

Tuning into Nature

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

A reader has asked why I often hyphenate several nouns to imply they are one; for example,  mind-body-spirit, past-present-future. It is because I see them as inseparable one from the other, a continuum in which we human beings are pivotal, for better, for worse ...

Someone else has contacted me with a very uplifting story which he suggests I may like to record as a poem. Well, always up for a challenge, me, and I hope you will enjoy the poem below. It appears this reader belongs to a culture that is not gay-friendly, to say the least. He came out to family and friends a few years ago when he met his first love. Sadly, many of the former rejected him for it. After a few years, the relationship ended, not least due to the reader's being estranged from most family members and friends. In recent years, though, he has found love again with another man. By now, it appears many who previously rejected him have come to terms with and are reconciled to his being gay.

The reader writes, “It is wonderful that my new partner and I can enjoy an almost normal life among those we love, although not everyone. We cannot pray as we would like, my partner and I, but prayer does not need four walls, neither does whatever divinity with whom we identify as God … Your poems are very clear on this, and we are grateful for your support even though you are not a religious person …” He goes on to ask  that “poem or no poem” I bring his story to the attention of readers on both blogs on the grounds that “ … too many people reject gays because they do not understand us and it is human nature to be wary of what we do not understand …” (So, true!)

So, here we go, with a poem I plan to post on my general blog tomorrow. I do post gay-interest poems there from time to time although feedback - and audience figures - suggests they are not well received by the majority of readers. Feedback also suggests that relatively few readers of this blog often dip into my general poetry blog, which I find very sad. After all  - as I have said before on the blogs, and probably will again -  a poem is a poem is a poem just as a person is a person is a person, regardless of gender or socio-cultural-religious persuasion.

“When you reach the end of what you should know, you will be at the beginning of what you should sense.” ― Kahlil Gibrán, Sand and Foam

" Your head is a living forest full of songbirds." - e.e.Cummings

TUNING IN TO NATURE

Trying the door, but it slams

in my face as if to say I’ve no right

to enter here, where you are,

no matter if pulse and heartbeat set

on breaking the record

for breaking the time barrier

in the wink of an eye,

catching yours on a late tube train,

devil take the hindmost

Curtains at the window closed,

shutting me out, a cold wind siding

with you against me,

pulse racing, heart beating faster,

and faster, like competitors

in a race, running for running’s sake,

doesn’t matter where or why

nor that blue skies are poised to fall

at destination Endgame 

Shut out, yelling to be let in,

pulse and heartbeat at fever pitch,

a voice ringing in my ears,

telling me to ease up, enjoy the sun

on my face, wind in my hair,

embrace nature and human nature

just as we’d embrace each other

in a home we made with loving care,

meant to stay open all hours

Turning away, tears falling

like acid rain, somewhere a bird

trying to tell me I’ll love again,

not what I wanted or needed to hear,

after a gay love affair ended

and brought me low, but brought

here today, all the more 

happy-proud for having (eventually)

taken a songbird at its word

Copyright R. N. Taber 2019

Ditching the Glitch

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

Being a closet gay person is not only sexually frustrating, it can (and often does) affect our mental health. I, for one, suffered a BAD nervous breakdown 40 years ago that resulted in a (fortunately) botched suicide attempt.

Much as we may be in denial, anything that affects our mental wellbeing is likely to have detrimental effect on all aspects of our everyday life. Oh, closet gays appear to function as well as anyone, but we are fooling ourselves. Looking back, I see now that moving from place to place, job to job, unable to settle at anything or with anyone for long prior to my breakdown was directly linked to my being unable to confront my sexuality, embrace it and be openly gay for all manner of reasons. (Okay, excuses if you like.) It wasn’t being gay that was to blame for a long line of mistakes I made until my mid-30’s, but being stuck in that damn closet.

Once I flung open the closet door, everything changed, not always for the better (Well, that’s life) but at least I was now running the show, master of my destiny, not some puppet on a string being manipulated by a flawed mindset that I saw was flawed but could not bring myself to face those flaws head-on. Now, the homophobic and bigoted folks among us, in all walks of life, argue that the greater flaw is being gay. More fool me for being duped during gay-unfriendly formative years into believing that was true.

As it happens, I never met the man of my dreams a second time after my one-and-only died abroad after but a short time together. Even so, since coming out, I have enjoyed sexual encounters all the more for my being honest with myself about them. Besides, love comes in all shapes and forms and is no more dependent on sex than it is answerable to either culture or religion. Love, has a mind of its own, and no one but no one should ever feel ashamed of it, whatever others might say; if it feels right, it is right. Nor should anyone feel that their sexuality puts them at odds with whatever religion they choose to follow. I may not be a religious person, but religion is meant to be about peace and love, right?  I defy anyone to tell me that a God of Love could conceivably be homophobic.

DITCHING THE GLITCH

I make decisions every day,
some good, some bad,

although the latter might easily

have gone the other way

but for a glitch in the works insisting

on having its say,

the more fool, me, for listening

instead of to reservations expressed

by a closet alter ego

I nurture opinions every day,

for better, for worse

although the latter might easily

have gone the other way

but for a Glitch in the works insisting

on having its say,
the more fool, me, for listening

instead of to reservations expressed

by a closet alter ego

I make judgements every day,

some good, some bad,

although the latter might easily

have gone the other way,

but for a Glitch in the works insisting

on having its say,

the more fool, me, for listening

instead of to reservations expressed

by a closet alter ego

Gay lovers have come my way,

for better, for worse,

although the latter might easily

have gone the other way,

but for a glitch in the works insisting

on having its say,
the more fool, me, for listening

instead of to reservations expressed

by a closet alter ego

I met a man (seems like yesterday)

for better, for worse,

although the former might easily

have gone the other way

but for an alter ego on my side insisting

on having its say,

and the wiser, me, for listening

instead of to reservations expressed

by a glitch in the works

Copyright R N Taber 2019