http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber
I have been asked again to post the link to my poetry reading on the 4th plinth in London's Trafalgar Square as my contribution to Sir Antony Gormley's One and Other 'live sculpture' project that ran for 24/4 over 2,400 hours during the summer of 2009; 2,400 people were randomly selected to do their 'own thing' for one hour, and the resulting web-stream was archived in the British Library: I read a selection of gay-interest and other poems. However, the British Library have since confirmed (Sept 2019) that the plinth reading in is no longer available as the video is incompatible with an updated IT system. However, I am assured that the video still exists, and B L hope to make it available to the public again one day. Fingers crossed, and watch this space.] RNT
http://www.webarchive.org.uk/wayback/archive/20100223121732/oneandother.co.uk/participants/Roger_T
Meanwhile ...
Now, I am never didactic in my poetry. I simply offer food for thought. Today's poem is on a subject about which I feel very strongly.
I have talked to so many people - gay and straight alike - who are sexually active and not in a steady relationship (or are, but continue to cruise for sex elsewhere) yet are either complacent or even dismissive about safer sex. Some seem to think that a condom eliminates risk altogether. Well, condoms can leak and while there is low risk sex, there is no such thing as no-risk sex.
Now, I have always practised what encourage others to do. I am not sexually active these days but when I was younger, I’d always have an HIV-AIDS test if I’d had unprotected sex (or not) for whatever reason (often drunk) or with someone about whom I had any suspicions in the cold light of day. Why? Well, for two reasons. For a start, I wanted to know if I was clear for my own sake. (How can you take better care of your body if you are HIV+ and don’t know it?) Just as important, I needed to know for the sake of anyone else with whom I had sex. They deserved a choice, surely?
There is medication available now that means people can live for many years with the HIV+ virus; it is not the death sentence it used to be. Even so, there is no cure and we can but hope one will be found before too many years have passed and millions more people infected. In many people’s mind, though, there is still a stigma attached to being HIV+. It is high time they got real and accepted that HIV+ is with us to stay and anyone can catch it. At the same time, it is not easy to catch. Even so if a test proves positive, we simply have to live with it and reconsider our sexual behaviour. (It does not mean we need to give up on sex!) I’ve had sex with men who were HIV+ and remain clear, even after all these years. Once, a boyfriend woke me up in tears at about 3.00 am to tell me he had AIDS. I comforted him and, a few days later, went to have a test … to be sure I was okay even though I had used a condom.
Many people - especially young people, gay and straight alike - are far too complacent about sex. I guess, when we’re young, we think we will live forever and don’t think about growing old, let alone dying! But that’s no excuse for not making sure we remain in as good a shape as possible, not just for ourselves but for the sake of friends, loved ones, even our careers. As I said, HIV+ is not the death sentence it used to be. There is lots of support and counselling available for people who may panic and/or have no idea how to cope if told they are positive.
There are specialist centres available where friendly, trained, non-judgemental staff will do a test and tell you the results within half an hour or so. If the results are positive, they will provide information about sources of support, including HIV-AIDS support groups. The Internet, too, is a treasure house of information.
I should perhaps add that, only recently, I have met older men in my own age group who are promiscuous but take the view that it doesn’t matter if they become infected with the HIV virus at our age. How selfish and ignorant can those people be, eh?
SEX, SENSE, AND SENSIBILITY
Didn’t test to see if I was HIV positive,
I was scared,
then my lover asked me outright
and I lied …
thinking I wasn’t really lying, believed
I was okay
but the lie began to haunt me more
each night and day,
especially when in my arms he lay
his body in my trust
I should find out, I thought, I must
have a test,
I can’t go on pretending like this
even as we kiss
that there’s no virus in me I can pass on
(as if I would)
but I cannot answer for the unknown,
need to find out,
be worthy of his love and trust
or we’ll never last
Eventually, I had the test, it was negative,
I was relieved,
then I asked my lover outright
and he cried...
swore he hadn’t known when we first met
but discovered since,
too scared to tell me in case I got angry
(as I’d been he might reject me)
so what could I do but hold him near
plant kisses in his hair?
Yes, we’ve had the test, my love and me,
it set us free
from doubt and fear because, together,
we are strong,
can deal with whatever this life
dishes us…
beats treading on our dreams, left alone
and up against it;
above all its blessings, place trust
or love will fail the test
Copyright R N Taber 2010, rev..2020
[Note: This poem first appears under the title 'The Test' in On the Battlefields of Love by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2010]
I have been asked again to post the link to my poetry reading on the 4th plinth in London's Trafalgar Square as my contribution to Sir Antony Gormley's One and Other 'live sculpture' project that ran for 24/4 over 2,400 hours during the summer of 2009; 2,400 people were randomly selected to do their 'own thing' for one hour, and the resulting web-stream was archived in the British Library: I read a selection of gay-interest and other poems. However, the British Library have since confirmed (Sept 2019) that the plinth reading in is no longer available as the video is incompatible with an updated IT system. However, I am assured that the video still exists, and B L hope to make it available to the public again one day. Fingers crossed, and watch this space.] RNT
http://www.webarchive.org.uk/wayback/archive/20100223121732/oneandother.co.uk/participants/Roger_T
Meanwhile ...
Now, I am never didactic in my poetry. I simply offer food for thought. Today's poem is on a subject about which I feel very strongly.
I have talked to so many people - gay and straight alike - who are sexually active and not in a steady relationship (or are, but continue to cruise for sex elsewhere) yet are either complacent or even dismissive about safer sex. Some seem to think that a condom eliminates risk altogether. Well, condoms can leak and while there is low risk sex, there is no such thing as no-risk sex.
Now, I have always practised what encourage others to do. I am not sexually active these days but when I was younger, I’d always have an HIV-AIDS test if I’d had unprotected sex (or not) for whatever reason (often drunk) or with someone about whom I had any suspicions in the cold light of day. Why? Well, for two reasons. For a start, I wanted to know if I was clear for my own sake. (How can you take better care of your body if you are HIV+ and don’t know it?) Just as important, I needed to know for the sake of anyone else with whom I had sex. They deserved a choice, surely?
There is medication available now that means people can live for many years with the HIV+ virus; it is not the death sentence it used to be. Even so, there is no cure and we can but hope one will be found before too many years have passed and millions more people infected. In many people’s mind, though, there is still a stigma attached to being HIV+. It is high time they got real and accepted that HIV+ is with us to stay and anyone can catch it. At the same time, it is not easy to catch. Even so if a test proves positive, we simply have to live with it and reconsider our sexual behaviour. (It does not mean we need to give up on sex!) I’ve had sex with men who were HIV+ and remain clear, even after all these years. Once, a boyfriend woke me up in tears at about 3.00 am to tell me he had AIDS. I comforted him and, a few days later, went to have a test … to be sure I was okay even though I had used a condom.
Many people - especially young people, gay and straight alike - are far too complacent about sex. I guess, when we’re young, we think we will live forever and don’t think about growing old, let alone dying! But that’s no excuse for not making sure we remain in as good a shape as possible, not just for ourselves but for the sake of friends, loved ones, even our careers. As I said, HIV+ is not the death sentence it used to be. There is lots of support and counselling available for people who may panic and/or have no idea how to cope if told they are positive.
There are specialist centres available where friendly, trained, non-judgemental staff will do a test and tell you the results within half an hour or so. If the results are positive, they will provide information about sources of support, including HIV-AIDS support groups. The Internet, too, is a treasure house of information.
I should perhaps add that, only recently, I have met older men in my own age group who are promiscuous but take the view that it doesn’t matter if they become infected with the HIV virus at our age. How selfish and ignorant can those people be, eh?
SEX, SENSE, AND SENSIBILITY
Didn’t test to see if I was HIV positive,
I was scared,
then my lover asked me outright
and I lied …
thinking I wasn’t really lying, believed
I was okay
but the lie began to haunt me more
each night and day,
especially when in my arms he lay
his body in my trust
I should find out, I thought, I must
have a test,
I can’t go on pretending like this
even as we kiss
that there’s no virus in me I can pass on
(as if I would)
but I cannot answer for the unknown,
need to find out,
be worthy of his love and trust
or we’ll never last
Eventually, I had the test, it was negative,
I was relieved,
then I asked my lover outright
and he cried...
swore he hadn’t known when we first met
but discovered since,
too scared to tell me in case I got angry
(as I’d been he might reject me)
so what could I do but hold him near
plant kisses in his hair?
Yes, we’ve had the test, my love and me,
it set us free
from doubt and fear because, together,
we are strong,
can deal with whatever this life
dishes us…
beats treading on our dreams, left alone
and up against it;
above all its blessings, place trust
or love will fail the test
Copyright R N Taber 2010, rev..2020
[Note: This poem first appears under the title 'The Test' in On the Battlefields of Love by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2010]
