Predator,Invisible Enemy

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

Gay or straight, there is no room for complacency regarding HIV-AIDS. We all owe it to ourselves and any potential sex partners to be responsible about sex and use a condom.

It might help if HIV-AIDS were not still something of a taboo subject with many people...

Education has to be the key to raise HIV-AIDS Awareness, in which context I wholeheartedly support organisations like DAMSET whose volunteers created a mural for people who have died of AIDS across Dorset; it involved going into schools and talking about HIV-AIDS. The tiles on the mural were designed by schoolchildren.

I would love to see similar projects worldwide:

http://damset.co.uk/

[See also:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cKzi9VRjuq0 on my You Tube channel OR search for 'Autobiography of a Beach' on the blog where the video accompanying it is also available.)

PREDATOR, INVISIBLE ENEMY

I have no need to look far for prey,

just follow footprints in the clay

where careless minds feed on a heat

in the blood as if it were for water,

rice or bread, answer to an everyday

need; no problem for a seasoned

tracker such as I, descending upon

bodies nursing what surely has to be

the world’s worst inhumanity

Unable to tell where my axe will fall,

some convince themselves I am

no real threat at all, rather something

akin to a bogeyman, hardly a figment

of the imagination but best consigned

to a cosy corner of a mind less likely

consider why so many get so careless

in the first place. Besides, who wants

to look a bogeyman in the face?

Men, women and children cannot run

from me unless privy to such ways

of the world even I cannot pin down,

kill slowly or, for a while at least,

subject to slavery; every act, thought,

bought with their sweat and tears,

save for those who have the measure

of my intention and can readily access

the means of best protection

In the blood, tracking footprints any size,

I, the predator, who am HIV-AIDS

[From: On The Battlefields Of Love by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2010]

Carriers

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

[Update, Sept 19, 2019: Today, the British Library confirmed that the link blow to the 4th plinth reading in 1999 is no longer available as the video is incompatible with an updated IT system. However, I am assured that the video still exists, and B L hope to make it available to the public again one day. Fingers crossed, and watch this space.] RNT

http://www.webarchive.org.uk/wayback/archive/20100223121732/oneandother.co.uk/participants/Roger_T [I am always being asked for this link to my poery reading on the 4th plinth in Trafalgar Square, my contribution to sculptor Antony Gormley's One and Other 'live' sculpture during the summer of 1999. For now, at least, this link needs the latest Adobe Flash Player  and works best in Firefox; the archives website cannot run Flash but changes scheduled for later this year may well mean the link will open without it. Ignore any error message and give it a minute or so to start up. The video lasts an hour. ] RT 3/18

This post is duplicated on both blogs today for obvious reasons.

Now, most feedback from readers is very positive, but every now and then someone complains. A reader has been in touch to say ‘Posting gay poetry on the Internet, to which young people have ready access, is not only inappropriate but also a corrupting influence.’ While I disagree (of course) he or she is welcome to their point of view.

Does the average heterosexual really think there are no young gay people out there, I wonder?  I was young once, even if it is more long ago than I care to remember.

What do you think? You might even want to comment on the British Library site where both blogs are listed as part of a project to archive on-line material alongside the printed word? Is it worth archiving a poetry blog, especially one that encourages gay people world-wide to feel good about their sexuality and promotes Gay Awareness?

Go to: http://www.webarchive.org.uk/ukwa/advancedsearch

and carry out a URL (or title) search for:

http://aspectsofagaymanslifeinverse.blogspot.com/ (G-A-Y in the Subject Field)]#

http://rogertab.blogspot.com// (A Poet’s Blog)

Meanwhile...

Hopefully, readers who complain that I rely too heavily on rhyme and should write more blank verse will appreciate the form of today’s poem as well as its content.

If any of you use a datebook, you might also care to click on the link below; it will take you to Scars Publications (USA) who have published a number of my blank verse poems over a period of some 10 years. They tend to only publish blank verse so keep me on my toes and lure me away from rhyme now and then.

http://scars.tv/

Click on their Scars Publications 2012 Poetry Datebook and you will see what it's all about. They have accepted the poem below for inclusion; it will appear on the entry for World AIDS Day, Dec 1st 2012. (I deliberately did not make it a gay-interest poem. It is high time people stopped thinking of HIV-AIDS as The Gay Plague!!)

OVERHEARD ON A TRAIN:

WOMAN: It takes a real man to be sexually responsible.

MAN: It takes a real woman to insist a man is sexually responsible.

ME (thinks): It takes real maturity to say ‘no’ to unprotected sex.

Oh, yes, and it takes a clear-headed person to take sexual responsibility on board so let’s not get so drunk or high we lose the plot, okay?

Now, regular readers will know I am passionate about DAMSET, an HIV-AIDS Educational Trust based in the seaside town of Bournemouth that has set a wonderful example to the rest of the world by creating a memorial mural to all those - gay and straight - who have died of AIDS across Dorset. I was unable to attend the inauguration last December, appropriately on World AIDS Day, but feel very privileged that a poem I wrote for the project has been included in the mural. [I included in my reading on the 4th plinth in Trafalgar Square in July 2009; see link at the top of this page.]

Visitors to Bournemouth for years to come will be able to see the mural for themselves near the pier entrance. It is a wonderful way to remember people and also promote Gay Awareness as well as sexual responsibility.

For more information about DAMSET see: http://damset.co.uk/

Straight or gay, many people (especially young people) seem to think HIV-AIDS is little more than a scare story and does not concern them...until it becomes the story of their life.

Have fun but...be careful out there, yeah? Play safe. Otherwise you not only risk catching the virus yourself but giving it to others. Either way, it’s plain irresponsible.

CARRIERS

I should have had the test,
never thought it could happen
to couples like us

Now we have to tell people
(who’ll think the worst of me)
we are HIV positive

I’m just an Ordinary Joe,
struggling to pay off a mortgage
and still have a life;
I love to party (who doesn’t?)
and, yes, there were a few times
I dropped my guard,
forgot low risk doesn’t mean
there’s no risk...

I even thought it was macho
to shrug off those scare stories
we all hear about

Drugs may control the virus,
but it’s down to me we’ll carry it
to our (early?) graves

Copyright R. N. Taber, 2011

[Note: This poem first appeared in print in Scars Poetry Date Book, Scars Publications (US) 2012 and in my collection, Tracking the Torchbearer by R N Taber, Assembly Books later the same year.]

Among Predators And Prey

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

A UK reader has contacted me to say he does not have a computer at home and accesses the Internet at his local public library. However, the library computers do not allow access to blogs. As he has enjoyed dipping into the blog at a friend’s house, do I have any suggestions? Well, only one. Both my blogs are participating in a UK Web Archive project operated by the British Library.

Try http://www.webarchive.org.uk// and go into ‘Search the archive’ (left had panel on the screen) and enter ‘G-AY in the Subject Field’ or ‘A Poet’s Blog’ and the blog you are looking for should appear. I should add that it is very interesting just to browse the archive for other blogs and websites.

Meanwhile...

Straight people often ask if I wish I wasn’t gay. What can I say? [Do I wish I wasn’t born, for goodness sake?] They also put it to me that it’s risky, what with there being so many homophobes about and religious zealots who seem to think their God would condone the persecution (and worse) of gay people. What can I say? [Should I be afraid to be as nature made me or, in their terms, how God made me?] I am a person, not a stereotype; no more or less so than anyone else, regardless of socio-cultural-religious or, yes, sexual persuasion. Human nature comprises many parts; more often than not, it is the sum of those parts in any of us that really counts. More often than not, too, it is unfair to cherry-pick this or that part and proceed to judge a person accordingly.

Love, in all its shapes and forms has always walked among among predators and prey; there will always be those who criticise, even condemn certain human relationships from the kind of narrow perspective on life expounded by various dogma and/ or prejudices. The trick is being able to do what comes as naturally as breathing to all creatures great and small...practise the art of survival ... on our terms, not theirs. As for those arrogant, bigoted, evangelical types who seek to gain favour with their God by calling for homosexuals and other LGBT folks to be either cured, saved or eliminated ... for the sinners we are and responsible for the spread of HIV-AIDS ...well,  if it is a 'gay plague' it is human one, and we should not rush to cherry-pick responsibility for that either.

God - however we interpret the word, religion or no religion - is Love, and love has no time for homophobia or any other sick prejudices.

AMONG PREDATORS AND PREY

Walking, my love and I, down urban
streets distracted by brats playing up a parent
plainly too scared to but plead for acceptable
behaviour or risk being chased like a fox
beyond the pale, given society’s predilection
for what is just and fair, especially where
children are concerned, hopeful they will learn
a sense of responsibility, not turn out badly
in the long run

Pausing, my love and I, on country roads
to watch lambs skipping in a field
reflecting how it was when we were young
pretending we hadn’t a care in the world
to all but ourselves, looking over shoulders
when we thought someone might see us
keeping to shadows for kisses they despise
who live in houses made of playing cards
(aces high)

Hugging, my love and I, seeing how things are
in the world, glad we have each other
to help us through what may pass for morality
but (invariably) is an excuse for sucking up
to those do-gooders who mean well but see
sweeping statements as a rule of thumb,
love to interpret nature’s laws along such lines
as human ends justifying human means
in the long run

Fearing for lambs as prey to foxes as gay kisses
to human prejudices

Copyright R. N. Taber 2009

Sex, Sense, and Sensibility

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

I have been asked again to post the link to my poetry reading on the 4th plinth in London's Trafalgar Square as my contribution to Sir Antony Gormley's One and Other 'live sculpture' project that ran for 24/4 over 2,400 hours during the summer of 2009; 2,400 people were randomly selected to do their 'own thing' for one hour, and the resulting web-stream was archived in the British Library: I read a selection of gay-interest and other poems. However, the British Library have since confirmed (Sept 2019) that the plinth reading in is no longer available as the video is incompatible with an updated IT system. However, I am assured that the video still exists, and B L hope to make it available to the public again one day. Fingers crossed, and watch this space.] RNT

http://www.webarchive.org.uk/wayback/archive/20100223121732/oneandother.co.uk/participants/Roger_T  

Meanwhile ...

Now, I am never didactic in my poetry. I simply offer food for thought. Today's poem is on a subject about which I feel very strongly.

I have talked to so many people - gay and straight alike - who are sexually active and not in a steady relationship (or are, but continue to cruise for sex elsewhere) yet are either complacent or even dismissive about safer sex. Some seem to think that a condom eliminates risk altogether. Well, condoms can leak and while there is low risk sex, there is no such thing as no-risk sex.

Now, I have always practised what encourage others to do. I am not sexually active these days but when I was younger, I’d always have an HIV-AIDS test if I’d had unprotected sex (or not) for whatever reason (often drunk) or with someone about whom I had any suspicions in the cold light of day. Why? Well, for two reasons. For a start, I wanted to know if I was clear for my own sake. (How can you take better care of your body if you are HIV+ and  don’t know it?) Just as important, I needed to know for the sake of anyone else with whom I had sex. They deserved a choice, surely? 

There is medication available now that means people can live for many years with the HIV+ virus; it is not the death sentence it used to be. Even so, there is no cure and we can but hope one will be found before too many years have passed and millions more people infected. In many people’s mind, though, there is still a stigma attached to being HIV+. It is high time they got real and accepted that HIV+ is with us to stay and anyone can catch it. At the same time, it is not easy to catch. Even so if a test proves positive, we simply have to live with it and reconsider our sexual behaviour. (It does not mean we need to give up on sex!) I’ve had sex with men who were HIV+ and remain clear, even after all these years. Once, a boyfriend woke me up in tears at about 3.00 am to tell me he had AIDS. I comforted him and, a few days later, went to have a test … to be sure I was okay even though I had used a condom.

Many people - especially young people, gay and straight alike - are far too complacent about sex. I guess, when we’re young, we think we will live forever and don’t think about growing old, let alone dying! But that’s no excuse for not making sure we remain in as good a shape as possible, not just for ourselves but for the sake of friends, loved ones, even our careers. As I said, HIV+ is not the death sentence it used to be. There is lots of support and counselling available for people who may panic and/or have no idea how to cope if told they are positive.

There are specialist centres available where friendly, trained, non-judgemental staff will do a test and tell you the results within half an hour or so. If the results are positive, they will provide information about sources of support, including HIV-AIDS support groups. The Internet, too, is a treasure house of information.

I should perhaps add that, only recently, I have met older men in my own age group who are promiscuous but take the view that it doesn’t matter if they become infected with the HIV virus at our age. How selfish and  ignorant can those people be, eh? 

SEX, SENSE, AND SENSIBILITY

Didn’t test to see if I was HIV positive,
I was scared,
then my lover asked me outright
and I lied …
thinking I wasn’t really lying, believed
I was okay
but the lie began to haunt me more
each night and day,
especially when in my arms he lay
his body in my trust

I should find out, I thought, I must
have a test,
I can’t go on pretending like this
even as we kiss
that there’s no virus in me I can pass on
(as if I would)
but I cannot answer for the unknown,
need to find out,
be worthy of his love and trust
or we’ll never last

Eventually, I had the test, it was negative,
I was relieved,
then I asked my lover outright
and he cried...
swore he hadn’t known when we first met
but discovered since,
too scared to tell me in case I got angry
(as I’d been he might reject me)
so what could I do but hold him near
plant kisses in his hair?

Yes, we’ve had the test, my love and me,
it set us free
from doubt and fear because, together,
we are strong,
can deal with whatever this life
dishes us…
beats treading on our dreams, left alone
and up against it;
above all its blessings, place trust
or love will fail the test

Copyright R N Taber 2010, rev..2020

[Note: This poem first appears under the title 'The Test' in On the Battlefields of Love by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2010]