http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber
Loving someone, whether for years, weeks or even less, is sure to leave its mark. Sometimes, when I’m fighting depression, as I am at the moment, I think of all the people I have ever loved, and the sum of that love helps me find my way through the maze of confused thoughts and feelings that invariably precede depression although we rarely have a clue at the time just where they are taking us. [In time, though, we learn to recognise the signs.]
A recent telephone conversation ended with our both agreeing that life can be so unfair sometimes. After I’d replaced the receiver, I found myself back in the maze. Only, this time I wasn’t alone, but accompanied by those who may have played a small or huge part in my life, yet whose own lives were cut short, depriving them of any chance to fulfil their potential. I can’t honestly say that I’ve fulfilled mine, but that’s down to me, no one else. Whatever, I’ve (mostly, not always) enjoyed trying. More to the point, at 66 years-old I’m still here to tell the tale, and can look forward to the roller-coaster ride continuing for a few more years yet. Well, fingers crossed...
It is not only so true that love never dies, but it also never ceases inspire. Moreover, it is as likely to pay us a visit out of the blue, and leave us a better person for that, as we are to spend a lifetime in its company.
Don’t ever be afraid of friendly ghosts. Oh, they can never take the place of real people, but they can be good companions all the same, especially when real people, however well-meaning, fail to grasp what we need most...love, and its (reciprocal) belief in us.
Loving someone, whether for years, weeks or even less, is sure to leave its mark. Sometimes, when I’m fighting depression, as I am at the moment, I think of all the people I have ever loved, and the sum of that love helps me find my way through the maze of confused thoughts and feelings that invariably precede depression although we rarely have a clue at the time just where they are taking us. [In time, though, we learn to recognise the signs.]
A recent telephone conversation ended with our both agreeing that life can be so unfair sometimes. After I’d replaced the receiver, I found myself back in the maze. Only, this time I wasn’t alone, but accompanied by those who may have played a small or huge part in my life, yet whose own lives were cut short, depriving them of any chance to fulfil their potential. I can’t honestly say that I’ve fulfilled mine, but that’s down to me, no one else. Whatever, I’ve (mostly, not always) enjoyed trying. More to the point, at 66 years-old I’m still here to tell the tale, and can look forward to the roller-coaster ride continuing for a few more years yet. Well, fingers crossed...
It is not only so true that love never dies, but it also never ceases inspire. Moreover, it is as likely to pay us a visit out of the blue, and leave us a better person for that, as we are to spend a lifetime in its company.
Don’t ever be afraid of friendly ghosts. Oh, they can never take the place of real people, but they can be good companions all the same, especially when real people, however well-meaning, fail to grasp what we need most...love, and its (reciprocal) belief in us.
LOVE NEVER DIES
He had looks, he had charm,
always a pretty girl on his arm;
I could only admire
a swinging of hips as he walked,
an incredible self-confidence
when he talked, a man who knew
his own mind, unafraid
to voice an opinion, no matter
upsetting anyone
I was shy, I was scared
in case anyone suspected I’m gay;
all I could do was pretend
an interest in the opposite sex
even though he was always
on my mind, asleep or awake,
this god with jet black hair
who invariably wore a (very)
tight tee and jeans
One day caught us waiting
at a bus stop in the pouring
rain
and we got chatting
about everything and nothing,
my pulse racing,
heart skipping so many beats
I thought I’d die
especially when he teased me
about my school tie
Our bus arrived, everyone
soon aboard but we’d hung back
and somehow the bus
went of without us, leaving us
wondering why were there,
soaking wet, grinning at each other
like conspirators caught out
and not quite knowing what to do
or say next
He told me he’d noticed
how I was always watching him,
demanded to know why;
I expected the worst but, even so,
couldn’t lie;
something in me wouldn’t let me
apologize either
but I couldn’t look him in the eyes
or stop my tears
I turned and walked away
but he laid a hand on my shoulder,
forced me to face him,
pushed me into the bus shelter,
my back to the wall.
waiting for a punch in the face
or worse
but all that came was a long, slow,
gentle kiss
No one ever knew about our love
affair;
he died in a road accident a month
later
Copyright R. N. Taber 2010
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