Wednesday 26 August 2015

Gutter Press, Working Mischief

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

This poem was written in 2002. 

Now, there was strict Equal Opportunities/Diversity policy where I used to work. Even so, a (straight) colleague once commented that he did not like to see two men kissing in the street or, indeed, anywhere in public.  I asked if he would object to kissing by way of a greeting or an impromptu gesture of affection? He insisted, 'Gay men have no right to impose their sexuality on others,' and went so far as to call it obscene for 'setting a bad example, especially to children and vulnerable young adults.' 

Photo: from the Internet

Yes, children and young people are naturally curious, and may well ask questions, but any suggestion that the sight of two men kissing is going to corrupt anyone has to be a complete nonsense. 

I asked my colleague how he felt about two women kissing in public. He replied that was different because 'women often do and one cannot assume they are lesbians'.  When I put it to him that his feelings about men kissing were therefore purely homophobic, he simply shrugged and walked away.

I have to admit I don't particularly care for couples - straight or gay - engaged in heavy kissing in public (especially if I happen to be sitting opposite them on a train or bus) but it's supposed to be a free country and I am, after all, free to sit elsewhere...or even close my eyes and surrender to some wishful thinking.

Let's face it, kissing is fun whether or not it may lead to that ultimate treasure trove called love, and I am pleased to say that most journalists I have ever met agree that, straight or gay, it makes no difference.

'With a kiss let us set out for that unknown world.' - Alfred de Musset

'We are all in the gutter, but some of us are reaching for the stars.' - Oscar Wilde

GUTTER PRESS, WORKING MISCHIEF

We kissed, quickening footsteps
rushing by like overflow
from a gutter… and heard voices
mutter,  ‘It’s not right to do that
in a busy street, would be different
if they were normal, for heaven’s
sake!  It’s a fine modernity permits
promiscuity in full view
of people going about their business,
anxious to cause no offence, 
setting an example to our kids, 
sure to keep a weather eye 
on their peers...getting paranoid
about tabloid whistle blowers,
wondering whose head next will fall,
Big Brother at school, on TV,
at the office, busy making mischief
while Heads, bosses, terrorists, 
are poised to mark our cards if only 
to make a point unless we, in turn, 
make a stand, prepare to deal ourselves 
a winning hand…’

‘So much to do, think about, without
having to look at gay folks kissing
in the street as if they had as much right
to be there as we everyday consumers
doing our damn best to rig share prices
and put the world straight.’

We kissed again, quickening footsteps
rushing past like overflow from a gutter,
and multicultural voices muttering …

Copyright R. N. Taber 2004; 2018

[Note: This poem has been slightly revised from the original version as it appears - under the title 'The Kiss' - in The Third Eye, by R. N.Taber, 2004.]



Monday 24 August 2015

G-A-Y, in Sync with Mind-Body-Spirit

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

Now, as regular readers will know only too well, I cannot relate to religion, but have no problem as such with any religion except where it has a problem with me for being gay. 

Rock Haven, one of my favourite DVDs, suggests that any dogma that suggests religious beliefs and gay relationships are mutually exclusive and any denial of human love is unfit for purpose. My sentiments exactly...nor do I accept that gay clerics are unacceptable to any religion unless they practise celibacy; the idea is absurd. Mind, Body and Spirit are three in one, not isolates. 

If God IS love, how does anyone of any religion reconcile that with an intrinsic homophobia? 

This poem is a villanelle.

G-A-Y, IN SYNC WITH MIND-BODY-SPIRIT

I have faith in a growing spirituality
fuelling my completeness,
reassuring, reasserting my sexuality

Depending on the inner eye to see
the light of true happiness,
I have faith in a growing spirituality

No affinity with religious identity,
I wear nature’s battle dress,
reassuring, reasserting my sexuality

Where dogmas argue my legitimacy,
place me under duress,
I have faith in a growing spirituality

It’s an open heart that let me go free
(of a caged mind in distress)
reassuring, reasserting my sexuality

A selfhood responding no differently
to any other with flaws to confess,
I have faith in a growing spirituality
reassuring, reasserting my sexuality

Copyright R. N. Taber 2015




Wednesday 19 August 2015

Boxed-In by Stereotypes Compounded by Dogma

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

Coming out to family, friends and the world in general as a gay person is never easy even in a gay-friendly environment where the perception others have of us may well be in for some re-assembling, to say the least. In an environment hostile to the gay ethic, the need to come out can be a nightmare, just as it was for me many years ago.

There are no quick fixes, especially in countries where gay relationships remain a criminal offence, even punishable by death.

Coming out as openly gay, as I have said many times, is a very personal decision. Any failure to do so should not be held against someone. At the same time, there is a lot to be said for the art of gentle persuasion. Nor should compromise be seen as a weakness; it is not always a bad thing. For example, coming out to a few people who really care about us can more than compensate for the contempt in which an ignorant majority - unable or unwilling to separate stereotypical fiction from fact – (still) persist in holding us.

Some countries (like some people) like to boast a policy of Equal Opportunities, but let’s not be completely fooled; political correctness (so-called) is often but a smokescreen for a lesser morality. Not always, of course, but we need to remain alert to the possibility. Homophobia is alive and kicking even in the (so-called) ‘liberal’ West.

What’s, that you say? Me, a cynic…?  Well, yes, in many respects, but one can, of course, only speak from personal experience. Moreover, while I am not Islamophobic as such, the rise and spread of Islam across the western world does gay people no favours since the majority of Muslims are inclined to be homophobic; less traditional Muslims, though, especially among younger people, are more open-minded. One reason I subscribe to no religion is that all religions tend to stereotype or 'label' thos of us who, for whatever reason, refuse to to enter into their more dogmatic points of view.

This poem is a villanelle.

BOXED-IN BY STEREOTYPES COMPOUNDED BY DOGMA 

Desperate to go free,
captive for years,
this ‘other’ self in me

An aspiring maturity
drying my tears,
desperate to be free

Need to let them see
(who fan my fears)
this ‘other’ self in me

Homing in on bigotry
(as its hurt clears)
desperate to be free

No separate identity
(as named by peers)
this ‘other’ self in me

Person and sexuality
(a natural harmony);
desperate to be free,
this ‘other’ self in me


Copyright R. N. Taber 2015

Sunday 16 August 2015

A Slow Thaw OR Leaving a Winter of the Heart for its Spring

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

Some years ago, a friend of a friend studying in London at the time got in touch and asked to meet up, ostensibly to discuss art and poetry. I was delighted to oblige and we met up at a bar in London of my choice; it just happened to be a gay bar. After a a meal and few drinks, he said he thought he was gay, but had never tried gay sex because he was a Catholic…and could he try it with me because he felt safe with a poet.

Poets, I pointed out, are but human, and we should never make sweeping assumptions about people, especially strangers. (Hypocritical of me, I dare say, having done just that many times in the past.) He insisted I did not feel like a stranger because he had been reading my poems for several years. Why, though, I was intrigued to know, did he want to have sex with a much older man whom he had never met. He said he would feel safer with an older man and we had enjoyed each other's company all evening so...why stop now?

I wasn’t so much taken a-back as surprised since he was a very personable young man; not handsome, but good looking in a a cheeky kind of way that suggested a self-confidence in which (in this respect at least) he was clearly lacking. Anyway, I liked him so agreed, and we went back to my flat.. .I have to say that, among other things, he proved to be a great kisser. He left London after graduating and we lost touch, but not before I learned that had a steady boyfriend, also a Catholic; I was pleased to hear  on the grapevine only recently that they are still together and attend church regularly since their religion is plainly important to them. (I may not be religious myself, but I will always respect other people’s religious beliefs so long as they are not used against me.)

If I had any lingering doubts about my sexuality as a teenager, these faded away into obscurity the first time I shared  a kiss with another man, my sexual identity sealed once and for all and likely to shape much of what would follow in the years ahead. Yes, I would make mistakes (like feeling obliged to throw my lot in with the heterosexual majority if only for appearances sake)  but it was always inevitable that I would eventually (and thankfully) find the courage of my sexual convictions. Even so, it took a nervous breakdown in my 30's before I was finally able to reconcile sense, sex, and sensibility

Never underestimate the healing power of a kiss. Growing up in a gay-unfriendly environment almost broke my spirit, and is no easier now than it ever has been for gay boys and girls, men and women in a similar situation the world over. Even so, attitudes towards same sex relationships are changing, slowly but surely, worldwide, especially among young people...but change doesn't happen overnight and it make take a few generations yet before the bigots lose out to common sense and humanity.

'Thaw with her gentle persuasion  is more powerful than Thor with his hammer. The one melts, the other breaks into pieces.' - Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862)


 Photo taken from the Internet

This poem is a villanelle:

A SLOW THAW or LEAVING A WINTER OF THE HEART FOR ITS SPRING

Body, thawing slowly,
signalling a lessening apprehension;
heart, beating joyfully

Hidden scars, oh, so shyly
opening up to a diminishing tension;
body, thawing slowly

Submitting to fingers gently
stripping away decades of deception;
heart, beating joyfully

Lips parted, oh, so anxiously
to enjoy the fruits of sexual attraction;
body, thawing slowly

Rites of sex applied patiently,
expunging any dogma of self-delusion;
heart, beating joyfully

Human spirit, admitting (finally)
sex and sexuality to its own dimension;
body thawing slowly,
heart beating joyfully ... 


Copyright R. N. Taber 2015









Saturday 15 August 2015

Reconciliation OR To Hell and Back

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

The pressures on any relationship from critical outsiders can be harsh, even heart-breaking; sufficiently so sometimes to weaken even the ramparts of love.

There are bound to be times when one or other of us in a relationship cannot withstand these pressures.

Breaking up is tough on anyone. We need to be strong, and man up. Not always easy.

Oh, but the joy of reconciliation once we join forces and prepare to repel all invaders threatening our shared private space where (gay or straight)...Love rules OK.

RECONCILIATION or TO HELL AND BACK

In the water, ugly face looking up at me,
bags under the eyes, tramlines on the brow,
mouth crooked (the queerest expression)
firing questions that passed over my head
to join songbirds providing a free display

of nature’s grace and splendour, yet cannot
move me to tears of joy where but wistfulness,
confined to a hell of mind-body-spirit

In the water, a told-you-so sun mocking me,
bags under its eyes, reeling from a freak storm
that struck without warning as a beast might
stalk and surprise its prey. Shivering now despite
the afternoon’s clammy heat. Scared, yes,
paralysis inviting the beast to circle and tease,
whites of its eyes curiously familiar, threatening
the worst, but move on, leave me alone

In the water, your face smiling up at me,
bags under the eyes, tramlines on the brow,
mouth crooked (the queerest expression)
putting answers to me that whirl in my head,
join seabirds in a free display of nature’s
grace and splendour, a feisty summer spray
in my eyes depositing its passion on my tongue,
lyric of an all-time favourite love song

Reconciled, we strolled a lake’s leafy shore,
scared of being gay and in love no more

Copyright R. N. Taber, 2005; 2013  

[Note: An earlier version of this poem under the title 'Reconciliation' appears in 1st eds. of A Feeling for the Quickness of Time by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2005; revised ed. in e-format in preparation.]