Friday 4 September 2020

Sometimes, it takes a Stranger

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

Today’s poem first appeared on the blog in 2013.

When I was a boy in the early-mid 1950’s, my mother would always warn me not to speak to any strange men whenever I went out to play. As a gay youth, I was destined not to follow that particular piece of advice.

On the whole, I have been very fortunate in the gay men I have met while cruising around hoping for sex since my mid-teenage years; it would be few more years yet (1967) before sex between consenting gay adults would be legalised here in the UK and I would not be 21 until 1966. (I will be 75 in December so it was all a long time ago, yet I recall that time as if it were but yesterday.)

As a teenager, I took care never to let anyone take me to their home. As a young adult, I probably never appreciated the risks of going home (or anywhere else) with a total stranger or taking him back to my place. Even so, I trusted my instincts, and rarely did they let me down ... or not for long anyway. (No adrenaline rush could ever quite obliterate them.)

Few straight men understand about ‘cruising’ and find it sordid, even disgusting; what they fail to grasp is that there is a gay person inside us, desperate to come out, look the world in the eye, hopefully meet the boy or girl man  or woman or our dreams - or at least, kindred spirits. What few understand is that the world, as represented by the environment in which we live, is often unlikely to welcome us with open arms; in short, we are scared … of stereotypical attitudes prevalent among family, friends and workmates (or schoolmates) alike; not least, we may well have good cause to be scared of being beaten up simply for our sexuality.  

Until we put closet days behind us, though, we are prisoners of our twin selves. (I am often asked why, as gay man, I also write general poetry and fiction; not least, it is to emphasise the point that a person’s sexuality is an integral part of who they are, yes, but there is far more to anyone than their sexuality.

As I have said on the blogs more than once, and will say yet again, our differences do not make us different, only human. 

LGBT folks have come a long way since Stonewall, but in many countries, communities and family life around the world, we are not equal yet in the eyes of  many, even where there is legislation in our favour, Black lives, LGBT lives, disabled people's lives... every life matters and deserves to be treated as such, and not in a patronising way, but as ordinary people, part of a common humanity.

Have fun, but be careful out there.

SOMETIMES, IT TAKES A STRANGER

A stranger one fine day
asked if he could walk with me,
told me he was gay,
asked if he could talk with me
about being gay

What else could I do or say
but let the stranger walk with me,
tell me he was gay,
let him walk and talk with me
about being gay?

A stranger one fine day
told me he had seen me before,
suspected I am gay,
told me how he fancied me
(so am I gay?)

A stranger, many years ago
talked to me like no one else had
about being gay,
knew just what I so needed
to hear and say ... 

Copyright R. N. Taber 2009



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