Today’s poem-post first appeared on the blog in 2016; it
has since been (slightly) revised and given a new title.
What do you do if you’re gay and belong to a culture that
is intrinsically homophobic? This poem is based on a heart-warming
conversation I once had with a gay Muslim man and his straight boyhood friend.
It is good to know that platonic love is still alive and
kicking even in the face of the kind of socio-cultural-religious homophobia
that has plagued us for centuries, and will continue to do so until LGBT issues
are discussed in the classroom, opinions invited, compared and subsequently
taken on board so that young people grow up familiar with the ultimate Fact of
Life in so far as our differences do not make us different, only human; like it
or not, we are all part of a common humanity and there is no excuse for
prejudice. As for those who object to their children having an all-round education
on any socio-cultural-religious grounds, children are not fools nor do they
deserve to be treated as such; better, surely, that they learn to respect human
differences than be spoon fed bigotry and hate?
Yes, of course it matters what people think of us, but
what matters far more is what we think of ourselves. Whatever our religious or
non-religious views, we only have one life as we know it now, and it is our life
no one else's. Is it really so selfish to live it the way we want to live
it, especially when love is our guiding light...and loving one person doesn't
mean we need to leave anyone else behind... unless their take
on love happens to be set in tablets of stone, in which case, so be it, their choice.
Many gay people are raised (as I was) to think the worst
of the whole LGBT ethos so when they begin to personally relate to that same
ethos themselves, they experience a crisis of conscience,never easy to deal
with, and some of us never do. I did, but not after some very painful times
with family and (some) friends. It took a nervous breakdown in my early 30's
before I found the self-confidence to trust my own instincts and hold my head
high for being gay. To my shame and regret, I even rejected a good friend for
being gay during those early, fearful years. In my 70's now, I have tried to
compensate for being such a coward then, but my closet days, they haunt me
still.
No one chooses an LGBT orientation; we identify with it
or we don't. Either way, the choice lies in what (if anything) we do about
it. Those who continue to oppose and demonstrate against LGBT issues
amongst others on any school curriculum need to ask themselves if anyone has
the right to deny anyone else the right to be
themselves... and give due consideration to what Education is all about.
G-A-Y, IN THE BLOOD
Out walking in the park,
saw someone who looked like you
pause to watch clouds drift by
like fluffy bits of snow, nowhere
to go and nothing better to do
than haunt us with memories, good
bad, happy, sad, and needing
to be saved to a desktop or lost
in that system commonly known
as the human condition
Out walking in the park,
someone who looked just like me
came right up to a friend,
wanting to know where he stood
on life, love, humanity,
‘taboo stuff’ like sexual identity…
and why shun a best mate
for being true to conscience,
before socio-cultural-religious ideas
that put people in boxes?
Out walking in the park,
someone who looked just like me
spoke up for being gay,
could understand concerns
about gossip and guilt
by association (yes, only too well)
but still had no regrets
about telling everyone his secret
about being buried alive in a closet,
body, mind and spirit
Out walking in the park,
on a day when a hostile gathering
of clouds were never inclined
to take my side, I failed miserably
in helping you come to terms
with my world, the likes of which
someone just like you
could not see was but an extension
of the friendship we had both known
since we were children
What happened, I wondered
to the best friend I'd looked up to
and adored for years,
as my eyes misted over with tears
for times shared, innocence lost,
doubting (then) he'd ever understand,
sharing his visible pain already,
a hard rain falling as if to obliterate
any tears as we went our separate ways
into the same sad world?
Out walking in the park,
saw someone who looked like you
pause to watch clouds drift by
like fluffy bits of snow, nowhere
to go and nothing better to do
than haunt us with memories, good
bad, happy, sad, and saved
to the desktop for posterity or deleted
by socio-cultural-religious interpretations
of what passes for humanity
Copyright R. N. Taber 2016; 2020
[Note: The title is taken from an interview given by
James Baldwin to mark the 15th anniversary of Stonewall; it is about being gay
in America, but sadly still rings true among families/ communities
worldwide: https://www.villagevoice.com/2018/06/22/james-baldwin-on-being-gay-in-america/ ]
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