Exhilaration

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

Sometimes love is a long time coming, but when it does…wow!

While true love will last, it is a fact of life that not all relationships - gay or straight - can withstand the test of time.

Whatever, we can enjoy what we have while we have it…and how!

EXHILARATION

I only had to see him
for a heat to rush through me
like an express train

I only had to hear him
for music to rush through me
like songbirds on wing

I only had to touch him
for desire to rush through me
like a summer wind

He only had to hold me
for passion to rush my senses
like wild honeysuckle

He only had to kiss me
for delight to rush my despair
like a birthday surprise

He only had to love me
for its sheer ecstasy to rush us
like an express train

Where life rushes at love
and would share but glimpses,
we had other ideas

Copyright R. N.Taber 2009

Love. an Agenda All its Own

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

We cannot help with whom we fall in love, but our love is not always reciprocated in the same way. Loving someone who sees us as a close friend, no more or less, can be hard sometimes. Even so, - whether we are gay or straight, male or female - friendship is a wonderful thing, and if worth having, always worth saving…whatever it takes.

LOVE, AN AGENDA ALL ITS OWN

There’s a poem I’ve often tried to write

about the way his hair blows in a breeze

and his face almost vanishes from sight

but for a wicked laughter in the eyes

There’s a poem I’ve often tried to write

about the way his voice eases my pain

like a balm to sores, moon to wintry night,

sunshine filtering through a summer rain

There’s a poem I’ve often tried to write

about the way his hugs near break my heart

and how, as his arms are holding me tight,

it aches for knowing we must quickly part

There’s a friend for whom I often begin 

poems I know he’ll wish I’d not written…

Copyright R. N. Taber 2007

[Note: This poem has been slightly revised from an earlier version that appears under the title 'Genesis' in Accomplices to Illusion by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2007.]

Crossroads

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

Although spring is just around the corner, we still have to turn that corner; winter is not done with us yet.  Such (more often than not) is life…

So let’s cheer ourselves up with the thought that life may well be an up and down, round and round, mad roller-coaster ride, and there’s invariably another corner to turn, but who knows what might be waiting for us there?  A shock perhaps, it’s true, but not all shocks are of the nasty kind. We could well be in for some wonderful surprises....

Such as what, did you say? Well, read the poem and find out...

CROSSROADS

Once, wrestling me in seemingly playful fun,

you crossed a (visibly) invisible line;

no time to resist before your lips kissed mine,

sending all my senses into a mad spin

You quickly broke away, a tortured expression

in tearful eyes conveying no chagrin;

we had been friends for years but never spoken

of anything as scary as sexual attraction

My heart leapt, our first kiss rippling my body

like swathes of sunlight on a feisty sea;

I could scarcely breathe for an incredible pain,

all the more incredible for my letting it in

We neither wanted to go back to how we were,
struggled with lust, love and fear,
love getting the better of demons on the brain,
bringing home truths into the open...

Madly, anxiously, I savoured your lips on mine,

all our senses in the same mad spin

through twin lives never quite the same again

for the crossing of a (visibly) invisible line

Copyright R. N. Taber 2010; 2016

[Note: An earlier version of this poem appears under the title 'Crossing the Line' in On the Battlefields of Love by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2010.]

Always Open to Dialogue OR Opening Up Closed Minds

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber.

Now it's an old truism that you can bring a horse to water, but you cannot make it drink. Gay, straight or transgender, it is up to the individual to find his or her way in life, which includes acknowledging (or not) their sexuality. Nor is it up to anyone else to speculate or fuel rumour and gossip. Sexuality is only part of the whole person; it is the whole that counts.

Who are we, any of us, to pass an uninformed judgement on the part and apply it to the whole?

As far as being gay is concerned, I can tell you from personal experience that not coming to grips with sexuality can result in a slow but sure build-up of mental health problems. I was only 14 years-old when I acknowledged to my awakening sexual self that I am gay. (Gay relationships were illegal in those days.) Subsequent closet years contributed significantly to my suffering a severe nervous breakdown in my early thirties. It took me a long time (years, not weeks or months) to recover and get my life back on track, but on track it was at last, not least because I was now openly gay where previously I had been in and out of that damn closet like a Jack-in-the-box, something I would not wish on my worst enemy.

Being gay is no more a matter of choice than being straight; acknowledging and acting on it...that is the choice all LGBT people face, and learning to live with ourselves. Whatever our sex or sexuality,  life is rarely an easy path, but better (surely?) to tackle its ups and downs as we are rather than as we or others might have us be? For me, the latter was like trying to breathe in someone else's skin, a living nightmare.

Whatever life choices we make because feel it is right, that choice should be respected, not condemned because certain socio-cultural-religious elements in any society anywhere happen to take a different view. We may well find ourselves harbouring strong feelings for or against one or more aspects of a person's expressed take on life, but we have no right to judge that person on those alone, and it would be a crime against humanity to do so; we may dislike, even hate a particular song for its lyric, orchestral arrangement, whatever...but only a total jerk would presume to judge the singer on the basis of one performance. (While not presuming to suggest all gay-unfriendly folks are jerks, if the cap fits...)

'A conversation is a dialogue, not a monologue. That's why there are so few good conversations: due to scarcity, two intelligent talkers seldom meet.' - Truman Capote

'Once you have dialogue starting, you know you can break down prejudice.' - Harvey Milk

This poem is a kenning

ALWAYS OPEN TO DIALOGUE

I am no enemy,

and more sinned against

than sinning…

wherever I go, whatever

path I take in life,

trudging sadly, skipping madly

or taking wary steps

among minefields haunting

most if not all of us   

I am a friend,

born to be so to the end

of life’s journey,

even beyond halcyon days

and nights committed

to sweet memory, transcending

any regret for times past,

inspiring an earthy spirituality

in most if not all of us

See me for what I am,

a natural ally to conscience

since its birth, always

on its side, knowing right

from wrong, discerning

society’s excuses and abuses,

unafraid to pleasure me

despite bigotry and hypocrisy

conspiring against us

It's a closed mind judges my integrity
on the grounds of my sexuality

Copyright R. N. Taber 2011; 2016

Who Upsets the Applecart gets to Calm the Horse

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

It is one of many modern tragedies that - in spite of pro-gay legislation in some countries (or at least the lack of any anti-gay legislation) many societies continue to pay but lip service to various Human Rights. My arthritis and prostate cancer mean that I don't socialise half as much as I used to, but as late as 2016, I met a couple  who came to London to live and work because "In the (English) village  we come from, gays are considered perverts."

Regular readers will know that I had acknowledged to myself that I am gay by the time I was 14 years-old. In those days (late 1950's) same sex relationships were a taboo. Homosexuality was considered a sin, an abomination. (Socio-cultural-religious bigots among us still do, of course.)

Imagine the effect of that on a vulnerable teenager … i

In my case, it led to my having a nasty nervous breakdown  in my early 30's. Ironically, it turned out to be a positive turning point in my life. although it would be a few more years yet before I stopped being a scared jack-in-the-box and declared my sexuality to one and all.

Gay people are not the only star-crossed lovers around the world, of course; lovers from different cultures, religious and  even social standing  continue to be ostracised by some family and friends.

Regarding homosexuality, education has to be the key to dispelling the many misleading and often offensive stereotypes that continue to attach themselves to same sex lovers worldwide (among other subjects many of us prefer to avoid) BUT what schools (and teachers) are willing to discuss sex and sexuality openly, sensitively and honestly with their classes? I can’t see many if any Faith schools obliging - whether Muslim, C of E, Catholic, whatever ... well, can you?

This poem is a villanelle.

WHO UPSETS THE APPLECART GETS TO CALM THE HORSE

Our conjoined head-heart,

conceived with due love and care,
upsetting whose apple cart?

Suspect from the very start

by such 'betters' as hadn't any idea;  

our conjoined, head-heart

Politics playing it smart,

promising change, logistics unclear,
upsetting whose apple cart?

No sweet a fruit or as tart

than this gay love we can but share;

our conjoined head-heart

Defying rhetoric's darker art

(equal even to Medusa's stony stare;)
upsetting whose apple cart?

Target for a bigot's poison dart

(as sure to fly any time as anywhere);

our conjoined, head-heart,

upsetting whose apple cart?

Copyright R. N. Taber 2016

Facts of Life

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

Different peoples of the world speak different languages, but life, at heart, has no need of  words (in any language, spoken or written) to get certain points of view across. 

As often as not, it is not what we say but the way we say it that too easily leaves itself (and ourselves) open to interpretation...or misinterpretation, as the case may be.

Sadly, many world cultures and religions remain instrinsically homophobic. but when did love ever need anyone's permission...? Love just IS...and the sooner everyone accepts that, the better its chances (and ours) of achieving a kinder, safer, peaceful world. 

Oh, but I wish...

FACTS OF LIFE

We have to make love
behind locked doors, only (might)
confide in close friends.
dare not be seen (ever) holding hands
or reprimand Society
for making a taboo of our sexuality
(in defying convention)
and what is  ‘convention’ anyway
but a game people play?

Our ‘betters’ passing laws
according to the nature of the society
they intend we live by…
Fair enough, where criminality rife,
but don’t we all deserve
a life that rich, honest and true?
Sexuality is a fact of life, 
offering the joys of love and peace
to whomsoever seeks

Once doors left unlocked,
intruders (ever claiming legitimacy)
intending us harm
for not (fully) complying with rules
laid down by our ‘betters’
for the greater good if demonising
anyone advocating
views incompatible with ‘normal’
so therefore ‘unnatural’

Blame stereotypes (heads in sand);
copycat sheep of the human kind

Copyright R. N. Taber 2016

Going with the Music OR Play On...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

Don’t we all have our eye on the main chance where falling in love is concerned? Gay or straight, we can’t afford to be caught out wearing blinkers …

At the same time, of course, we need to learn the best steps likely to find ourselves a partner in life if not for life; it's no fun engaging with shadows in a closet.

As classic playwright William Shakespeare frequently comments, one way or another, in many of his his plays: - 'If music be the food of love, play on... 'Twelfth Night (1602) 

GOING WITH THE MUSIC

Shirt open,

muscles rippling,

slim fit jeans

defying mutual desires

to pussyfoot

around each other

like politicians

with an eye on the

main chance

while not wanting

to queer

their pitch with any

second

(or third) choices

likely game

for second (or third)

chances

Body going

with the music,

in time

with, oh, so playful toes

winking

back at mine,

suggesting

we leave the floor,

head for

the bar, see where

it leads...

(your place or mine?)

anxious to play

the cool customer

while making the case

for sex

Mind getting

lost in the music,

reaching out

to you for a helping hand,

sensing

your piano fingers

playing mine

(a familiar enough tune)

its subtleties

stirring memories

of times

when spirit and flesh

both equal

to the greater task,

making more

of one-night stands

than sex

Shirts off,

muscles rippling,

hairy legs

taking mutual desires

full on,

no pussy footing

around

each other

like politicians,

but an eye on the

main chance

with no intention

of queering

our pitch with any

second

(or third) choices,

only game

(this time) for staying

the course

Copyright R. N. Taber 2016