LGBT, Carve our Names with Pride

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

Today’s poem last appeared on the blog in March 2010, and several readers have asked me to repeat it. Not everyone has a computer at home or if they do they don’t always feel free to call up a gay blog on it. Such a reader is ‘Henri’ who says his family would be ‘very angry and sad’ if they found him reading the blog at home. [Readers often tell me this. It is a poor reflection, indeed, on the times in which we live, vastly improved though a gay person’s lot may be (for some of us) compared to when I was a teenager and young man.]

It sounds like Henri is still in the closet. I can but hope he will break out of it in time as I did years ago. Even so, let's not forget that while Coming Out is a very liberating experience, it can also be a very scary, even traumatic one, especially for anyone who has not grown up in a gay-friendly environment. Acknowledging to ourselves that we are gay can be hard enough, letting family and friends in on our discovery is rarely plain sailing although we may well be pleasantly reassured by their reaction..

In a repressive regime, it is all but impossible to be openly gay, but even here in the West, the consequences are not always as we would wish them to be. One gay reader contacted me a few weeks ago  to say his parents are evangelical Christians and another has told me his family are Mormons; neither dares talk about their sexuality because they are still at college and unable to make a life for themselves away from home in the event that, as both young men seem convinced, their families will not be remotely understanding or tolerant towards their being gay. Well, we often make wrong assumptions about people, and there is only one way to find out. Mind you, I once heard from an American relative who is a Mormon. He assured me that he did not think any less of me for being gay. On the contrary, he would be happy to advise me about being 'cured' !!

There are always consequences for our actions; we need to think through and prepare ourselves for all  possible scenarios associated with them before we go ahead; it always helps to have a close ally, and this applies as much to Coming Out as anything else.  

Let's be clear. There is nothing wrong with a gay person staying in the damn closet until they are good and ready to break out. If some people never feel ready, it is their decision and we have to respect it. That said, I have no respect for those people who feel they cannot be openly gay and try to 'divert suspicion' by making homophobic remarks or siding with homophobic parties; it is sheer hypocrisy at its ugliest. Nor, in my opinion,  should we accept being in the public eye as an excuse.

Across the word, gay people are still being attacked, even killed for their sexuality, a tragedy for which the 21st Century should hang its head in shame.

Tomorrow's poem will continue the same theme, not least because (if feedback is anything to go by) the blog appears to have acquired more younger readers recently and not everyone has either the time or opportunity to browse the archives. 

LGBT, CARVE OUR NAMES WITH PRIDE

As you touched my hand

it felt like a brand

burning into me, and I ran off

to hang my head in shame

because now I wore

a name for anyone to read,

and I was scared

I asked a passing dove

what I should do,

but the dove flew on

so I asked a friendly canine

that wagged its tail,

but left me feeling less

than sanguine

I went home and changed

for a night on the town

and my hand, it kept shaking

as I buttoned up my shirt,

listened to the pounding

of a heart wondering - how

to make a start?

I called you, arranged to meet

on the corner of our street,

promised I wouldn’t run away 

this time or hang my head

in shame for wearing

a name anyone can read - and

I was scared ...

But glad

Copyright R. N. Taber 2004; 2019

[Note: An earlier version of this poem appears under the title 'G-A-Y' in The Third Eye by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2004; title rev. 8/19]