Going to meet The Man OR God Is No Homophobe

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

Today's poem has appeared on the blog before, but is repeated again today especially for 'Ivor' and 'Colleen', two gay people who have been in touch to say it helped reinforce a tenuous hold on their respective religions after being rejected by their local religious communities for being gay.

Now, regular readers will know that I subscribe to no religion, but find spiritual relief and inspiration in nature where religion offers me only division and bigotry. Even so, I will always defend anyone’s right to follow the religion of their choice regardless of colour, sex or sexuality.

So-called religious people who practice any form of socio-cultural-religious bigotry are a disgrace to their religion and its founders as far as I’m concerned. I have even said so on YouTube:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vrTjc2373IU

GOING TO MEET THE MAN or GOD IS NO HOMOPHOBE

A young man went to heaven,
and knocked at the door;
an angel came, looked him over,
told him he’d have to wait
a wee longer. A second angel arrived,
carrying the Book, stood there,
scratched his head, gave the poor lad
a hard, old-fashioned look.
When yet a third angel came to see
whatever could the matter be,
the youth managed to say,
‘Is there a problem ’cause I’m gay?’
The angels muttered piously,
‘Know, truth will have its way.’
The young man broke down
and turned to leave when Someone
took him, oh, so gently
by the sleeve, reminding loud
and clear...

"Who seeks shall enter."

Copyright R. N. Taber 2002; 2010

[Note: Slightly revised (2010) from an earlier version that appears in First Person Plural by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2002 and other poetry publications.  Oh, and yes, the poem takes its title from a wonderful novel by that outstanding writer, James Baldwin.]

Behind Closed Doors

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

I saw my consultant the other day about my prostate cancer. She was very understanding and we have agreed a compromise. I will continue with hormone therapy for another nine months, and then stop for a while. If my PSA level does not shoot up, I will continue the hormone therapy, but if it does I will need to have radiotherapy. Even so, should the latter scenario arise, we can take into account my weak bladder next time so maybe it won’t be so stressful! Fingers crossed that the hormone therapy will keep the cancer at bay.

Meanwhile...

Some people who enjoy my YouTube channel expressed delight at my latest attempts at voice-over poems. My close fried Graham and I plan to use the same technique from time to time:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pT-qqOje4vY

[NB If the link doesn’t work, go to my YouTube channel, click on ‘see all’ and look for ‘Engaging with History’ (You may have to register with YouTube):

http://www.youtube.com/rogerNtaber

Now, I feel fine, but could be better, and am less able to travel these days as I need to pass water (that’s go for a pee to the initiated) a LOT.

Meanwhile ...

The poem below has appeared on my general blog and is posted here today especially for ‘Glen’ and ‘Ronan’ who spotted it and have been in touch to say it struck a chord with them. It appears they have ‘homophobic neighbours who son has just come out’! Well, I hope those neighbours will revise their views and continue to love the guy just the same. Most parents do even if it is a struggle for them at first. Sadly, love does not win every battle, but it has been my experience that it usually wins the war.

Now, communication (or the lack of it) between people is a regular theme of mine since I first started writing poetry years ago. It continues to strike me as ironic that in this Age of Technology that has given us mobile phones and the Internet, there are many, many people out there who never really talk to each other.

I learned the art of listening and talking things through from my mother. My father and brother never did; neither would take any interest in what anyone had to say unless they were likely to agree. As for even trying to enter into someone else’s point of view, that was completely beyond them. It led to all kinds of tensions at home. In time, especially being gay, I began to realise that this, for the majority of people, was the rule rather than the exception.

For years, I envied two straight friends who seemed to have everything; a great relationship with each other; a beautiful home; successful careers... One died of a heart-related illness and a hundred or so family and friends packed the little churchyard where he was laid to rest. Later that day, I found myself alone with his partner and commented how fortunate they were to have had 20 great years together.

‘Well, one great dream year anyway,' she confided. 'After that, just nineteen years of more dreaming because it was easier to go along with the damn dream than admit the reality. We should have split up years ago.'

‘I don’t understand,’ I said.

‘Nor did he,’ murmured my friend. ‘That was our reality.’ She looked right at me. ‘I won’t miss it, Roger. I certainly won’t be shedding any tears over it. We were like manikins in a shop window for years. Who's fool enough to cry over a manikin, eh?’ She walked away, dry-eyed and as pale as a ghost. Weeks later, she moved away and did not keep in touch. The last I heard about a year ago, she has a new partner, a baby, and is very happy.

Ah, but who knows what goes on behind closed doors...?

BEHIND CLOSED DOORS

I’d hear a knocking at the window,
a creaking on the stair,
but every time I looked for you,
you were never there

I’d write you unfinished love poems,
sing your praises in your ear,
but every time you looked at me,
I was never there

We’d join rambles in the countryside,
ride on dodgems at the fair,
but every time I looked for you,
you were never there

I’d bring you flowers from the garden
we’d nurture and share,
but every time you looked at me,
I was never there

The perfect couple, we’d hear them say,
an irony I learned to bear;
whenever I looked to you for love,
you were never there

Ghosts, come alive in chance memories
of the after-dinner kind,
a template for wishful thinking
written on the wind

Copyright R. N. Taber 2011

[Note:I plan to include this poem in my new collection - Tracking the Torchbearer - for which I am collating poems for its publication, spring 2012.]

Shaping the Clay

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

As regular readers know, most if not all my love poems are written with my late partner in mind even though he died many years ago and we only had a relatively short time together.Today’s simple poem has not appeared on the blog since 2009; it is repeated today for new readers and especially for ‘Christina’ who has been in touch recently to say she came across the poem by chance while browsing the blog archives and it made her cry. Apparently, it had upset her deeply that she had never been unable to cry for her partner, killed in a random attack by a mentally ill person some months ago ...  until now.

I feel very moved and privileged to have helped ease her pain even just a little. She said ‘thank you’ but it is me who must thank her. I ask you, what more praiseworthy comment on a poem can any poet ask?

'Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.' - Aristotle

And strange to tell, among that Earthen lot

some could articulate, while others not:

And suddenly one more impatient cried—

"Who is the Potter, pray, and who the Pot?"  -  The Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam                                                                                                               [as rendered into English by Edward Fitzgerald]

This poem is a villanelle.

SHAPING THE CLAY

It’s love sustains me every day,
bad times, good times, whatever
although my lover passed away

It doesn’t matter that I am gay,
there are ties death dare not sever;
it’s love sustains me every day

I listen to what the season’s say,
and take my cue from Earth Mother
although my lover passed away

While some despair I’ll not pray
to God, (mine the Spirit of Nature);
it’s love sustains me every day

Highs and lows, come what may,
thoughts of spring defeating winter,
although my lover passed away

Shaping my will to live, like clay
in the hands of a centuries-old potter,
it’s love sustains me every day
although my lover passed away

Copyright R. N. Taber 2009

Going with Nature

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

[Update Jan 5, 2017 Since writing this poem, the title has taken on a new (additional) meaning for me as I was diagnosed with prostate cancer in February 2011. retired from giving poetry readings around the UK a few months before a bad fall 20 2014 which resulted in my having to learn to walk again.Nature has been on my side and now I am able to get out and about quite well with my walking stick. Living with prostate cancer poses a not dissimilar challenge.Friends are very supportive but some men (gay and straight alike) with whom I have chatted at the Cancer Centre have no one and rely on Prostate Cancer UK for help and support. So I have decide to give a poetry reading (a mixture of gay-interest and general poems on various subjects) on National Poetry Day (March 21, 2017) to try and raise funds for Prostate Cancer UK. If enjoy my blog/s and happen to be in London or nearby, you are more than welcome to come along' should you also feel able to donate as much or as little as you can afford in a very worthy cause via my JustGiving page, so much the better. Cheers!]

https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/Roger-Taber

Meanwhile...

Today’s poem has not appeared on the blog since 2009 and I am posting it again today especially for those young people who write in from time to time expressing doubts and dismay about ‘coming out’ to family and friends. It is never easy, and must be a person's own decision no one else's. Yes, I encourage people to come out, but I respect the fact that some people can't or won't for whatever reason. Sadly, there are still far too many LGBT-unfriendly environments where socio-cultural-religious conventions remain in force.

Many if not most gay people who dread coming out are pleasantly surprised to discover that friends and family have already guessed they are gay and certainly think no less of them for it. Sadly, there are always exceptions, but most towns and cities have LGBT support groups now that can be located o the Internet and are well worth a visit.

It strikes me that we live in too much of a one-upmanship society. It is bad enough in adult life but young people especially should not feel they are in competition with anyone, but feel free to go their own way, cherish and follow their own aspirations, including sexuality, no matter that some people might try to put them down for it.

There are far too many small-minded people about who seem to think someone is a nobody unless he or she is somebody and you can only be somebody by wearing the right clothes, being seen at the right places and being part of what is invariably a rubbish ‘in-crowd’ or (worse still) a street gang.

As my dear late mother once said, the best thing you can do for yourself is BE yourself.

This poem is a villanelle.

GOING WITH NATURE

No point in competing with peers
(it doesn’t matter what others say)
where a sandman has other ideas

They will but shed crocodile tears
each time we seem to lose our way;
no point in competing with peers

We know to face up to our fears
and learn to mould them to our clay
where a sandman has other ideas

By whatever hopes a parent steers,
each child needs to find its own way;
no point in competing with peers

An early mist, so quickly it clears,
fair Apollo left free to carry the day
where a sandman has other ideas

Above all things, nature endures,
keeping faith with us, straight or gay;
no point in competing with peers
where a sandman has other ideas

Copyright R. N. Taber 2009

LGBT, Candidates for a Brave New World

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

Here’s a new poem today, courtesy of a reader who got in touch to say he enjoys my general blog and asks ‘Why do you waste your time and talents writing gay rubbish?’

What can I say?

He is entitled to his point of view of course, but I felt compelled to make time to compose a new gay-interest poem. It may not be ‘great’ poetry, but a lot of readers enjoy identifying with poems that treat sexuality like any other theme, as natural and acceptable as love poems, nature poems, whatever. Is that not how we gay men and women deserve to be perceived by the heterosexual majority, natural and acceptable? Oh, but I wish! Sadly, we still have a way to go on that Front. Gay people continue have a tough time in some parts of the southern hemisphere. Neither should we in the West ever become complacent about a perceptibly rising tide of homophobia discreetly and less discreetly stage-managed by bigots from all walks of life.

LGBT, CANDIDATES FOR A BRAVE NEW WORLD

I walked into a bar
if for no obvious reason
than it was there;
I wasn’t even thirsty,
but felt the need to enjoy
convivial company

Immediately, my mind
tuned in to an atmosphere
of a different kind;
human shapes, voices,
seemed to have an affinity
with closet choices

Where I had restlessly
dogpaddled indifferent seas,
a strangeness took me;
anxiously, my body
soaked it all up, relishing
a quiet ecstasy

I looked around a while,
and sexuality caught my eye
with a winning smile;
I felt reassured,
a sense of belonging to this
brave new world

I ordered another beer,
was soon swivelling my hips
on the dance floor;
someone took the slack,
wrapped me in welcome arms,
no looking back

Copyright R. N. Taber 2011

Sometimes Sex Will Do

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

Now, one reader says his family and friends think he is ‘...shallow and some sort of sex addict because I play the field a lot.’ Well, he is only 19 so there’s plenty of time yet to think about settling down if and when he finds someone with whom he wants to spend the rest of his life. In the meantime, if you have a high sex drive, ‘playing the field’ beats jerking off alone any day!

The poem appeared on the blog I write especially for gay readers (everyone welcome) in May 2009. Since including it in my new collection, On the Battlefields of Love, another reader has been in touch to ask why it has not appeared on this blog ‘...if only because straight people need reminding about protected sex too.’ He has a point, and to be honest, I didn’t realise I hadn’t posted it here before.

It is a myth that only men (gay or straight) go looking for sex. Women ‘cruise’ too. Look around at your next party, disco or gig and you’ll see what I mean.

That’s ok. We’re all only human. Sexual frustration is natural enough and - so long as we take precautions (it’s not only HIV-AIDS that can result from unprotected sex and some venereal diseases can cause infertility) - satisfying it is nothing to get judgemental about.

Just remember, especially you younger folks, cruising rarely provides more than a one-night stand. No relationship based only on sex ever stood a cat in hell’s chance of lasting.

No, I’m not knocking sex. I may be something of a sheltered flower as I grow old(er) but I’ve made my share of making-hay-in-the-sunshine days…

Let's face it. Gay or straight, male or female, love can be elusive, and such is the chemistry between two people sometimes that sex more than compensates if only for the Here and Now. As for all our tomorrows...well, who knows?

This poem is a villanelle.

SOMETIMES SEX WILL DO

Come night falling on a city,
I took a road I didn’t know,
its lights looking out for me

Everyone kept smiling at me
like celebrities on show,
come night falling on a city

Self-conscious of a sexuality,
(companion to my shadow)
its lights looking out for me

I entered a bar half-hopefully,
willing my shadow follow,
come night falling on a city

A god dipped my immaturity
in a bright neon glow,
its lights looking out for me

In a vainglorious 21st century,
raising a glass to Soho,
come night falling on a city,
its lights looking out for me

Copyright R. N. Taber 2010; 2016

[Note: For the benefit of overseas readers, Soho is historically a very gay-friendly area of central London. However, you can have a good time here whatever your sexual persuasion]

[From: On the Battlefields of Love by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2010]

G-A-Y, an Education

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

[Update, May 18th 2019]: There have been protests here in the UK from parents of various ethnic origins regarding the teaching of sex education in schools, especially concerning matters LGBT.
Can they not see that education is a basic learning tool for life, neither judgemental nor prejudiced but preparing children and young people for what they can expect to find beyond the school gates. Needs must they make up their own minds, all the more discerning (surely?) for being acquainted with plain facts rather than stereotypes dressed up as home truths open to abuse.]

I laughed once when a friend warned me that writing blogs quickly becomes an addiction! Ah, but she was so right. I really missed you all yesterday. Even so, I have a good reason for dropping by after receiving a call from ‘Alex’ who I have no way of contacting. Alex’s family will have nothing to do with him after he told them only recently that he is gay. Sadly, this is not as rare a case in this so-called ‘liberal’ northern hemisphere as I would like it to be. Alex didn’t say if he is staying with friends or on the streets. Please contact me again, Alex, and I will do my best to help you. [As a librarian all my working life, mostly in public libraries, it was my job to refer people to information/help sources.] If you have access to the Internet, there are LGBT support groups and networks around the country so see if there is one in your area.

Young gay people would not find themselves in this situation if more parents and schools encouraged intelligent debate about relationships, including gay relationships, instead of trying to pretend no son, daughter or student of theirs could possible be gay.

Young people regularly contact me to say they enjoy reading this gay-interest blog because it helps them feel better about themselves and less guilty about an awakening (or already wide awake) homosexuality. I despair I really do of those who, even in this 21st century of ours, continue to make gay boys and girls, men and women, feel ashamed of their sexuality. Worse, some people do it in the name of religion! All I can say if that any God would be ashamed of them. And, no, I am not only saying that because I am gay. As regular readers know only too well, I had given up on religion by the time I was 10 years-old. I wasn’t able to articulate ro myself about and acknowledge being gay until a few years later.

Well, let the bigots try and put us down. We know differently and, my goodness, we will show them we are every bit as decent a human being as any of them. Sadly, all the while so many misleading and offensive stereotypes of gay people continue to attach themselves to the less enlightened person's imagination, change for the better will be slow in many parts of the world, including pockets of the West where homophobia is alive and kicking. .

Never, but never, let anyone put you down for being gay. If someone has a problem with it, it’s their problem, not yours.

Okay, so I have said much a same thing in many of the near thousand gay-interest posts on the blog so far. But as my dear, late, mother used to say, if something is worth saying in the first place, it is always worth repeating.

G-A-Y, AN EDUCATION

I gave little thought
to sexuality until one day at school,
a classmate brushed against me
in the showers, causing a Tsunami
of mixed feelings to descend
on me, carry me away, refuting
every thought and lesson
I’d been taught in the best interests
of so-called ‘Education’

I had to turn away
so he would not see or (worse) let on
to others how my sexuality
had responded to the heat and silk
of his splendid body
as, naked, we washed ourselves clean
though some would say
I was the victim of a temptation
to let my self sin

I resisted temptation,
but no victim was I that day, only shown
an alternative way to live, love,
and fulfil what I had long suspected
was desire in me, but rejected
as an unknown quantity, preferring
to keep to safe, well-worn paths
in the preferred manner and direction
of so-called ‘Education’

I learned a much valued lesson that day,
acknowledged I am gay

Copyright R. N. Taber 2011

[Update: This poem appears in the gay-interest section of my latest collection, Tracking the Torchbearer by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2012.]