http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber
There is a closet some people choose or are forced to live in. The
longer we stay in that cold, dark place, the stranger it can feel at first
when we find the courage (and growing self-confidence) to come out into the open. Any sense of self-consciousness, though, is quickly overtaken by a quiet pride, growing self-confidence and inner
euphoria.
Regular
readers will know I believe very strongly that the decision to be openly gay is a matter of personal choice. Sadly, some gay people
live under repressive regimes and don’t have that choice. Others chose not to rock
the family boat for various socio-cultural-religious reasons. However, make no
mistake, coming out sets an example from which other closet gay boys and girls,
men and women, can take heart, and hopefully find the inner strength to follow.
I had
spent many years as a tormented youth and young man in the closet during the
1960s and early-mid 1970s before I finally emerged into daylight never to
return. It took a severe nervous
breakdown to make me see I needed to be honest with myself and others if I were
to get a life really worth having. A
gay friend to whom I looked up, and whose self-confidence I envied, reassured me
there is no stigma attached to being gay, whatever anyone from any country or culture may insist; nor
is it unnatural, but the way we are born. Those who try to impose stigma upon us
are twisted bigots, nothing more or less, and we should be glad we are better
than that. The least we can do, my friend said, is attempt to educate the ignorant
and less enlightened among the heterosexual majority about gay issues; as much
for the sake of future generations of gay people, their families and friends as
for ourselves.
My friend’s
words are an inspiration to me even now, years on.
You can laugh, but I was further inspired by that lovely song Secret Love first sung by the legendary Doris Day in the musical Calamity Jane, and no better version since; it is a love song, and no way a gay love song in the context of the film, yet it gave me food for thought and helped me realise that, gay or straight, love could not care less. I have adored Doris Day ever since.
It is a savage
indictment on the 21st century that there is still of LOT of educating
to do about what it means to be gay. Only the
other day, I saw some young people taunting two men holding hands as they
walked down a London street with homophobic abuse. Yes, London UK, that place
where many gay people claim ‘gays have never had it so good.’ That may well be
true, but it plainly is not good enough.
O-U-T
Once I’d
told the world I’m gay,
I felt as
though everyone could see
right
through me
Once I’d
told the world I’m gay,
I felt a
growing affinity with my pc
everyone
tapping into me
Once I’d
told the world I’m gay,
I sensed
everyone taking a good look
over this
newspaper, that book
Once I’d
told the world I’m gay,
I started
haunting gay clubs and bars
like an
alien from Mars
Once I’d
told the world I’m gay,
I’d
imagine every guy on every street
on his
back and up for it
Once I’d
told the world I’m gay,
I used to
wonder if it would ever be
comfortable
with my sexuality
Once I’d
told the world I’m gay,
it all
but cajoled me to give sex a miss
till I
shared my first gay kiss
Copyright
R. N. Taber 1989; 2010
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