Now, Voyager or G-A-Y, Quantum Leap

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Bad times are inclined to haunt us, but that’s not always such a bad thing if it makes us concentrate on and be thankful for the good times, inspires or even goads us to beat any unfriendly ghosts of the past at their own game if only by taking that quantum leap most likely to give us a chance to shape up for a better, kinder future…

'The untold want by life and land ne'er granted,
Now, voyager, sail thou forth, to seek and find.' (Walt Whitman)

NOW, VOYAGER or G-A-Y, QUANTUM LEAP 

The night I walked was cold
and dark, seemingly without end,
no star in the sky
to guide me on my weary way
nor Man in the Moon
pretending to watch over me,
be a friend

The road I walked was cold
and dark, seemingly without end,
my lonely world,
a sorry place, heavy heart
an everyday load
for no one to watch over me,
be a friend

I fell to my knees and cried,
bitter tears, seemingly without end,
and after a while
the night grew less cold and dark
as a sick, pale, moon
appeared, seemed badly in need
of a friend

One by one, fading stars came
to assure me a new day was near,
and sure enough
dawn blinked at the end of my tunnel,
urging me on to its end,
daring to believe I’d find in Apollo
a true friend

The world I walked was cold
and dark, no comfort in night or day
as I all but gave up
on it, scared of its discovering I’m gay,
till woken by his breath
on my face to all the light and heat
of love on Earth


Copyright R. N. Taber 2013

Winter Warmers

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It is only human nature to be curious. From time to time, people have asked me (usually in good faith) what it’s like to be gay. They might as well have asked what it’s like to be a human being.  It is our differences, after all, that make us human.

These days, the same people are more likely to ask what it’s like to be growing old! (I was 68 yesterday, the winter solstice.)

Now, some people warn against looking back and insist we should only look forward. I see where they are coming from, but as I get older, I take great pleasure in mulling over happy times. Moreover, I come through the experience feeling more ready, willing and able to take on whatever the future may have in store, including death.  No, I am not being morbid. Death is as much a part of life as life itself so where’s the harm in thinking about it sometimes? Thinking about issues can lend them a degree of familiarity in the mind’s eye; the more familiar we are with them, the less afraid we become.

I have had my fair share of ups and downs in life and had to cope with regular bouts of depression since early childhood. Even so, in the sense that I don’t have the HIV-AIDS virus, I have led a charmed life!  

While relatively few of my gay-interest poems are strictly autobiographical, there is a lot of ‘me’ in all of them as I try to recapture something of that charmed life and pass it on for others to enjoy.

  

COMFORT AND JOY

The hair is greyer

than yesterday;

one more furrow

on the brow;

sight a shade less clear

than it used to be;

hearing, yes, definitely

getting worse…

What now?

A kind heart beats

as yesterday;

no fewer dreams

to inspire…

still time enough to learn

from life’s ups

and downs, good to chat

with old friends…

By the fire

Counting blessings

in the flames;

seeing (oh, so, clearly)

my flaws, mistakes,

but at peace with myself,

and my sexuality,  

mortality, too, since even

at my worst…

I did my best

Copyright R. N. Taber 2002; 2011

[Note: This poem has been slightly but significantly revised from an earlier version that first appeared in an anthology, Mind Games, Poetry Today (Forward Press) 2001 and subsequently in  First Person Plural by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2002.]

Wishing the World Love and Peace (Not just for Christmas)

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The Christmas Peace of 1914 is legendary. On Christmas Eve 1914, men of the British Expeditionary Force (B.E.F.) heard German troops in the trenches opposite singing carols, spotted lanterns and small fir trees along their trenches. They started shouting messages to each other and the following day, British and German troops met in no man’s land to exchange gifts, take photographs and even play impromptu games of football. Tragically it made no difference to four more years of the war meant to end all wars…  

If Christmas and other religious festivals are about peace and love, why don’t we see more of it in everyday life? 

For those lovers (gay or straight) who have found both in a meaningful relationship with each other, family, and friends…ENJOY. 

For those lovers (gay or straight) who are less fortunate, ENJOY every precious moment with each other. 

Can there be any greater comfort and joy than love? For religious minded people, may they enjoy their festivals, but let’s all remember that religion has no more a monopoly grip on love than it has on the human spirit.

If Christmas and other religious festivals are about peace and love, why don’t we see more of it in everyday life?

For those (gay or straight) who have found both in a lasting, meaningful relationship with each other, family, and friends…ENJOY.

For those  (gay or straight) who are less fortunate, ENJOY every precious moment with each other.

Can there be any greater comfort and joy than love? For religious minded people, may they enjoy their festivals, but let’s all remember that religion has no more a monopoly grip on love than it has on the human spirit.

This poem is a villanelle.

WISHING THE WORLD LOVE AND PEACE (NOT JUST FOR CHRISTMAS)

One day, close to Christmas,

long, long, ago…

cock robin sang for us

Bigots had been unkind to us,

dealt a savage blow

one day, close to Christmas

Icy rain, camouflage for tears

we refused to show

cock robin sang for us

A kind snowman hid our fears

under a coat of snow;

one day, close to Christmas

In a time of gifts and promises

(prayers to follow?)

cock robin sang for us

Love, defying even wintry years
to chill us to the marrow;

one day, close to Christmas,

cock robin sang for us…

Copyright R. N. Taber 2008

Angel at my Shoulder

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I first fell in love with another guy when I was a teenager back in 1962. He was killed in a motorcycle accident. Gay relationships were a criminal offence in the UK then so I had to mourn him alone. While he was not the love of my life, I still think about our relationship even now, some 50+ years later.  He was on my mind, too, when I wrote this poem some time later, originally as a song lyric with friends with whom I hoped to co-write a gay musical. The musical never saw the light of day (story of my life!) and we all went our separate ways.

Photo taken from the Internet

Later, I revised the lyric slightly as a poem and it appeared in an anthology prior to my including in in my second collection. Recently, I felt it was crying out to be (slightly, but significantly) revised again.

 ANGEL AT MY SHOULDER 

When I'm lonely,

you're the angel at my shoulder;

when the going gets rough

I take my strength from you;

you're a joy, an inspiration

in everything I do. I’ve loved you

from the start…

When you gave me change

for the telephone, I gave you back

my heart

When I'm hurting,

you’re  the angel at my shoulder;

you're the one who soothes

this savage breast. Time and again,

you ease my pain,

inspire me to try and be better man;

If I’ve screwed up many times

in life, to hell with the rest,

sweet angel at my shoulder, you're

the best

When I’m happy

you’re the angel at my shoulder,

and it’s only because

I know you're always there…

Sometimes, I cannot see

for looking where you are, panic,

and lash out in cold, dark, fear

till I hear you whisper a love poem  

in my ear, my guardian angel, my own

bright star 

Copyright R. N. Taber 2001; 2013

[Note: A slightly different version of this poem first appeared in an anthology Chasing Dreams, Poetry Today (Forward Press) 2001 and subsequently in First Person Plural by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2002]

More Sinned against than Sinning

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Just because I take my spirituality from nature rather than from religion doesn’t mean I don’t have every respect for those who find their spirituality elsewhere. While I may not believe in a personified God…what’s in a name?

My argument is not with religion but with a predilection for sheer hypocrisy that many of its followers frequently demonstrate by denying gay people the right to not only live in peace but also within the parameters of whatever religion they choose to follow. As I have said many times…take the humanity out of religion and all you have is a dogma and ritual that are precious little more than ornamental.

In a Channel 4 Despatches program about the persecution of gay people in many parts of Africa, one interviewee made the important point that it was not  homosexuality but homophobia the West brought to Africa. I agree. In particular, Christian fundamentalism has a lot to answer for.

A reader of African origin (he doesn’t say where) sent in a tragic tale on which I have based this poem, written for those gay people across the world still persecuted by socio-cultural-religious bigots who claim to speak with this ‘higher authority’ or that. 

Tragically, many followers of religion put their leaders on a pedestal, accepting their bigotry as gospel. Thankfully, though, there are many others with open hearts and minds that know better.

MORE SINNED AGAINST THAN SINNING 

We kept our secret for years;

no one guessed we were lovers

till one day someone

walked in on us, discovered us

making love, as people do;

hours later, someone set fire

to our home, thinking

we cowered fearfully inside

but already we had found

a place to hide, yet knew we’d be

tracked down, only a matter

of time before human decency lost

and religious bigotry won

Why should we be on the run,

who had done no harm to anyone,

lovers who just happen

to be two men, forced to live

on borrowed time in a community

corrupted by religious bigotry?

Spawn of the Devil they call us,

so-called Christians who, in their turn,

can but call on Leviticus,

conveniently forgetting how Jesus

came to bring Light,

to the world, not Terror serving

some darker power

No hungrier for power than those

who see themselves as better than us

who simply get on with our lives,

discovering in our love for each other

a dream that lasts forever;

no lonelier, in reality, than the teacher

tortured by self-delusion,

hell bent upon turning even the stuff

of religious conviction

into tragic illusion for having chosen

to side with its destruction…

until a sleeplessness that lasts forever

in the grip of Earth Mother

Copyright R. N. Taber 2012; 2016

[Note: This poem first appears under the title 'No Case to Answer' in Tracking the Torchbearer 
by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2012]

Getting the Better of Bad Attitude

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

A neighbour once spotted my poetry readings on You Tube and  told me I should be ashamed of myself for comments along the lines that homosexuality is not a matter of choice but the sexuality with which we are born and should not be considered unnatural. He takes the view that homosexuality is 'as unnatural as it gets.' Oh, well, it's true what they say. You can please some of the people some of the time, but you can't please all the people all the time. [Do I care?]

Until 1967, gay relationships were illegal here in the UK. We should not forget that in some parts of the world they still are, even here in the so-called ‘liberal’ West. Gay people whose family origins are rooted in a culture intrinsically hostile to same sex relationships have as tough a time now as many of us did years ago. It all depends whether or not we are growing up in a gay-friendly environment. Those of us who are comfortable with being openly gay should not rush to judge those who feel obliged – for whatever reason – to stay in the damn closet.

Someone contacted me after reading this poem in my collection borrowed from a public library to ask, ‘How can being gay possibly have anything to do with our spiritual identity and well-being as God intended?’ Well, if he (or she) reads either of my poetry blogs or any of my other collection it should be clear that we don’t share the same concept of God. I take a sense of spirituality from nature, not religion. Why? Well, as regular know only too well, it is because nature doesn’t discriminate between this sense of identity or that. The reader only gave a screen name, and my email bounced back when I tried to reply. (Could I have touched a nerve, I ask myself?)

True, sexual identity is only a part of a whole, but it is integral to who we are and how we live our lives; if we need a strategy for identity at all, it is (surely?) taking pride in that and finding the self-confidence to carry on regardless.

Being gay is no crime; what is criminal and inexcusable is using hate as a weapon to justify violence against others; it has to be among the very worst of human failings, invariably a cowardly expression of frustrations and shortcomings that do not bear close self-scrutiny by the perpetrators for fear of their being made to confront them. 

Gay bashing is not the only form of hate crime, of course, and no civilized society- or community - should tolerate it in any shape or form.

GETTING THE BETTER OF BAD ATTITUDE

Once, being gay was a crime,

g-a-y not invented for sexual identity,

dictionary meaning 'strikingly pretty’

while ‘homosexual’ the more polite term

in village, town, and city

Invariably, we would hear

queer, pouf, homo, fag or even shirt-lifter

hurled as a term of (everyday) abuse

at anyone even suspected of harbouring

intimate thoughts and desires

towards a same sex lover (real or fantasy)

daring (heaven forbid) to light fires

in the hearts of those others

who, too, longed to dive under covers

and be true (if well out of sight)

to a secret self dying to tell all and burst

into orgasm, forced instead to follow

convention, be seen to live 

a ‘normal’ life (whatever that might be) 

according to criteria laid down 

by a society verging on hysteria for its inability 

to see woods for trees 

or its so-called betters for their hypocrisies 

but, rather, preferring to take 

the moral high, cite this or that religion-speak,

cross the street rather than chance 

looking a suspect homosexual in the eye, 

acknowledge his or her right 

to draw breath in a world forever

heard protesting that a common humanity 

actually exists

Alas, bigotry persists, old prejudices

as likely to win the day as new laws meant

to embrace, reaffirm, and reinforce

a basic Human Right to live and let live,

gay or straight

Time passes, and bad attitudes (hopefully);

no room (ever) for complacency

Copyright R. N. Taber 2010; 2016

[Note: This poem has been slightly revised (2013) and the title revised (2016) from an earlier version as it appears as 'A Strategy for Identity' in On the Battlefields of Love by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2010.] 

The Last Chameleon

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Never, but never give up on love. Many of us do just that. (Gay people perhaps a shade more easily than our heterosexual counterparts?)  Whatever, there are, of course, exceptions to every rule (especially the self-imposed variety) in which we should all take heart.

It is invariably those critics convinced they have our best interests at heart that will do their best to obstruct us by raising the worst of daunting barriers, whether it be colour, creed, sex, sexuality or even ageism. 

By all means, let's look before we leap if only so we can be as sure as far as we can be sure of anything or anyone where we will land, and what we are likely to find there.  

Fallen out with love? Oh, but let's prove the cynics wrong who insist Happy-Ever-After is just a fairy tale, and GO for it... 

THE LAST CHAMELEON

Never thought to fall in love again,

as time passes like kisses in the rain,

sunlight on the sea, moonbeams

chasing shadows, just as we would,

he and I, long gone, a dream to cherish

though desire all but perished, a fire

left to smoulder as I grew older - until

I met you

At first glance, extinguished flames

leapt and began dancing a light fantastic

on my heart, feeding its sleeping coals,

storming my defences, ravishing me

where I stand for just holding your hand,

engaging your smile, old gods laughing

at my heartbeat’s mad leaping, your voice

washing over me, watching lips move

I so long to kiss, wondering what to say,

to let you know I mean every word,

how it's you inspiring me, conspiring

with a stirring sexuality, no thought

even of teasing you, only pleasing you,

blood coursing older veins than yours,

winging fair Avalon’s towers in the poetry

of our being together

Love, soulmates, lifelines joined together

or meant to pass at tangents to each other,

(whatever, fate will have its way with us);

Happy, wishful, ecstatic, a roller coaster

running madly, truly, deeply, every moment

well worth the sharing, caring, giving,

and taking that is love in all shapes and forms,

chameleon thought lost, home at last

Copyright R. N. Taber 2005; 2012

[Note: An earlier version of this poem appears in A Feeling For The Quickness of Time by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2005.]

G-A-Y, The Next Generation

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Regular readers will know that I include poems on a gay theme in general rather than specifically gay poetry collections. All my books are divided into sections, including a gay section, although in later years I have included more gay-interest poems in other sections too.

Now and then (straight) people get in touch to complain that they found a title of mine on their local public library shelves and were shocked and/or disgusted to discover it included gay material. All I can say is that they are not genuine poetry lovers (as well as being bigots) because a poem is a poem is a poem, whatever its theme.

Similarly, of course, people are people are people, whatever their sexuality, which is precisely the point I am making by not publishing my gay-interest poems separately. Fortunately, my titles sell well (for poetry) and most readers seem to enjoy the variety of gay and general poems, in various poetic forms, set out in seven easy-to-read sections.

Oh, and on the subject of approval and disapproval...

Yesterday, I was delighted to spot two young men, plainly in love, walking hand in hand down a street near where I live. Some people gave them funny looks but most paid them scant if any attention at all. I thought, how nice, and how different to when I was a young man more years ago than I care to remember! Hopefully, a day will come when gay men and women can walk down any street in any part of the world, hold hands and even pause for a kiss the way heterosexual couples do (all the time) here in the West.

Those countries whose leaders disapprove of and even persecute gay men and women need to come into the 21st century. They won’t be able to hide behind various misinterpretations of various Holy Books forever either. As for those arrogant, puffed-up evangelical Christians, Jesus of Nazareth would be ashamed of them. Jesus was a great advocate of humanity. As I have said before, take the humanity out of any religion and all the prayer and ritual that’s left becomes meaningless. [I may not be a religious person, but I was raised one and know my Holy Bible; friends who follow various religions assure me there is nothing homophobic in their Holy Literature although, rather like statistics, words can be made to say anything that suits if you really put your mind to it.]

After the joy of being in love, the next best feeling in the world has to be letting everyone know it, even (if not especially) those most likely to disapprove. Disapproval, my mother used to say, is invariably a synonym for jealousy. Whatever their sexual persuasion, people in love are invariably happy. Some people just cannot bear to see other people happy if only because it causes them to reflect on their own miserable existence.

G-A-Y, THE NEXT GENERATION

As we walked down

my street together, you held my hand;

people flung us dirty looks,

because they didn’t understand

about falling in love

Outside my front door,

you gave me a big hug and kissed me;

passers-by made rude noises

because they didn’t have a clue

about falling in love

As I fumbled for my key,

you shouted to the street how you felt

about me, and neighbours

turned up their noses at us because

it’s what they do best

As I closed the door after us,

children playing hopscotch in the street

waved a cheery ‘hello’

as if warning us to take no notice

of their stuffy parents

Once inside, we ran upstairs,

laughingly, carefree, still hand in hand,

shutting out a world

that didn’t want to understand

gay men falling in love

Copyright R. N. Taber 2011

Keeping the Faith

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Many gay people are still growing up and living their lives in a gay-unfriendly environment so reconciling themselves to being gay is far from easy; they are haunted (as I was as a youth and young man) by stereotypes that continue to attach themselves to gay men and women across the world.

Some of us manage to break free of the sexual identity imposed on us by formative years in schools (and families) hostile to gay relationships.

Sadly, many don’ …

Sexuality has to be in the genes or how come killions of LGBT people around the world, from all walks of life ... ? It is high time certain cultures and world religions acknowledged this and ceased rto persecute gay people, forcing them to choose between keeping up appearances and living a closet existence or the freedom any mind-body-spirit deserves. Religions of the world preach peace and love to all. Excluding gay and transgender men and women, boys and girls and refusing to accept the  integrity of our sexuakity is nothing less than sheer hypocrisy.

As you know, I am not a religious person, but of this I remain certain ... God is no homophobe.

KEEPING  THE FAITH

A man may try to love a woman,

and does, but the heart always knows

if it lies

My heart sang songs without words

for keeping faith with its tears

as it went through all the motions

of passion but none came even close 

to true love

A man may try not to love man,

but does and the heart, it always knows

why it cries (for all it has missed)

and will sing songs about secrets and lies,

but no one ever hears

as it goes through all the motions

of paying lip service to such stereotypes

bigots perpetuate

Yet, to love takes two and a heart

beating true can no more resist another

than time its tides, chipping away

at a heart made of clay moulded in the image

of its ‘betters’

When he and I kiss, my heart sings

songs of joy, for (finally) keeping faith

with being gay

Copyright R. N. Taber 2013

Know Your Enemy OR Rising Above the Rhetoric

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Some readers have said they would like to read some of my poems again but either can’t find them on the blogs or haven’t time to look; the quickest way is to enter a less obvious keyword in the search field - e.g. education, families, history, human nature, human spirit, mind-body-spirit, positive thinking, self-awareness and any others that catch you eye when coming across a poem you particularly like and/or can relate to.

Meanwhile…

Political correctness is a good thing in many ways, but can be such a pain sometimes, responsible as it is for many people being afraid to say what they really think; in public, anyway. For example, I would rather know if someone is a homophobe or how am I to know he or she is an enemy?  More importantly, how am I supposed to know, unless people are honest with me, that I need to encourage them to develop a more human, positive, responsible attitude towards gay people?  The chances are, they are still very hung up on outdated, misleading and invariably offensive stereotypes.

Gay or straight, there is a lot to be said for making a friend of an enemy; it has to be the best Public Relations ever gets on any field of play.  Ah, yes, but you have to know your enemy first.

Tragically, for many gay people around the world, it is only too clear who the enemy is.

KNOW YOUR ENEMY or RISING ABOVE THE RHETORIC

Some people say there can be no safe haven

for gay men and women in a place (or metaphor)

they think of as ‘Heaven’

Some people say no God would ever tolerate

the kind of so-called ‘sin’ perpetrated by the likes  

of gay men and women

Some people say Holy Books are a measure

of spirituality compensating for any open-minded

take on homosexuality

So who are they that so love to pit humankind

against its own on the grounds of this socio-culture

or that religion?

So who are they who rail against those gay men

and women who are but as we are, and by nature’s

rule not ours?

So who are they who say they side with doves

of peace, and then go to war with such honourable

intentions?

Let them speak who claim to know how God

will have his way with men and women who happen

to be gay

Let them speak who would rail against those

of us who are gay, and don’t let political correctness

win the day

Let them speak who say gays cannot be forgiven

for, oh, such a sin on the grounds of this socio-culture

or that religion

No matter who or where, all humankind deserves

a voice, gay folks too, each of us gifted with a feeling

for freedom

Copyright R. N. Taber 2010; 2011

A Horseman Riding By

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The original version of today’s poem was written in 1974 and appeared in my second collection. I have recently revised and extended it almost beyond recognition, which can happen sometimes when looking back over nearly forty years.

I neither regret my original poems not revising any of them later; just as a poet moves on, so can a poem. [I have no plans to die just yet, but when I do, I dare say my poetry blogs will eventually disappear from the Internet. I therefore intend to leave a permanent record of any revisions I have made to my poems in the form of e-books that I hope to publish in the not too distant future.]

Since early childhood, I have been fascinated by cloud shapes...

A HORSEMAN RIDING BY 

Out of the corner of an eye,

we saw a horseman passing by,

casting long shadows,

pricking the nerves, fair cutting

a dash in a cocked hat

Bold mare, playing her part;

humanity whipping sweat flanks 

to the finishing line;

free rein but to prove themselves,
and (maybe) win hearts 

Clouds passing, birds on wing

bringing us love songs, tall tales
and romantic poems;

a journey through time and space

to heaven knows where 

All secrets, lies, stereotypes

blown away on a kinder wind

than chases us, shouts
abuse every day, we gay lovers 
street cred found wanting 

Horseman in the sky, offering 

mind-body-spirit a free ride

into a dream where differences

co-exist peacefully, and no moral

high ground to put us down

Copyright R. N. Taber 2002; 2013 

[Note: An earlier version of this poem can be found in First Person Plural by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2002.]

G-A-Y (Another) Triumph of the Spirit

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Some readers may be interested to know that have posted Chapter 1 of a new serial, Catching Up with Murder: a novel in three acts on my fiction blog. Hopefully, those readers who enjoyed Predisposed to Murder will also enjoy meeting up with many of the same characters and discovering how they first came together.

Catching Up with Murder is available in paperback from amazon and could well be described as a black comedy in parts; it is not a gay novel as such, but has a strong gay story line that becomes clear and takes off in Act II:

http://rogertaberfiction.blogspot.co.uk/2013/10/catching-up-with-murder-chapter-1.html

Meanwhile…

No matter how the less enlightened among the heterosexual majority might try, you can’t keep a free spirit down…

G-A-Y (ANOTHER) TRIUMPH OF THE SPIRIT

Once I was scared to admit I am gay,

for falling victim to a parental dismay

that might see me retract what I say

In nightmares, I’d confess I am gay,

family disowning me, driving me away;

friends, too, let ignorance win the day

Alone I would struggle with an identity

taunting me with its desire to be free,

haunting me with a passionate cruelty

I was hostage to the old misconception

that would trust a blinkered perception

of life and love than the  heart’s intuition

Then I met you and learned to see again

as if through a sweet-smelling misty rain,

tears of Earth Mother nurturing her own

My heart, it opened its petals to the sky,

heaven glad to absolve a sorry soul its lie,

let truth, to these lips, unashamedly fly

Though some condemn us for being gay,

love and friendship will always find a way

through seasonal mists, come what may

  

[From: On the Battlefields of Love by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books 2010.]

Braving the Dream OR Connecting with Missing Links

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This poem was inspired by a recent conversation with a gay immigrant who saw a close friend executed in his home country for being gay. As a result, I find myself looking back to dark years long ago when I was afraid to be openly gay. It has to be one of the twenty-first century’s greater human tragedies that there are still gay men and women across the world who, for one reason or another, feel unable to burst open the closet door, seize and link up with whatever (or whoever) may be missing in their lives. True, it's rarely if ever easy, and even for love there is often a price to pay one way or another ... but it is also true that nothing ventured, nothing gained, and even human cost can often be negotiated to (almost) everyone's satisfaction, although it may well involve everyone concerned agreeing to a degree of compromise; nor does the latter have to be a bad thing, especially in a good cause.

Even here, in London UK, I know and meet men and women, young and older, who remain convinced that being gay is a stigma they have no wish to parade like a pink, inverted,  triangle in a concentration camp.(For all its faults, the world today is better than that, surely?)

Oh, but what an unfulfilled life!

Oh, but what a waste of humanity’s capacity for love!

Oh, but what an indictment on certain socio-cultural-religious constraints on the individual worldwide simply because he or she happens to be gay!

Ah, but we should never underestimate love’s capacity for victory over its adversaries, especially over arrogant, bigoted, fools who like to think they know better. The latter can discriminate as much as they like, oppress us as much as they like, but love is better than that, and gay love is no exception. 

At time's Endgame, oppressed people everywhere (gay or straight) will prove their worth and get the upper hand; if we can help make that happen sooner rather than latter, all the better.  

.   

BRAVING THE DREAM or CONNECTING WITH MISSING LINKS

Once, I hid my feelings away

scared of what people might say

if they knew I’m gay;

afraid, too, of my feelings for you

and what you might say if you knew

I’m gay

My feelings, they wanted out,

to brave whatever  people may say

once they know I’m gay;

brave, too, my feelings for you,

whatever you may say once you know

I’m gay

Shut in a closet dark and cold,

scared of missing out, growing old,

a love story left untold;

afraid, too, you’ll never know

how I love making love with you so

in my dreams

My dreams, they wanted out,

to brave whatever  people may say

once they know I’m gay;

brave, too, my feelings for you,

whatever you may say once you know

I’m gay

One day, I forced the closet door,

braved the stares, sunlight, and more;

suddenly, scared and unsure;

braved, too, my feelings for you,

set my spirit free, let my mind run true,

body in tears

My body, it so wanted out,

to brave whatever  people might say

now they know I’m gay;

now their turn to choose how to be

about your feelings once hid from me,

afraid to be gay  

Years for years, tears for tears,

we braved each other’s worst fears;

suddenly proud and sure;

braved, too, a gay love laid bare

for the world, our  joy to share if it dare

end its nightmares

Copyright R. N. Taber 2013

Children of No Lesser God

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

[Update: March 25 2018]: A young gay man recently emailed me to ask how he can live with himself for being gay when his religion also means everything to him?  Well, i am not a religious person myself but I am no fool, either, and only a fool would honestly believe that God is a homophobe. Whatever a person's religion, its Holy Books preach peace and love, not bigotry. I have also had emails telling me I am naive to think this way, but we must agree to differ. To any young man or woman who knows, at heart, they are gay. I say don't let your religion prevent you from living your life as you want.need to live it. God is not your enemy, no matter how hard religious dogma may try to persuade you otherwise. I only know this young man as 'Michael' and do not have an email address for him as he made contact via the Comments box but please feel free to get in touch again should you feel the need. As regular readers well know, I don't post comments, but always read them and will always reply if you include an e-address; mine, as the blog heading is rogertab@aol.com.]

Meanwhile...

Some time ago, a gay friend and I were chased by three young homophobic thugs on our way home after a pleasant evening out. We escaped unhurt but I could so easily be telling a very different tale.

I have met many gay men who have been scarred for life (physically and/ or emotionally) by homophobic attacks. It is worse than being mugged, although the results can be as bad. The reason I say this (having been the victim of both) is because a homophobic attack is so much more personal. A mugger is after what we have by way of cash, etc. but a homophobe actively hates his (or her) perception of who we ARE.

Although we cannot always avoid the various slings and arrows of the world’s homophobes, we dare not let these pathetic specimens of humankind get the upper hand… nor will we, though they be found in all corners of all societies.

Those readers who email from time to time to ask why I am living in a time warp would do well to remember that in some societies being gay is still punishable by imprisonment, even death.

As for the free(er)West, a person's freedom to be openly gay invariably depends on whether or not not he or she happens to be living in a gay-friendly home/school/work environment. This blog tries to encourage all gay men and women, boys and girls, to feel GOOD about themselves.              

"For why is all around us here
As if some lesser god had made the world,
But had not force to shape it as he would?"
 
Alfred Lord Tennyson [Idylls of the King: The Passing of Arthur]

CHILDREN OF NO LESSER GOD

It was the hour of midnight cats;
out of the shadows they came,
waving bottles and baseball bats,
homophobes by any other name

We ran. No sanctuary in the park.
Frantic calls on mobile phones,
aware of the chilling dark poised
to rake over our flesh and bones

They caught us, brought us down
on wet grass spewing up a din;
bats, boots, cheers and flick knives
raking a terrible pain over the skin

Help arrived so the thugs ran away,
their hoots of laughter in the wind
a drumming in the ears come to play
another of life’s battles to its end

The homophobe fights a greater fear
than attacks gay people world over,
long hidden scars as sure to reappear
as a vulnerability gone undercover

Poor fools, attacking human sexuality
for fear of relating to its humanity

Copyright R. N. Taber 2010; 2013

[Note: This poem has been slightly revised (2013) from an earlier version as it appears in On the Battlefields of Love by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2010.]