https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber
I published the poem below on my general blog in May 2012. As well as the abusive emails I received in response to it at the time were some from closet gay people and gay-friendly straight readers who were pleased to find a gay-interest poem on a general poetry blog; all were hoping for 'more gay-friendly societies worldwide as our heterosexual brothers and sisters learn to live and let live', as one reader from a very gay-unfriendly African country put it. Yes, more have learned to do just that although , in my experience, there remains a prevailing bad attitude towards LGBT folks just about everywhere, although I dare say exponents of political correctness will argue differently. My problem there, though, is that what people say and what they think are often poles apart as their subsequent behaviour (when not under any authoritative microscope) illustrates Even so, hope springs eternal ...
Now, I am happily, openly gay. But it wasn’t always that way.
As regular readers will know, I am still haunted now and then by dark, cold, closet years when I was afraid to tell anyone. Throughout my youth and early years of young manhood, gay relationships were illegal here in the UK. Yet, even after these were decriminalised, I was still more in that damn closet than out of it.
Part of the reason I hesitated to be openly gay was that I had such trouble shrugging off all the offensive stereotypes with which I had been burdened for years. Another reason was that I could rely on no support from family or friends for much the same reason. In many areas there are support groups available now; there is also a LOT of support available on the Internet that includes access to gay forums. [Always keep your wits about you when chatting to people on the web, though, as not everyone is as genuine as they may seem.]
Much has changed for the better since those dark days some 30+ years ago. Many of the stereotypes still exist but are countered these days by supportive (rather than just defensive) arguments, and in some parts of the world gay men and woman can turn to Equal Rights legislation.; in other parts of the world, though, there is none of this and gay people, especially young gay people, are suffering much as I did all those years ago.
It has to stop. Societies whose leaders support anti-gay legislation must be made to see sense by more enlightened societies; political pressure must be brought to bear and seen to be brought to bear.
All the blame for the continuing suffering of all LGBT people, often struggling with their sexual identity and in need of support and reassurance, does not always lie at society’s door. Support and understanding starts in the home. Even in the so-called liberal West, many gay boys and girls, men and women, are (still) living in a gay-unfriendly environment.
Wherever you look, and closer to home than you may think, various socio-cultural-religious anti-gay pressures are being brought to bear on gay people.
As I keep saying and will keep saying, the key to supporting gay people in home, school and workplace lies in educating, family, friends and work colleagues into just what it means to be gay; dismantle all those same stereotypes and arguments that kept me in the closet once and for all. Parents and teachers worldwide must start taking responsibility for this along with just as societies’ less enlightened leaders.
Those readers who get in touch to tell me I am being a dinosaur, things have changed and gays have never had it so good should take a closer look at what is happening in Uganda and many other African countries, for example, also in Russia where gay people amongst others must be aghast at Putin’s policies.
Homophobic hate-crime remains an ugly stain on the human race along with all other acts of physical and verbal abuse committed by perpetrators driven by its prejudices.
CHAIN GANG or DOING A RUNNER
Shovelling lies, bundles at a time,
though wore my hair long and sang,
making out I didn’t give a damn,
breaking my back on a chain gang
Yes, thought about breaking loose,
though rarely let it tease me for long;
couldn’t face ever having to choose
between alter ego and the chain gang
For long hours, days, weeks, years,
I slogged on, never putt a foot wrong;
no one ever saw me shed any tears
for making a career of the chain gang
I knew the politics, chapter and verse,
yet still kept singing the same old song,
ringing changes, for better for worse,
and more new faces on the chain gang
One face lingered in my mind’s eye,
wry grins sure to catch me responding,
couldn’t ignore, even though I’d try
‘cause it just ain’t done on a chain gang
Too scared to come clean and get real,
told gay love ungodly so must be wrong,
but how could I argue with a smile
that lets heaven shine on a chain gang?
We got to know each other better daily,
mindsets more than merely getting along,
office gossip machine churning madly
(for our not doing right by the chain gang)
We did a runner one day, my love and I,
got a life, determined to do our own thing,
happier at work (even happier at play)
just two gay people getting on with living
Copyright R. N. Taber 2007
I published the poem below on my general blog in May 2012. As well as the abusive emails I received in response to it at the time were some from closet gay people and gay-friendly straight readers who were pleased to find a gay-interest poem on a general poetry blog; all were hoping for 'more gay-friendly societies worldwide as our heterosexual brothers and sisters learn to live and let live', as one reader from a very gay-unfriendly African country put it. Yes, more have learned to do just that although , in my experience, there remains a prevailing bad attitude towards LGBT folks just about everywhere, although I dare say exponents of political correctness will argue differently. My problem there, though, is that what people say and what they think are often poles apart as their subsequent behaviour (when not under any authoritative microscope) illustrates Even so, hope springs eternal ...
Now, I am happily, openly gay. But it wasn’t always that way.
As regular readers will know, I am still haunted now and then by dark, cold, closet years when I was afraid to tell anyone. Throughout my youth and early years of young manhood, gay relationships were illegal here in the UK. Yet, even after these were decriminalised, I was still more in that damn closet than out of it.
Part of the reason I hesitated to be openly gay was that I had such trouble shrugging off all the offensive stereotypes with which I had been burdened for years. Another reason was that I could rely on no support from family or friends for much the same reason. In many areas there are support groups available now; there is also a LOT of support available on the Internet that includes access to gay forums. [Always keep your wits about you when chatting to people on the web, though, as not everyone is as genuine as they may seem.]
Much has changed for the better since those dark days some 30+ years ago. Many of the stereotypes still exist but are countered these days by supportive (rather than just defensive) arguments, and in some parts of the world gay men and woman can turn to Equal Rights legislation.; in other parts of the world, though, there is none of this and gay people, especially young gay people, are suffering much as I did all those years ago.
It has to stop. Societies whose leaders support anti-gay legislation must be made to see sense by more enlightened societies; political pressure must be brought to bear and seen to be brought to bear.
All the blame for the continuing suffering of all LGBT people, often struggling with their sexual identity and in need of support and reassurance, does not always lie at society’s door. Support and understanding starts in the home. Even in the so-called liberal West, many gay boys and girls, men and women, are (still) living in a gay-unfriendly environment.
Wherever you look, and closer to home than you may think, various socio-cultural-religious anti-gay pressures are being brought to bear on gay people.
As I keep saying and will keep saying, the key to supporting gay people in home, school and workplace lies in educating, family, friends and work colleagues into just what it means to be gay; dismantle all those same stereotypes and arguments that kept me in the closet once and for all. Parents and teachers worldwide must start taking responsibility for this along with just as societies’ less enlightened leaders.
Those readers who get in touch to tell me I am being a dinosaur, things have changed and gays have never had it so good should take a closer look at what is happening in Uganda and many other African countries, for example, also in Russia where gay people amongst others must be aghast at Putin’s policies.
Homophobic hate-crime remains an ugly stain on the human race along with all other acts of physical and verbal abuse committed by perpetrators driven by its prejudices.
CHAIN GANG or DOING A RUNNER
Shovelling lies, bundles at a time,
though wore my hair long and sang,
making out I didn’t give a damn,
breaking my back on a chain gang
Yes, thought about breaking loose,
though rarely let it tease me for long;
couldn’t face ever having to choose
between alter ego and the chain gang
For long hours, days, weeks, years,
I slogged on, never putt a foot wrong;
no one ever saw me shed any tears
for making a career of the chain gang
I knew the politics, chapter and verse,
yet still kept singing the same old song,
ringing changes, for better for worse,
and more new faces on the chain gang
One face lingered in my mind’s eye,
wry grins sure to catch me responding,
couldn’t ignore, even though I’d try
‘cause it just ain’t done on a chain gang
Too scared to come clean and get real,
told gay love ungodly so must be wrong,
but how could I argue with a smile
that lets heaven shine on a chain gang?
We got to know each other better daily,
mindsets more than merely getting along,
office gossip machine churning madly
(for our not doing right by the chain gang)
We did a runner one day, my love and I,
got a life, determined to do our own thing,
happier at work (even happier at play)
just two gay people getting on with living
Copyright R. N. Taber 2007
No comments:
Post a Comment