LGBT, Winning the Argument

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

Our parents may well want the best things in life for us, but when it comes to sexual identity, relatively few have a clue. It is down to us to show them where their perspective on the whole gay ethic is sadly flawed.

Society may well see itself as our mentor, and its schools the tools of this mentorship, but there are times when the student needs to educate the teacher and the teacher needs to shut up long enough to listen...

LGBT, WINNING THE ARGUMENT

"You can’t live your life being gay,"

- my parents said to me;

they meant well, could but struggle

with my sexuality;

"What will people think, say, even do?"

- my parents said to me,

it might ruin my career prospects,

couldn’t I see?

"Besides, what will the neighbours say

- or the rest of the family?

Shake off this gay stuff and get real,

stick with normality."

Ah, but this ‘gay stuff’ is a part of me,

- who I am and proud to be;

I stood my ground, pleaded the case

for an honest equality

Not everyone took my part, I must say

- but folks who matter to me

(and to whom I matter too) agree

we're born free to live our lives
as best we can, heartbeat of any society.

- to ourselves and others be true,

and if 'gay stuff' a part of who we are,

it deserves love’s blessing too

Copyright R. N. Taber 2010, 2019

[Note; An earlier version of this poem appears under the title 'Gay Stuff' in On the Battlefields of Love by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2010]

Pulp Fiction OR Flirting with Imagination

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

[Update: (Feb 4 2018]; Several readers have asked me ro reinstate 'Blasphemy' to the blog as they have been unable to access it via Google Play. I will start posting again in serial form later this week.]

News Update (June 21, 2016): My (slightly revised) gay-crime novel 'Blasphemy' (2006) is now available as an e-book on Google Play:

https://play.google.com/store/books/details/Roger_N_Taber_Blasphemy?id=mNlsDAAAQBAJ&hl=en_GB

NB My novels (including gay-interest, crime and fantasy,  published and unpublished) will continue to appear in serial form on my fiction blog. I am grateful to those readers who have been in touch to say they have enjoyed my novels and why those as yet unpublished (Dog Roses, Mamelon, Predisposed to Murder and Like There's No Tomorrow deserve to be. The fact remains, though, that I was never able to find one and found myself concentrating more and more on my poetry.

http://rogertaberfiction.blogspot.co.uk/

I hope to announce any e-editions of my poetry collections and subsequent new collections (in e-format) as I upload them on both general and gay-interest poetry blogs; each collection will continue to include both general and gay-interest poem just as my fiction will embrace both general and gay-interest storylines.

Meanwhile,...

Now, if you enjoy writing in any genre and despair of having writer’s block, you are not alone. I, for one, know the feeling only too well. Ah, but believe me, there’s nothing like a spot of ‘live’ pulp fiction to stir the imagination ... 😉

PULP FICTION or FLIRTING WITH IMAGINATION

He got on at Leicester Square,

sat opposite me, heading for Edgware;

between dripping sardines

our eyes met. (Rain on the face

or beads of sweat?)

I chanced a friendly smile

and mouthed, “Hello.”

He flung me a dirty look - so

I returned to my book although my heart

yearned for his beauty,

let it comfort my despair. (Oh, to burn

my fingers on the sparklers

in his hair!) Patched jeans smouldering

like the heart cowering in my shirt,

I risked a second glance. His eyes bore

darkly into mine...

Hooked! Starkly, we swam

a glorious ocean...

Our lovemaking done by Camden Town,

he left the train

I never saw him again

Copyright R. N. Taber 2002

[From: First Person Plural by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2002]

[Note: Camden Town is a district of North-West London, about 15 mins travel on the Northern Line from Leicester Square.]

Marriage Lines (Four Poems) Or Where Love Calls the Tune

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

[Update Dec 8th 2017]: Following a referendum where 68% or voters were in favour of legalising marriage between same-sex couples, gay marriage in Australia is now officially legal.  An overwhelming majority of MPs voted yesterday to change the Marriage Act, eight days after a similarly decisive result in the Senate. Great news for LGBT folks not only in Australia but everywhere as we continue to get the better of outdated bigotry world wide. We may have a long way to go yet in some countries, even in part of the West...but...hopefully, homophobia on the world stage is fighting a losing battle.]

[Update May 24th 2015: Yesterday, young people played an integral part in a referendum in the Republic of Ireland that voted overwhelmingly in favour of gay marriage. Such a referendum is a global first and great news for gay people worldwide; not least, it is also a also a wake-up call for the Catholic Church, Christianity in general, and other religions which, for far too long, have held us in contempt. Young people are the future, one which (given the opportunity) says 'NO' to bigots, religious or otherwise. ]

[Update May 19th 2015:  Now, I may not be a religious person, but I believe passionately in a common humanity, We keep hearing about Christian groups/businesses etc. refusing to accommodate gay couples in one sense or another, citing religious reasons. Yet the whole point of the Good Samaritan parable that Jesus told his followers is that the Jews and Samaritans loathed each other. The Christianity that Jesus founded did not discriminate, but embraced everyone. So, in whose name do Christians today reject the rights of gay couples...?

[Update March 28th 2014: Gay marriage will be legal in the UK after today. All my gay fields and I are happy with civil partnerships, but it is a happy fay for those gay couples for whom religion is an important part of daily life. Good luck to them all. Meanwhile, I would ask those who are against the idea of gay marriage,  why should gay people be exempt from either a public blessing in (any) place of worship or declaring their love before God for Him as well as each other? I am assured there is little or no anti-gay propaganda in any of the Holy Books and those Christians who are obsessed with Leviticus could do worse then read my poem, Answering Leviticus.

http://rogertab.blogspot.co.uk/2011/08/answering-leviticus.html

[For more video-poems:  https://www.youtube.com/user/rogerNtaber/videos ]

Promising to press ahead with plans for same-sex marriages, Liberal Democrat Equalities Minister, Lynne Featherstone, said in The Daily Telegraph that she does not believe The Church has the exclusive right to say who can marry. While acknowledging the issue provokes strong feelings, she adds that the State is entitled to make changes to the union, and that the Church did not 'own' marriage.

Since I subscribe to no religion, I do not have strong feelings on the matter. As far as I am concerned, a Civil Partnership is the same as a civil marriage. However, it will please gay Christians who would then be able to marry in any church besides the United Reformed Church that has been conducting same sex marriages for years. Just because I reject religion doesn’t mean to say I don’t acknowledge its importance to those for whom it is integral to their way of life. [It isn’t religion that I constantly attack, but the hypocrisy of many who choose to interpret (any) religion to suit their own personal agendas.]

In recent years, I have written poems for friends and others celebrating their civil partnerships, and here are a few of them, all villanelles:

A SONG FOR GAY LOVERS

It doesn’t matter that we’re gay,
our love is pure;
whatever people say, it will endure

It doesn’t matter that we’re gay,
happiness is ours;
day by day, winging heaven’s towers

It doesn’t matter that we’re gay,
time is on our side;
ebb or flow, let golden hours decide

It doesn’t matter that we’re gay,
we can dream too;
come what may, we’ll see it through

It doesn’t matter that we’re gay,
our love is pure;
whatever people say, we will endure

Copyright R. N. Taber 2007

[From: Accomplices to Illusion by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2007]

 CROWNING GLORY

Watch dark clouds roll away,
Apollo smiling down
on a very special wedding day

Share kisses like a Falls spray
greeting heaven;
watch dark clouds roll away

No matter what some may say,
love wears poetry’s crown
on a very special wedding day

Love doesn’t care if we’re gay,
gladly takes us for its own;
watch dark clouds roll away

Writing love lines in life’s clay,
never to disown…
on a very special wedding day

In love, peace, come what may,
twin doves never alone;
watch dark clouds roll away
on a very special wedding day

Copyright R. N. Taber 2010

[From: On the Battlefields of Love by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2010]

FREE SPIRITS

To Earth Mother, joy among tears
wherever we run
the gamut of life’s fears

Keeping faith with friendly trees,
embracing every one;
To Earth Mother, joy among tears

Come glorious sunsets on pastures
pink and green…
the gamut of life’s fears

Choice, all humankind gladly frees
to be true to its own;
To Earth Mother, joy among tears

Peace (nature too) will find enemies
where its colours run
the gamut of life’s tears

Gay love, blessed by summer kisses,
a bid for freedom won!
To Earth Mother, joy among tears,
the gamut of life’s fears

Copyright R. N. Taber 2010

[From: On the Battlefields of Love by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2010]

WHERE SONGBIRDS FLY

Where songbirds fly
through time and space
go you and I

Love, it never dies,
but haunts a secret place
where songbirds fly

Where its tears run dry,
a smile on Heaven’s face,
go you and I

Nature’s kindlier eye . personal
upon our every embrace
where songbirds fly

Where no one asks why
love takes pride of place,
go you and I

For every bigot’s lie,
G-A-Y laughing in its face
where songbirds fly,
you and I

Copyright R. N. Taber 2013

[Note: Written especially for the civil partnership between good friends of mine, 2013.]

Born Again OR Mind-Body-Spirit, Second Time Around

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

Being in denial is the worst kind of self-torture if only because our alter-ego is well aware of what is happening and does not let up its torrent of accusation and recriminatory taunts; turning a deaf inner ear may win us a few battles, but we’ll not win the war and peace of mind doesn’t stand a chance ...

The human spirit is stronger than that; as life forces go, it has to be first among equals, and only a heartbeat away.

(Photo taken from the Internet)

BORN AGAIN or MIND-BODY-SPIRIT, SECOND TIME AROUND

You had an angel’s smile,

white shirt flapping like wings

in a breeze;

out of nowhere, you came,

coaxing this lonely Unbeliever

to his knees

You took me in your arms

kissed me, your lips fanning ashes

all but spent;

my long-smouldering body

burst into flames of mad desire

as was meant

A passion raging in the soul,

far more than sexual, rose like a ghost

set free...

into the kind of heaven

sure to offer unconditional

sanctuary

You named and shamed me

out of a self-denial keeping me
in its hell;

Oh, ecstasy, born again
in you, you in me, to love,
the victory

Copyright R. N. Taber 1973; 2012; 2015

[Note: An earlier version of this poem appears under the title 'Kiss of Life' in First Person Plural by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2002.

Ballad of the Straight Cafe

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

More often than not chance encounters don't turn out quite as we expect but can be good for an adrenaline rush all the same. It is also true to say that life is full of surprises, none more amazing at times than other people.

We might think we can read someone's body language like a book, and arrive at certain conclusions, forgetting they may well be able to read ours, too, and arrive at their own...

BALLAD OF THE STRAIGHT CAFE

A face glimpsed in a crowd
had haunted me all day
then fate sat us at the same table
in my favourite café

I fought to control the frantic
pounding of my heart,
shied away from his passing glances
as if dazzled by their light

I felt the sweat on my brow
replace unshed tears;
salty drips, a measure of body heat
and unspoken fears

It spread to my groin, that fire
raging through me;
I relished, lapped up the pain, martyr
to my sexuality

His lips parted and let me see
the pinkness of a tongue
tossing words, fuelling the furnace
my body had become

He asked me to pass the salt
and my hand shook;
our fingers brushed and he gave me
the queerest look

I could scarcely breathe, sounds
like stifled screams
of feisty ghosts, last seen tramping
on wet dreams

I blurted out my name, asked his
and a chill wind all but let
the furnace die, left me smouldering
among coals of regret

Yet, a hint of light in his dark eyes,
though the dimmest glow,
warned it was now or never, he and I,
our selves to know

[From: On the Battlefields of Love by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2010]

A Fighting Spirit

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

Some of you may have read how a father here in the UK recently hanged himself just eighteen months after his son took his own life following rumours about his sexuality. Following his son's death, he began an anti-homophobic-bullying campaign, winning an award from the charity Stonewall for his efforts. It would appear, however, that he was finally overcome by grief.

Two lives lost because homophobia is alive and kicking.

Homophobic bullying (indeed, bullying of any kind) is always hard to deal with, yet deal with it we must, but not alone. Half the battle is telling someone what is happening and fighting the bullies together. There can be no worse feeling than being bullied and trying, but failing, to handle it alone; feelings of humiliation, anger and fear are bad enough, but even worse is an appalling sense of helplessness and loneliness.

As I have said before on the blogs, asking for help is not a sign of weakness; on the contrary is a demonstration of maturity.

It is rarely easy to develop a fighting spirit when, at heart, we are peace loving individuals, but life often demands of us that we do just that. Openly gay men and women will always be vulnerable to the less enlightened among the heterosexual majority; a fighting spirit is not only necessary for our survival, but also shows the bullies and homophobes that we can play mind games too. There is a lot to be said for beating an enemy at his or her own game.

So if any readers are being bullied, DO confide in someone and get help. You are also welcome to let off steam by contacting me any time at rogertab@aol.com with 'Blog Reader' in the subject field.
Talking and/or writing through our thoughts invariably helps clarify them and go a long way towards restoring our self-confidence; in this case,  confidence in our sexual identity to the extent we can even begin to see a glimmer of light at the end of what may well seem a long, dark tunnel.

Did I say it was easy?

A FIGHTING SPIRIT 

Once I hid my true self away
because I’m gay,
frightened to run the gamut
of what people might say,
raised to believe I should be
ashamed, that folks
would see in me someone
to despise. It took me
years to realize they are wrong
who fail to understand
that sexuality has to be genetic
or how else to explain
so many gay men and women
the world over?

I got angry about taking cover
from what some people (still) have to say
about being gay

Now I show my true self openly
because I’m proud
of who I am and an integral
part of that is being gay;
I’ll not hide my true self away,
will run the gamut
of what people might say
(if I must) preferring
to trust in a common humanity
than voices calling
from shadows, goading us
to bigotry in the name
of this or that religion or culture
the world over

I grew weary of taking cover
from what some people (still) have to say
about being gay

Yes, some people will look at me
and gossip
about my sexuality, say
gay people should be more discreet,
in spite of so-called equality
and Human Rights
because it isn’t fair on those who
continue to insist
it is a crime against nature or sin
against religion
for men to make love with men
or women with women
though love fight its way through
the politics of division

[From: On The Battlefields Of Love by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2010]

Men Shopping

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

[Update, August 22nd 2020]: A further, revised version of the poem below appears on the blog for August 2020. I have only changed the content slightly, but the form in which it I have opted to present it is altogether different. You may like to compare and (hopefully) approve my changes. While I never publish comments, readers can send an email any time to rogertab@aol.com [UK] with 'Poetry' in the subject field; any spam or trolling is always ignored and instantly deleted.

Today’s story-poem first appeared on the blog in 2010; it was inspired (like many of my poems) by a tale related by a couple with whom I got chatting quite by chance in a pub once, and never saw again. although I'd often head for the same bar after a particularly frustrating day at work.

So, no, it isn’t autobiographical, but I chose to write it in the first person not only for a sense of immediacy but also because - like many readers, if feedback is anything to go by - I could easily relate to the events described, if not (quite) the same happy ending.

Who says shopping is boring?

MEN SHOPPING 

He was reaching for coffee

on a supermarket shelf;

the graceful swing of his body

cut me to the quick;

one eye refused to blink, kept

at the task in hand;

trying hard not to think about

his finger nudging mine;

a tenuous grasp on the jar,

began to slip;

my hand was left no choice,

obliged to help;

he thanked me with a grin,

I smiled back;

when he started to move on,

I panicked;

“So you like decaf?” I blurted

to a shirt button;

a hint of hairy chest heaved,

breath slow and warm;

“I do indeed,” he grinned again,

made my cheeks burn...

and I came up with something

even more banal;

we chatted away the whole

length of the aisle;

finally, at preserves, a parting

of the ways;

finished off the shopping

in a heady daze;

outside, he was unloading into

an old banger;

he waved, had me blushing

from ear to ear;

the same grin, infuriating me

this time;

lips parted, tip of a pink tongue

teasing my prime;

my mouth went dry. I barely

recall that lift home

Years on, though, I still thrill

to waking up next to him

Copyright R. N. Taber 2005; 2017

[Note: Slightly revised from the original poem as it appears in The Third Eye by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2004 ]

Divisions Of The Heart

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

If any of you have clicked on the link to my poetry reading in Trafalgar Square in 2009, you will have heard me read this poem:

http://www.webarchive.org.uk/wayback/archive/20100223121732/oneandother.co.uk/participants/Roger_T  [For now, at least, this link needs the latest Adobe Flash Player  and works best in Firefox; the aerhives website cannot run Flash but changes scheduled for later this year may well mean the link will open without it. Ignore any error message and give it a minute or so to start up. The video lasts an hour. ] RT 2018

I felt I had to read it because it is so hard for gay men and women from various socio-cultural-religious backgrounds that remain intrinsically homophobic.

On the whole, feedback was very positive, but I did receive some hate mail too, which only goes to show that homophobia is alive and kicking even in the ‘liberal’ West.

I live in London and would say it’s a great city in which to be gay although it has to be said I have the distinct impression that multiculturalism is slowly but surely contradicting me; there has been a significant rise in attacks on gay men here in recent years. At the same time, I have no hesitation in condemning potentially racist and homophobic organisations like the British National Party that are even more to blame for fanning the flames of prejudice and hate crime across Britain and the rest of Europe.

When will they ever learn?  Oh, when will they ever learn...?

DIVISIONS OF THE HEART

I once met a man with ebony skin

who opened up his heart to let me in

and took me to his bed one night

where we made love until first light

My heart cries out to such as he

whose soulful words said differently;

even as we kissed with passion

he shed tears for his own crucifixion

He explained why we must part,

keep safe this one secret of the heart

he longed to shout out to a world

that would see him fall on its sword

Where the humanity in any culture

in denial of aspects of human nature

finding with God no less favour

for daring to take a same sex lover?

He left, the man with ebony skin

who opened up his heart to let me in;

in dreams, we’ll go there again,

set free, we victims of cruel division

[From: On the Battlefields of Love by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2010]

Cops, Queers, and Caravaggio

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

I have been asked to repeat this poem (it last appeared on the blog in 2010) for ‘Seb and Karl’ who ...’met in similar circumstances some years ago.’

They have also asked if I would repeat the link to my poetry reading on the 4^th plinth in Trafalgar Square in July 2009; my contribution to sculptor Antony Gormley’s One  & Other ‘living sculpture’ project during which I read some of my gay-interest poems among others:

http://www.webarchive.org.uk/wayback/archive/20100223121732/oneandother.co.uk/participants/Roger_T  [NB: Sept 19, 2019 - The British Library confirmed today that he video is no longer available as it was incompatible with a new IT system, However, it still exists and BL hope to reinstate it and make it available to the public again at some future date.] RNT ]

Karl and Seb add that (unlike me and the cop in the poem) they have been partners for twenty years to this very day. Congratulations to you both and a BIG HUG from yours truly.

The degree of homo-eroticism in much of Caravaggio's work and the fact that never married has led critics to speculate for years that he was probably gay, but ... who cares? At the end of the day, what has a person's sexuality to do with his or her character, skill or talent?

COPS, QUEERS, AND CARAVAGGIO 

We met in an art gallery,

enjoyed each other’s company

all day;

at his flat, we chatted over

coffee and, finally, he asked me

to stay;

although both nervous,

we made love, the two of us

in heaven...

nor just having fun;

good to be close to someone

again;

his mouth, warm and sensual;

an embrace far more than sexual

wanting me…

as more than a friend

but no mere means to an end

physically

He brought me breakfast

in bed and I turned a shade red

at his uniform;

I hadn’t asked about

his career, content just to be there

with him…

so it came as a shock

to see him dressed as a P.C.

for the beat;

tried to tell myself

it didn’t matter, heart all a-flutter

and cold feet;

at the door, a shy goodbye,

copper’s shirt and tie a brick

wall…

that crumbled with an embrace

as we saw, face to face, nothing

mattered at all

Lovers till he moved away;

friends to this day

Copyright R. N. Taber 2002; 2010

[Note: This poem has been (very) slightly revised since it appeared in First Person Plural by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2002.]

Sex, Lies and Stereotype

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

Most if not all gay men and women remember the horror of that damn closet, whether we are there for a long or short while. It has to be one of the 21st century’s greater tragedies that many gay people stay there all their lives because certain judgemental societies and/or socio-cultural-religious factors in the home continue to work against our Human Rights world-wide.

This poem was retrospective when it was written in 1995 following an exchange of closet anecdotes among gay friends, and is as relevant today as it was then.  Only a few months ago, here in London, I saw two young men kissing in a crowded gay bar that, according to the person standing next to me who pointed them out, had been with a ‘butch’ crowd he’d known since schooldays that regularly yelled homophobic abuse at him in the street. Obviously, they hadn’t yet realised that it really isn’t ‘in’ to be with an in-crowd that’s very much the wrong crowd. 

Mind you, I’ve often wondered about openly homophobic types. As Shakespeare, might well have said, methinks they do protest too much...

SEX, LIES AND STEREOTYPE

Billy was a shy boy

who lived in my hometown,

did well at school,

never played the fool,

had a voice as thick as honey,

kept his head in a book;

that first time he smiled

and said ‘hello’ I didn’t quite

know where to look

Early one morning

I went fishing at my special place;

Billy was already there,

tongues of red hair licking

at my face as I told him

to go, the sacrilege all his,

but he stood his ground;

I flung him down, a heat in us

rising like the dawn

Our lips brushed

as if meant, his sweet body sighed;

mine paused, replied

until spent, spiritually content

for finding sanctuary

in the lap of a songbird,

no willows weeping

or fish biting nor any hint

of unease or dissent

Down at the pub

one evening, drinking with the lads,

poised to win at darts,

my girl cheering … Enter Billy

with a mate, and I score

a bull! Crowd’s roaring my victory,

my girl adoring me

as I'm drowning in a swell

and, oh, so hurting ...

like hell

Copyright R. N. Taber 1995; 2012

[Note: Thus poem has been revised from an earlier version that has already appeared on the blog and in  my first collection,  Love And Human Remains by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2000.]

Deliverance

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

Some people are in denial of sexual identity. In my case, years ago, I felt like a character in the wrong novel, being made to fit a story line to which nothing about me could relate, so how on earth was anyone else supposed to?

Most of us have been there, for a while at least. It is worse than being in prison because there are no bars on windows or locks on doors, only a growing desperation to be somewhere else.  Oh, we can play the blame game for as long as we like regarding the unfairness of being where we are, but we have no one to blame for staying there except ourselves.

True, world religions and various cultural 'taboos' don't exactly encourage gay people to think well of themselves, but think well of ourselves we should. We do not chose to be gay, it has to be in the genes or else there would not be millions of us around the world. Choice comes with whether or not we look the world in the eye or let it browbeat us into staying in a cold, lonely closet.

DELIVERANCE 

Heart heavy, sight dim

after years of pain, searching

for whom I so yearned

to give my life meaning beyond

getting up every morning

and going to bed at night, plotting

ways and means to get through

he next day, nothing going right,

like a character in a novel

crying to its creator for deliverance

from conventional fiction

wasted on caricature left craving

a gay storyline

Heart light, seeing clear

now there’s you to give me purpose,

a joy I never knew

although in my dreams I’d kiss you,

feel your arms close around

my trembling body, hacking away

at caricature, setting me free;

Now, letting a finer spirit course me,

lending the strength of two

so I may love you too; no pulp fiction

sucking up to society’s gripes.

but drama-documentary dispelling

its stereotypes

Gay love, some (still) say, is a lie,

but we know better, you and I

Copyright R. N. Taber 2004; 2012

[Note: An earlier version of this poem appears on the blog as well as in 1st eds. of The Third Eye by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2004.]

Three Little Words

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

After posting this poem in 2010, reader ‘Gerry’ got in touch to say that it inspired him to propose to his boyfriend. Subsequently, they had a civil partnership last spring. No such reports lately although
...who knows? It's Valentine's day tomorrow, after all.

Ah, but  when you're in  love, gay or straight, it's as the song says, every day is Valentine’s Day...

THREE LITTLE WORDS

Three little words, all I had to say

but dare not, day after day…

My heart ached each time I tried

so crossed my fingers and lied…

It hurt, each time you looked at me

as if urging I speak, break free…

Yet three little words I could not say

though loving you more each day…

My soul cried out in bleakest despair

so I shut my ears, tried not to hear…

I died when you heaped praise on me,

the coward in me you could not see…

Three little words, all I had to say

but dare not, day after day…

There had to be more to life than this

growing empathy with Judas…

To family, friends, at last I came true;

no problem, love won through…

Three little words, I’m so proud to say

day after day, ‘I am gay’

[From: Accomplices To Illusion by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2007]

Putting the World to Rights

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

Two Christian guesthouse owners who were ordered to pay damages after refusing to allow a gay couple to stay in a double room lost their appeal here yesterday. Could it be that, regarding sexuality (in some parts of the world at any rate) it is putting itself to rights at last?

Everyone has right to their own religious beliefs, but no one has the right to impose them on others. Besides, I may not be a religious person, but I know my Bible, and Jesus of Nazareth is not portrayed as someone likely to condemn anyone for their sexuality.

Don’t these ‘devout’ Christians know their New Testament at all? So many seem to have lost the plot altogether. For example, whatever happened to the ‘love thy neighbour’ bit? Not that certain Christians are alone among certain followers of certain world religions when it comes to losing the plot...

One thing is certain though. There will always be wonderful people in the world who possess quality sure to get the better of any socio-cultural-religious prejudices without having to resort to either compromise or deception; it is called commonsense.

This poem last appeared here in December 2010 and I have since slightly but significantly revised it. Reader ‘Jermaine’ has asked me to repeat it for his boyfriend, ‘Dave’, whom he met in The Black Cap gay pub in Camden Town, London  NW3 a year ago today. I only go there occasionally these days, for old time’s sake, but have some wonderful memories of that pub, and recommend it to everyone.

PUTTING THE WORLD TO RIGHTS

We met at a pub in Camden Town,
having arranged it on the Internet,
but for a while weren’t even sure
if we liked each other, never mind
up for sex

After failing to put the world to rights,
we felt far less wary of each other;
I began to feel attracted to a fullness
of lips, growing sensuousness of body
language

The more he talked, the less I heard,
a gleam in each eye distracting me,
and several shirt buttons left undone
inviting me to caress the bronzed flesh
within

By the time we got round to deciding
who should go to whose for coffee,
all I wanted was to slip under a duvet,
let him enter me, make good the poetry
of imagination

No duvet greeted me, but sheets of satin,
caressing my body even before his turn
to feel his way through the dark passages
of my self, guilt blocking every attempt
to come clean

He persevered, took me to the climax
of my fears, let flow waters of the earth
to succour this lonely self, left for dead
by those who insist it’s a sin for one man
to love another

If love means breaking ties that bind
generations, let’s have no reservations;
love is far too precious a gift to throw
in the face of a fate that wants the best
for us all

We gay folks love to be just as close
to family and old friends as anyone else,
but there’s a love we place even higher,
and it’s a foolish person caves in to those
denying us that

Copyright R. N. Taber 2009; 2011

[Update: This poem appears in Tracking the Torchbearer by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2012]

Mind-Body-Spirit, in Safe Hands

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

This week, St. Petersburg is pushing forward a law that would make it illegal for any person to write a book, publish an article or speak in public about being gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender, and calling it "homosexual propaganda". St. Petersburg's Mayor Poltavchenko, President Medvedev and Prime Minister Putin are all pushing for a law that is more than an abuse of Human Rights; it is an insult to humanity. 

The poem last appeared on the blog in March 2010. As the UK is currently experiencing a very cold spell, you can hardly blame me for recalling a memory/poem to keep me warm... Moreover, I am dedicating it to all our brothers and sisters across the whole of Russia and beyond; any suggestion that someone should ever be persecuted for their sexuality is a stain on civilisation, but especially to the extent we have seen in parts of Africa, in Uganda for example.   

It just goes to show shows how bloody minded and ignorant some world governments can be. Come to that, I don’t recall reading or hearing anything about this sickening proposed anti-gay legislation in Russia here in the UK...

To all my Russian blog readers, a BIG HUG, and good luck! Мы думаем о Вас всех (I hope that is how you say, We are thinking of you all.

MIND-BODY-SPIRIT, IN SAFE HANDS

You dived under my top,

tongue on nipples aching with desire;

hands at my jeans would not stop,

my whole being on fire

I longed to respond, could not

(for too long told it’s wrong, obscene)

as you invaded me with your heat,

pulled my jeans down

My heart tore like an express

along twisting tracks of denial, regret,

embracing years of loneliness, pain,

on a rack of ages-old guilt

Slowly, I let go all hype

imprinted on my heart, soul, brain;

rose above the stereotype,

learned to live again

Once mere pieces of clay,

we discovered sex, no truths held back;

though some protest, as they may,

let them to their own lives look

Copyright R. N. Taber 2007; 2018

[Note; this poem first appears under the title 'Fast Tracking' in Accomplices to Illusion by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2007]

Chance Meeting

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

[Update Jan 25th 2019]: More on The Black Cap in the campaign to re-open one of the oldest gay venues in the UK:

https://www.change.org/p/the-new-owners-of-the-black-cap-reopen-the-black-cap/u/23937802?s_tk=Agc3wqRCQSleAdq6TVwAAXicyyvNyQEABF8BvLQoloI6mH74pLuPk0flDZU%3D&utm_campaign=e4e4164373794ef48ed0205e9aaee85e&utm_medium=email&utm_source=petition_update&utm_term=cs 

Fingers crossed... as too many gay bars are closing. Meanwhile, homophobia is alive and kicking. Gay and gay-friendly men and women will always need somewhere to meet, drink, and have fun in a safe environment. There are plenty of us, for goodness sake. No gay bar needs to go to the wall.]

Meanwhile...

Now, although gay relationships were decriminalised here in the UK in 1967, it was not until the late 1990's that attitudes began to soften towards us.  I have to say that now I have that sinking again as multiculturalism is slowly but surely turning the clock backwards. Regular readers will know that I have nothing against multiculturalism in principle; on the contrary, I would welcome it with open arms, but for the fact that so many people from various socio-cultural-religious backgrounds have not only brought their native prejudices - including homophobia - to the UK but also appear to be nurturing them; if it is a minority, it is a very significant and increasingly vocal one. Thank goodness for an openhearted, open minded majority, and long may it remain one.

Now, time spent looking for close encounters of the intimate kind can sometimes result in BIG disappointments. (Oh, and how!) Ah, yes, but it only takes one unforgettable moment on one unforgettable occasion with one unforgettable person to make up for all of them...

CHANCE MEETING

In a smoky gloom,
I watched you standing there,
idly running cruisy fingers
through hair kissed by stray sunshine
flickering through shutters
set to glower the world outside,
nursing us on the inside
to a comfortable anonymity,
and you glanced at me
then flung your eyes back into a pool
of drowning men
shrieking so if silently for rescue
despite dog-paddle gestures
defying their distress like the rhythm
of a hit pop song pulling at heart strings
repudiating our loneliness

Gathering up a casual air,
I spoke to you, let the lilt of your voice
wash over me like a friendly
shower after a bad dream as we talked
comfortably while loud music
screened all ghosts from us, inciting
a temporary deliverance;
we went outside into a gentler
conspiracy of noon sounds
urging us to hurry to a kinder place
where my hands may freely frame
your face, my lips on yours, your body
answering mine, all threat receding,
life forces we had all but given up on
now reconciling with body, mind and spirit,
turning us inside out

Copyright R. N. Taber 1998; 2012

[Note: This poem has been (slightly) revised from an earlier version that has appeared in several poetry magazines before and since I included it in 1st eds. of Love and Human Remains by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2001; revised ed. in e-format in preparation.] 

Dearly Beloved

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

Yes, I know I said posts would be intermittent for a while because I am so busy preparing my new collection for publication by the end of February/early March. However, I do so love writing up the blog that I try to make time for it most days. Besides, I am not well at the moment and communicating with you all helps me feel a lot better.

Now, this poem last appeared in the spring of 2010 and has always been popular with readers.  I have been asked to repeat it for new and regular readers today by ‘Mauricio’ especially for ‘my very own beloved invader, ‘D P’. He doesn’t give a first name but I dare say D P will recognize himself.’

DEARLY BELOVED 

When you entered my body,

passion, heat and desire

throbbing at the very fingertips,

I thought I was surely dying

to come so close to heaven

on an earth ravaged by pain,

even the flowers hurting from

a steady fall of acid rain

When you entered my body,

passion, heat and desire

foaming at a full, sweet mouth,

I thought I was surely blessed

to feel the arms of an angel

embracing me with such love

and more, in a world so haunted

by poverty, hunger, terror

When you entered my body,

passion heat and desire

coaxing me to glorious orgasm,

I learned to know myself,

freed at last from fear and doubt,

like a flower whose petals

stayed shut, until nature’s need

to come out…

Oh, dearly beloved, thanks to you,

every love poem I write rings true

Copyright R. N. Taber 2007; 2018

[Note: This poem has been slightly but significantly revised from the version that appears in Accomplices To Illusion by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2007]