Impromptu Renaissance

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

Gays are losers,’ someone sneered at me only recently. Oh, yeah? So...was Handel a loser or Michelangelo or Shakespeare...to name but a few?

Did I mention Michelangelo? Yes, well, even the Vatican now openly acknowledges its debt to some of the greatest artists that ever lived, and were gay:

http://www.theguardian.com/artanddesign/jonathanjonesblog/2015/jan/06/vatican-sexuality-themed-tours-gay-artists-michelangelo-da-vinci-caravaggio

Sexuality has to be in the genes or else how can we account for gay people world-wide ... and what is more natural than coming into the world as nature intended? Nor is it only sexuality but also how we develop into mature adults in which, there too, nature is bound to lend a hand.

As every wise parent knows... yes, you want the best for your children. But more often than not, the best way to show your love and keep them close is to let them go their own way and always be there for them.

As for any homophobes among the heterosexual majority, to them I say... grow up and get real.

Now, history plays host to many great men who were homosexual or bisexual. Do we hear the homophobes attacking them? A great man or woman or just an ordinary person in the street, our sexuality is sexuality is unimportant, except to them. It is no one else’s damn business. Besides, it is character that counts and that is where the homophobe is invariably found sadly wanting.

Never, but never underestimate the power of love, and never believe that is any less true for gay men and women worldwide.

IMPROMPTU RENAISSANCE

I battled against the snow one night
and winter would have seen me dead;
no star in sight or midwinter moon
finding a way through to be my guide

My legs refused even one step more,
my body collapsing in an untidy heap
on a white fur rug, marble surrounds
left clear, no doors or even a window

A splendid ceiling boasted frescoes
staying true to the Florentine painter
assigned to transform a mortuary
into a summer retreat fit for a pope

The faces looking down at me began
shouting then singing, their body parts
dancing wildly, bringing art to life,
resuming its place in the subject field

I heard an organ (or was it the wind?)
playing the Dead March as the revellers
vanished behind a sequined curtain
so I saw no finale, could only imagine

Suddenly, faintly, I heard a love song
growing louder, stronger, a match even
for Handel and the dead, hauling me
to my feet, defying surrender to winter

I battled with wind and snow yet again
and winter would have seen me dead
but you despatched the Spirit of Love
to find a way through and be my guide

That night we sat by a glowing hearth,
eating chestnuts roasted on red hot coals
where the arts of gay Greats of History
made their finer pleasures known to us

Copyright R. N. Taber 2010

Never Alone at Christmas

http://www.youtube.com/rogerNtaber

Christmas - like all religious festivals – is a time for coming together. Sadly, far too often it is also a time when divisions become more clearly marked than ever. Where family and friends do come together, those who are and/or made to feel excluded can feel terribly alone and isolated. Birthdays, anniversaries, special moments we long to share with family and friends, these are times when not being able to share them, for whatever reason, can make us feel physically sick with the intensity of exclusion.

It is not only gay people, of course, who are often made to feel excluded because they haven’t lived up to the expectations of others but made their own way in life. It is high time some people realised that, much as we may want the best for family and friends, we have no right to tell them how to live their lives; we should respect the decisions they make instead of harping on about how they could and should have done things differently. Nor is turning to socio-cultural-religious traditions any excuse for making people feel guilty about how they choose to live their lives...or rejecting them for it. [Multicultural societies will never work well until more of its leading lights get real and bring their followers into the 21st century.]

Let those of us who fare better, wish all those who are alone and unhappy a peaceful time over this period of Christmas, and always. Peace of mind may be elusive but it is there if we look hard enough; it involves keeping faith with ourselves as well as if not more than with each other. Gay, or straight, male or female, we all need to believe in ourselves and can but trust others will come to believe in us too, albeit it may take time for some to accept us for who and what we are.

Me? I’ve been on my own on Christmas Day for years now and love it. I can do exactly as I please, which usually includes over-eating (especially chocolates and other goodies I deny myself all year) as well as mulling very self-indulgently over Christmases past (some wonderful, some awful) and be glad that close friends will be around for (hopefully) years to come.

At the end of the day, there are always loved ones to keep us company, whether or not they are still with us. whenever we feel lonely or unhappy. for any reason; there is always much comfort to be found among our kinder ghosts.

This poem is a villanelle.

NEVER ALONE AT CHRISTMAS

Alone at Christmas, yet never alone
(memories flooding mind and heart)
among flowers of a peace full grown

For errors made, we can but atone
(join a common humanity for a start)
alone at Christmas, yet never alone

May the world look past a tombstone
(in whose design we played our part)
among flowers of a peace full grown

Recalling wise words written in stone
(keeps us close, though made to part)
alone at Christmas, yet never alone

Live by the Poetry of Kindness shown,
and to others, its words impart…
among flowers of a peace full grown

Though time, like a bird, quickly flown,
hear its love songs as swiftly return;
alone at Christmas, yet never alone...
among flowers of a peace full grown

Copyright R. N. Taber 2009; 2018

Duet OR In Every Tree, a Love Song

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

Today's poem last appeared on the blog in 2009 and is repeated today especially for readers ‘Guillaume and Jacques’ who will celebrate the second anniversary of their Civil Partnership (Pacte civil de solidarité) this week. You don’t say which day, folks, but congratulations. Puissiez-vous vivre heureux pour toujours et voici un gros câlin de Roger. [For those don’t know any French, that is, ‘May you live happy ever after and here’s a big hug from Roger’...at least, I hope it does as my French is a bit rusty!]

DUET or IN EVERY TREE, A LOVE SONG

There’s a tree in a field
that sings me a love song
every time I’m sitting
where it rises from the ground;
listen and you’ll hear
the lyric of a love song hanging
on a dream lost and found

By a tree in a field
we wrote our first love song,
bodies entwining
as we lay there on the ground,
sharing with the birds
such joy, such passion, hanging
on a dream lost and found

There’s a tree in a field
that watched us kiss and part,
not daring to believe
as we lay there on the ground
how gay love might
survive a world left but hanging
on dreams lost and found

To a tree in a field
we returned to write a love song,
bodies entwining
as we lay there on the ground,
sharing with the birds
such joy, such passion, a waking
dream lost and found


Copyright R. N. Taber 2008

G-A-Y, Opening Up to a Positive Thinking Mindset

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

[Update July 28th 2020]: It is nine years since I posted this poem on the blog, yet still there are LGBT folks around the world living infear of theirsexuality being 'exposed, made by blinkered societies and communities to live in that dark, lonely closet that was once my own personal space many years ago. True, we are winning hearts and minds in some parts of the world, but our hopes lie with our young people, many if not most of whom take others as they find them, and if they get along, it really doesn't matter whether or not sexuality comesinto the equation. Tragically, though, we still have a very long way to go before we are - all of us - accepted for who, not what we are; just as there is more than our sexuality to any LGBT person, so there is invariably more than meets the eye to each and every one of us, whatever our socio-cultural-religious or ethnic background, wherever in the world we may be.]

I am often accused of being too simplistic in my poems. Simple, yes, more often than not, but simplistic is a criticism I reject. [Well, I would, wouldn’t I?] I don’t want people to read a poem of mine only to scratch their heads, wondering what it’s all about. I said as much to a university lecturer once and he had a go at me for not having a ‘scholarly enough’ approach to poetry. Needless to say, I took it as a compliment.

Meanwhile, here’s a poem with a simple message; some words teach and some of us learn so that both can live on as part and parcel of a positive thinking mindset...

 G-A-Y, OPENING UP TO A POSITIVE THINKING MINDSET

There are two little words
it took me a while to learn to say,
put a smile on my face,
feel better about myself each day,
making my life good
in spite of some I knew who would
try to put me down,
come what may, for a little words
they hear with dismay,
but I’m not scared anymore to say
so they can take or leave
my love, friendship, all I have to give,
since one little word
showed me how to live and be free
of the secrets and pain
I’d weep over time and time again,
hating to sleep even,
for fear of waking up to a winter rain
even in summertime

Those two little words, needless to say
are, yes, "I'm gay ..."

Copyright R. N. Taber 2008

A Christmas Blessing

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

People often make wrong assumptions about older folks. [I’m getting on a bit now and people seem surprised that I can use a computer!] I will never forget how, some years ago, an elderly couple in their 80's were very kind to me when I was the victim of a homophobic attack; they were devoutly religious and knew I was gay but all that mattered to them that I needed help.

The point of this poem has little or nothing to do with Christmas, and was inspired by a true story told me by a friend some years ago. These days, many people’s attitudes have changed…but not all. In some countries, even here in the West, there are gay men and women too frightened to be openly gay for all sorts of reasons. Yes, I know I have said this many times before. But as my late mother used to say, if a thing is worth saying, it’s always worth repeating.

Those of us whose family, friends, school friends and workmates help us feel relaxed about being ‘out’ should not be complacent or assume it is the same for everyone. It is probably hardest for gay boys and girls still at school. I well remember the torment of having to come to terms with being gay on top of all the usual teenage angst, and sometimes wonder how on earth I managed to survive to adulthood at all!

Some ignorant people will always try to give gay folks a hard time. For my own part, I always like to point out that’s their problem, not mine. [That usually shuts them up.]

Yes, tragically, homophobia is alive and kicking. So whatever happened to Peace on Earth and Goodwill to all humankind? Nor is it just Christmas but other religious festivals, too, that are found wanting. Religion may well be about faith, ritual and prayer. But what is all that really worth if it loses sight of its humanity?

A CHRISTMAS BLESSING

They said it didn’t matter I’m gay,
seemed glad for me when I found you,
accepted us as a couple, for who
and what we are - and we were happy;
days, months, passed and nothing
happened to spoil our idyll although
as autumn slipped into winter
we noticed a subtle change in people
as hearts and minds began to focus
on Christmas – or did I only imagine
they looked away? I knew better
but put my faith in love to win the day

Suddenly, it seemed everyone was asking
everyone else what they had in mind
for Christmas except us, no one meaning
to be unkind, of course, but assuming
'that sort' would not expect an invitation
to any family celebration

Whenever we would venture to suggest
this or that, all we’d hear was,
‘Oh, we’d love to have you, of course
but, sorry, a full house this year;
Besides, you know how some old people
feel about gays and we don’t want
to spoil grandma’s Christmas do we?’
(said most sincerely.) So we anticipated
a quiet, loving time, just the two of us
till, days before Christmas, a phone call
from your grandmother just to say
she was looking forward to seeing you

‘Oh, and your partner too, of course.
Sadly, it was all very different in my day;
few people then found the courage
to walk tall, heads high, and openly gay.
You are truly blessed, for what it's worth
(as much to us as Peace on Earth)

Copyright R. N. Taber 2005; 2010

[Note: An earlier version of this poem appears in Accomplices to Illusion by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2007.]

Once Upon A Wiccan Yule

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

One Christmas, a reader said he was disappointed that I was posting Christmas poems because 'everyone makes far too much of Christmas.' Ah, but my Christmas poems are more about the food for thought any religious festival gives us, and which applies all year round...or it should.

As for Santa, he may only visit once a year but I well recall a Wiccan man who made every day a time for celebration and thanksgiving for all life is rather than as we might wish it was...

Readers may or may not know that Wicca is a spiritual path originating in Britain that recognizes both a feminine and masculine element to the divine; it believes nature is sacred and should be protected. Apart from protecting the environment Wicca's central theme, called the 'Wiccan Rede' an abbreviation of which is commonly expressed as, 'If it does no harm, do your own will."

Stonehenge at the winter solstice (my birthday)

ONCE UPON A WICCAN YULE

At a time of Yule,

I well recall a Wiccan man
who showed me
how love can save the world
if anything can…
and although he would take me
to his bed
time and time again,
it would only
take a kiss, a hug even
or handshake
to help bring home a sense
of common humanity,
cause for celebration indeed
wherever the cap fits

Anything to dull
the pain I was feeling…
for those worse off
than us, excluded even
from Christmas,
whatever reason (or season)
culture, sexuality,
the darker side of memory
or simply separated
from friends and family,
no fault of their own
(unless but for being human)
since no time of year
can ever truly boast a monopoly
on loneliness

So let’s spare a thought
for the sick,
the lonely, and any cast out
for taking a direction
that doesn’t always follow
a convention;
in truth, the Wiccan man
showed me
it’s love can save the world
and its integrity
so long as its peoples respect
nature and each other,
through good times and bad,
regardless of colour, creed, sex
or sexuality

Copyright R. N. Taber 2007

The War Widow

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

I am posting this poem after ‘Edith’ (a lady in her 90s) kindly contacted me to say that she and another war widow friend were moved by it. It appears that the friend's great-grandson has taught them to use a computer and access the Internet. I have to say it is wonderful to be contacted by someone from an age group that often has reservations about using the Internet if only because they feel intimidated by new technology. I will be a mere 65 next month but it just goes to show that we are never too old to learn new tricks.

To my surprise, Edith also told me that she enjoys dipping into my gay-interest blog as well my general blog. It appears she has always felt and thought of herself as a war widow since the death of a female partner who joined the Wrens (WRNS) during World War 2. No one knew of their relationship at the time of course. As far as anyone else was concerned they were simply two friends sharing a home. Apparently, they met at school and were secret lovers for some years. She never married or found anyone else to share her life that way but says she feels blessed for having loved and been loved.

Edith, it seems, has led an active life and continues to ‘feel blessed by wonderful friends and neighbours.'

A sad story, yet, beautiful too. Many thanks for sharing it with us Edith.

THE WAR WIDOW

A soldier’s widow knelt at his grave,
their children by her side;
comrades-in-arms gathered nearby
wondering (never aloud)
whose turn next to shed tears
at whose grave

A soldier’s widow swore on his grave
to love him till the end of time,
raise their children to take great pride
in a father whose presence
felt with lasting passion nor less
for his absence

The soldier’s widow took the left hand
of a thirty something veteran
who had lost his right hand in Iraq
the first time around
before the Mandarins of Power
had second thoughts

The soldier’s widow rose, took comfort
from the young man’s smile
that shone like a beacon of hope
from his wheelchair
among the wreckage of a life
once thought inviolate

A war widow wipes her children’s tears,
the Last Post ringing hollow in the ears


Copyright R. N. Taber 2010

Command Performance

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

CYNIC: Romance, huh! It’s just so corny. Who’s got time for it these days anyway?

POET: People who do corny, for a start.

CYNIC: Yeah, right. I thought they went out with the ark.

POET: Well, you know what thought did.

CYNIC: What?

POPE: Dived off a cliff to get picked for the Olympics.

CYNIC: So?

POET: The tide was out.

COMMAND PERFORMANCE

The moon, it’s dancing
on the branches of a tree
and I see you again,
the way you were with me
that other time
the Old Man willed us
to go free

The moon, it’s seducing
the brightest leaf on the tree
as I stand at a window
where you stood with me
that other time,
Earth Mother, anxious
we feel free

The moon, it engaged
with our fears and desires
as we stole a first kiss
in an empty room carrying
noises from below,
people partying, indifferent
to all else

The moon, it made love
to the brightest leaf on the tree,
serenaded by the wind,
watched over by guardians
of the night sky
conspiring to spare love
a rough passage

The moon, it’s dancing
on the branches of a tree
and I see you again,
the way you are with me;
gay, in love, inspired
by the age-old wisdom
of a natural world

Copyright R. N. Taber 2010

Waiting on the Eternal Sunshine of Open Hearts and Minds

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

For readers who often ask about my informal poetry reading on the 4th plinth in London's Trafalgar Square in 2009; the entire eb streamed video lasts an hour:

http://www.webarchive.org.uk/wayback/archive/20100223121732/oneandother.co.uk/participants/Roger_T [For now, at least, this link needs the latest Adobe Flash Player  and works best in Firefox; the archives website cannot run Flash but changes scheduled for later this year may well mean the link will open without it. Ignore any error message and give it a minute or so to start up. The video lasts an hour. ] RT 3/18

Meanwhile, once upon a time...

STUDENT (shivering): How can you laugh and joke when it is so cold? I’m freezing.

TEACHER (recently engaged): That’s because you’ve never been in love.

STUDENT (scornfully): What’s that got to do with anything?

TEACHER: One day, if you’re really lucky, you’ll find out.

I did.

 WAITING ON THE ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF OPEN HEARTS AND MINDS

Autumn, it has gone
and soon there will be snow
but I have you
and you have me, wherever
we may go

Winter, it might be long
and spring may take its time
but I am to you
and you to me as a love poem
is to rhyme

Spring. new beginnings,
hearts and minds opening up
like garden flowers
to the eternal sunshine
of better days

Seasons, they pass
and nature will have its way,
just as I with you
and you with me, no matter
we are gay

Lovers everywhere
are always there for each other
just as I for you
and you for me, one summer
forever



Copyright R. N. Taber 2010

It's Magic

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

Not so long ago I was waxing lyrical about Doris Day. A reader who has some kind words to say about my villanelles has asked if I would write one about Doris. I have done my best although no poem can do justice to this amazing woman. I’d like to dedicate the poem to her.  Some people hate villanelles, of course, but I have a passion for them. I love the discipline they impose on the poet. So perhaps this poetic form is not inappropriate given that acting and singing, too, require discipline.

Gay or straight, don't we all have our favourite icons, inspiring/reassuring/comforting us for one reason or another? Oh, and why not ...? We all need that feel-good factor for which we ordinary mortals rarely if ever get the chance to thank those from all walks of performance art who work hard at providing it.

Oh, and Doris was born on this day, April 4th 1922 ...which makes here ...who cares? Thank you Doris for making so many people (like me) feel happy just as we stand on the brink of feeling, well  ... otherwise.

Photo: Doris Day (taken from Wikipedia)

IT’S MAGIC

Oh, how I love Doris Day,

singer, actress, gem;
she takes my breath away

Voice now bright and gay,
now like a lovely hymn;
oh, how I love Doris Day

Sparkling, come what may,
as a clear mountain stream;
she takes my breath away

No matter where I may lay
me down, she’s my dream;
oh, how I love Doris Day

She’s all the best critics say,
sheer magic for all time;
she takes my breath away

Though blond hair turn grey,
the spirit shall never dim;
oh, how I love Doris Day,
she takes my breath away

Copyright R. N. Taber 2010

August and Genet

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

[Update: July 8th 2018]: A few years on, and I will be 73 this year...still looking on the bright side of life, and no regrets about coming out  as a gay man years ago - to everyone, not just a select few. I  only wish there had been a sufficiently gay-friendly climate in both family and society which would have encouraged me to do so much sooner.]

I said on a recent post that I may not be able to continue posting daily to my blogs. This was due to computer problems; a virus attacked all my Word files and my anti-virus protection proved useless. A friend has lent me a spare pc and I have ordered a laptop...so hopefully I can just blog on...

Now, I wrote this poem in 1971. I was a full-time student when I wrote the poem and had just finished reading several novels by Jean Genet (in translation). Love or hate this French existentialist…there is no ignoring him! In 1996, I took the title for a small selection of gay-interest poems published by Aramby Publications (Wire poetry booklets series No. 12) before including it in my first major collection.

The poem first appeared on the blog in May 2009. A short, simple poem, it is nevertheless one of my favourite poems among all those I have written. Moreover, I appear to have picked up a significant number of new readers this year which is why I am posting poems that appeared some time ago as not everyone will have had time to explore the archives. I can but hope regular readers will bear with me and enjoy re-reading some poems. Oh, and yes, I do know it is November, not August. I may be in my mid-60s now but I've still got a few marbles left...hehe [Tomorrow, two poems for Remembrance Sunday.]

AUGUST AND GENET

Bright eyes
follow black waves
of handsome hair

Sweaty hands
delight in outrageous
denial

Ah, beauty rare,
beauty dear, shines there,
shines here,
like torchlight
on a thief

A pain grips
troubled loins, makes
breathing hard

Black waves
will smother a man
if he lets ‘em

Copyright R. N. Taber 1996; 2000

[Note: This poem first appeared in August and Genet (Wire Poetry Booklet series, 12) Aramby Publications, 1996 and subsequently in my first collection, Love And Human Remains, Assembly Books, 2000.]

It only Takes a Hug OR Cue for Life

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

[Update - April 24th 2020: With coronavirus COVID-19 likely to demand a significant degree of social distancing from us for some time yet, there will be many of us desperately missing the hug that says "I love you" in as many shapes and forms as love itself.] RNT 

This relates to a time when Pride events in the UK were more friendly than cliquey, more meaningful than trendy. You could go on your own and feel part of what is often referred to as a gay 'community' which, more often than not in my experience, during latter years at least, is more wishful thinking  than fact. Oh, and you could also go on your own and find yourself homing in on the real reason you were there but were too shy or scared (or both) to admit it...

I met my late partner at a Gay Pride march some years ago. He was killed in a road accident.  We did not have long together and I never met anyone else about whom I felt anywhere near the same (or who felt anywhere near the same about me); no subsequent relationship even came close. Whatever, I count myself blessed for taking my cue for life from a love, given, returned and (still) shared in everything I do.

IT ONLY TAKES A HUG or CUE FOR LIFE

Whenever you'd hug me
I'd feel warm, safe, good inside,
and when you let me go
that pleasure was never spent
but continued to ferment
in me as it did that first time
we met at Gay Pride
in pouring rain, sheltering
under a shop awning,
vowing never to go again,
even as we laughed
until the sound soaked us through
and through, neither of us
quite knowing how we'd bonded
so soon, yet we had

Ah, but we saw in each other
a potential rescuer from remains
of the day, confident in a look
that said, I'm so glad you're gay.
won't you come with me,
back into the rain (your place
or mine?) and let's dry out
our clothes, get warm, no need
to be shy about being naked
or where it well might lead even
(we're grown-ups after all);
we could be just what the doctor
ordered, a fix of (real) life,
so how about we give it a go - or
we'll never know?

So we did, and it only took a hug
after that to make me feel as on top
of the world as at that Gay Pride
when we got soaked in pouring rain,
vowed never to go again,
but knew we would if only for seeing
in each other such tell-tale signs
as all lonely people dream of reading
in body language equal
to their own, spelling out a sense
of coming home, light
at the end of a tunnel grown
like Pinocchio's nose
for living a lie, fearing the worst,
denying the best

Though death be unkind in its parting us,
I 'll take my cue for life from your hugs

Copyright R. N. Taber 2008; 2018

[Note An earlier version of this poem has appeared on the blog previously under the title 'It only Takes a Hug'.]

Pioneers Of (Gay) Pride

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

Over the years many gay people have led by shining example and the result is a better deal in society for gay men and women in some parts of the world. In parts of the UK they may be labelled ‘activists’ (Kent and Cornwall, for example) and yes, they were, but not in the way the term is used these days. Gay activists had more integrity then and were prepared to put themselves in the firing line for their beliefs and for the sake of others; they didn’t court the media by way of pandering to huge egos. [I could name names but won’t. I’m sure you know the type.]

Here in the West, we should never forget those who publicly sowed the seeds of Gay Rights (Stonewall) and acceptance of gay people by society for ourselves, not some token tolerance of homosexuality. We owe them much. In the days, for example, when a Pride march really meant something instead of being hijacked by Trade Unions keen to be seen jumping on the Equal Opportunities bandwagon and certain publicity-seeking people who care more about their own self image than much else, not to mention all those straight people who see it as a fun if not trendy day out. Nor should we pay too much attention to some of those whom the media has chosen and crowned as its gay heroes.

For some people, participating in Pride is still a brave first step in acknowledging their sexuality and demonstrating how sexuality in no way undermines our integrity as human beings. Sadly, it strikes me that they are in a minority these days. In this sense, it seems to me that Pride has lost its way here in the West. That is why I don’t participate in Pride Day here in London. [The last time I did, it was so awful I left early.] I know a lot of gay people who feel the same away although I dare say many reading this will find their hackles going through the roof.

Could it be that too many gay people in the West have become complacent about the gay ethic and are inclined to overlook that, even in the West, many people continue to feel that coming out will stigmatise them?

Time and time again, I have spoken to gay people who despise those who remain in the closet (even more than bigots despise us). Closets have their reasons and we should respect those reasons. Yes, we can encourage them to come out and offer support but it is wrong if not immoral, especially for other gay people, to make a closet gay person feel less of a human being for that.

In some parts of the world, as in Serbia only recently, a Pride march still sends out a very serious message to the less enlightened among the heterosexual majority; those who take part are to be applauded for having have the courage of their convictions.

Yes, Pride it is a way of celebrating our sexuality, whatever our race, culture or religion and wherever in the world we live; some Pride events here in the UK do this very well. At the same time, should we not take care that we don't score an own goal by promoting the very stereotypes we are there to protest against ...?

PIONEERS OF (GAY) PRIDE

Ghost faces in a cloud,
footprints in the clay;
voices shouting aloud,
‘I am gay!’

No keeping out of sight
as some might prefer
or (ever) keeping quiet
anywhere

Peoples of the world
and their cultures
descend on the gay word
like vultures...

Pick our bones, they may,
but cannot deny
footprints in the same clay,
faces in the same sky

If progress means maturity,
time meant to heal,
let this twenty-first century
get real

Where ignorance prevails,
still much to do,
dispelling Old Wives’ tales,
stereotypes too

Lose heart though we may,
take strength and pride
from footprints in the clay,
faces in a cloud


[From: On the Battlefields of Love by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2010]

The Rhetoric of Separatism

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

After a number of requests that I do so, I mentioned some time ago that I would record myself reading some of my poems on You Tube. This is our first attempt (me and my close friend Graham) and we are quite pleased with it. Yes, it could be better but I have decided to carry any fans I may have left after this (!) on our learning curve, warts 'n' all. We had great fun on the heath and will return soon. We also recorded a couple of poems at the flat that I will upload sometime next week.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A1z_NiNpRQw

If anyone shows much interest, we will make it a regular event, possibly reading more poems in one session as rime goes by although, for now at least, but I think two is quite sufficient. To be honest, it was such fun to do (and more difficult then we anticipated) that we will probably continue anyway... [If the link doesn't work, try going into You Tube and keyword' Hampstead Heath Reading.'

Meanwhile…

Years ago when gay relationships were illegal I the UK I used to fee a strong sense of separatism, not to mention alienation. Not any more and never again. We are all different. Making people feel different, though, that is indefensible.

'Prejudices are what fools use for reason.' - Voltaire

THE RHETORIC OF SEPARATISM

Some declare us sick
who are gay, only sure cure
by way of this religion
or that for rejecting laws writ
in Holy Books, kneeling
on a customised prayer mat
wishing for Heaven

I decline the way
of bigots and zealots, reply
that I am happy as I am
nor do I feel any shame
in the way Mother Nature
writes my name

Some place us beyond
the pale who are gay, only
salvation by capitalizing
on religion's preferred option,
and if sexuality still
won’t conform, it can
at least be discreet

I decline the way
of bigots and zealots, reply
that I am happy as I am
nor do I feel any shame
in the way Mother Nature
writes my name

Copyright R. N. Taber 2007


[Note: An earlier version of this poem appears in Accomplices to Illusion, Assembly Books, 2007.]

Body Beautiful

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

Today’s poem first appeared on the blog in March 2009 and several readers have asked for it to be repeated.

Now, I am often criticised for expressing the spirituality of sex as well as love. Well, sex for me has always been a very spiritual experience. I’ve never been a wham-bam-thank-you-Sam sort of guy.

Yes, of course sex is fun and physically satisfying…but why should it be any the less a spiritual experience for that? Me, I find sex for its own sake so boring. Foreplay is not only an art worth the learning, but it can also transcend the sexual experience into another dimension altogether….if you let it.

It is always worth remembering too, of course, that beauty is very much in the eyes of the beholder, and we all see people differently.

BODY BEAUTIFUL

Beads of sweat
on a fine chest, pearly nipples
demanding to be explored,
diving instincts exposing them
to a mind intent on…
an explosion of sexual activity
between legs like jelly,
all-quivering desire making ripples
through this body, so near
yet so far from such perfection
that no erection could last
for long, but needs burst like some
joyous song, hymn to love,
lust, desire - call it what you will
but nothing quite like it,
pounding like gospel on the ears,
filling our eyes with tears
for such beauty in a world much
maligned for an absence
of sensitivity towards whatever
icons we may choose
to invest a body of feeling within,
yearning for free expression
and more, much more but even now,
dripping into oblivion - unless
we open our mouths to say exactly
what we mean, try pricking
the heart of any adversary who
will, for sure, never best
the sheer thrill of licking sweat
on your fine chest…

Copyright R N Taber 2009

[Note: This poem was centred on the page in 1st eds. of A Feeling For The Quickness Of Time by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2005 but otherwise remains unchanged.]

They, Who are 'They'? AND Ode to a Homophobe

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

I read yesterday that openly gay USA TV host Ellen De Generes recently made a tearful appeal to America’s young gay people facing prejudice following a series of deaths. She is reported as saying the US faces a ‘wake-up call’ after student Tyler Clementi leapt to his death after his room mate allegedly a romantic meeting with a man and streamed it on the web. This is appalling. Our hearts must go out to Tyler, his family and friends as well as the families and friends of all those driven to such lengths by sick, ignorant cowards. For that is what bullying is, the work of narrow minded, bigoted cowards.

Comments by people like rapper 50 Cent don’t help. He is reported as refusing to apologise after he appeared to urge gay men to commit suicide in a rant on Twitter. Nor is it the first time he has aired homophobic views. In 2004 he told Playboy magazine ‘I don’t like gay people around me because I am not comfortable with what their thoughts are……but women who like women, that’s cool.’ What a nice man! And what an ego! As if any gay man would give such a jerk a second thought…!!

This is the 21st century, for goodness sake. By now, homophobia like racism should be stone dead. Instead, both are very much alive and kicking. Interestingly, in the West, where some people would probably think twice about saying anything that might be construed as racist these days, gay people are often considered fair game by the less enlightened among the heterosexual majority. Do they realise, I wonder, what a good many ordinary, decent people think of them?

People in the public eye have a responsibility to lead by example, surely? Thank goodness for those who not only have the courage to be openly gay but will also speak up for us; we should not underestimate their contribution to the fight against homophobia.

While I am not impressed by today’s celebrity culture, there is no denying that celebrities exert enormous influence in society, especially over impressionable young people. That is what makes 50 Cent’s rant so irresponsible and inexcusable. Of course he is entitled to his opinions and I would be the last person to deny anyone freedom of speech. But those in the public eye do have a responsibility to lead by example. The BAD news is that many don’t. The GOOD news is that more do than don’t. Unfortunately, it’s invariably those that don’t who make a splash in the media and exert a bad influence, especially on impressionable young people and fans.

I well remember how it was when I was a young gay teenager and in my early 20s when homosexuality was a criminal offence here in the UK. It was tough and I contemplated suicide more than once…until I found life, beauty and hope in nature and began to understand I am as I was born and there is nothing wrong, sinful or unnatural about that.

They’ have a lot to answer for…

THEY, WHO ARE 'THEY'?

They said I should
have stood up to the bullies
who tormented me
each day, that they would
have run away
had I not made so vulnerable
a picture, fair game
for any small-minded
conjecture

They said I should
have stood up to the thug
who demanded
I key n my P.I.N. to obtain
my own ransom
from a handy cash machine
or I’d be certain
to have makeshift surgery
on my spleen

They said I would
be a fool to dare embark
on a gay lifestyle,
as it would only bring me pain,
a wasted life;
better to go straight (they said)
prove to everyone
how I'm a 'real' man'
and take a wife…

They said I could
not survive in today's world
where life
is all about surviving a rat race
where 'real' men
need to walk tall, be strong..
but I ignored them,
went my own way, resolved
to prove them wrong

Let the bullies
have their say, web trolls
and gossips
do their worst, I will
overcome
with (more than)  a little help
from my friends,
(hopefully) family too,
and win through

Copyright R N Taber 2005

[Note: First published as 'They' in A Feeling for the Quickness of Time by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2005.]

Why is it, I wonder that homophobes love a bigoted rant?  Could it be perhaps that they are frustrated by their own sexuality? Regular readers will be familiar with this  next poem; it has appeared on the blog before. In the context of this post, I feel it bears repeating yet again. [If interested, you can see/hear me reading it on the 4th plinth in Trafalgar Square last year as part of sculptor Antony Gormley’s One & Other ‘live’ sculpture. [One reason I included the poem is because homophobic attacks, in particular on gay men, had been on the rise in the London area for some time.]

http://www.webarchive.org.uk/wayback/archive/20100223121732/oneandother.co.uk/participants/Roger_T

The web stream had a global audience and it may be of some reassurance to any distressed gay person anywhere in the world that I received messages of support from all over.

Stuff the homophobes! We are all human beings and, as such, have a right to live our lives in peace and freedom, regardless of colour, creed, sex…and sexuality.

ODE TO A HOMOPHOBE

You parade your macho like a trophy
and frequently abuse gay men,
but if so confident in your sexuality
why this crass overreaction?

You say gay people are sad, sick cases,
at the very least immoral,
yet you go to church, sing His praises
(and expect Him to be grateful?)

You say being gay is a mortal sin,
love to take the moral high…
yet what less right gay men and women
to love and be loved till they die?

Gay people need to give truth a name
and learn to give it substance;
Homophobes would never dare the same
for fear of exposing their ignorance

We are all God’s children, the churches cry,
each worthy of His love and our own;
Yet, time after time. their holy leaders lie,
leave gay people to pray alone

The century is changing it has to be said,
a War on Terror all around.
and while one homophobe wishes us dead,
it is a war without end

Copyright R N Taber 2007

[Note: Despite the title, the poem is, of course, also a villanelle, first published in  Accomplices to Illusion by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2007]

Hearsay

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

In May, I gave a special mention to the U.S. gay playwright Robert Patrick. I had a particular reason for this. You see, there was a time many years ago when I was young, I was on the streets. Thankfully, it was only for a short time. I will be 65 later this year and don’t think I could survive that kind of life for long again. So I was very sad to receive an email from Robert to say that his savings have reached ‘the point of no return’ and ‘unless the male/male XXX business recoups miraculously, I will be on the street as of November 1st. I haven't been on the streets since Albuquerque in 1959, and it wasn't pleasant then. I don't like to think what it's like now.’

I heard from him again only recently and it appears he has a reprieve until next spring. Meanwhile, though, I continue to share his apprehension.

You can, if you like, help by buying his DVD lecture on The Caffe Cino; the birthplace of gay theatre and other collectors’ items related to his life and work:

http://robertpatrickpersonal.wordpress.com/2010/04/04/lecture-on-dvd-caffe-cino-the-birthplace-of-gay-theatre/

To see over sixty pages of pictures from the first Off-Off Broadway theatre, and the cradle of gay theatre, the Caffe Cino (New York 1958-1968): http://caffecino.wordpress.com/

See also: MY THEATRIKAL KAREER - 1

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=106603&id=614794354&l=832fffa610

MY THEATRIKAL KAREER -2

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=106608&id=614794354&l=a0adadb933

People like Robert Patrick have been clearing a path for gay people for years. We owe a lot to the likes of this man. He has given much of his life to people like us. Maybe now’s the time to give something back, yeah?

Meanwhile…

Here’s another poem from the Taber archives, written in 1963. I considered revising and updating it to make it more meaningful to today’s parents and young people. In the end, I decided to make just a few revisions, retaining the sentiment and much of the wording in the original poem, discovered among others in a pile of old exercise books last year. Hopefully, readers will think my struggle to decipher a schoolboy’s hieroglyphics as best I could was worth the effort.

Although I was in the closet at school, a few people asked me outright if I was gay and there was some gossip. It was a criminal offence in those days. Even so, to my shame, I denied my sexuality to most people and (worse!)  even tried to go straight. Regular readers may recall that I have said before how I was in and out of that damn closet for years before I finally came out to stay. [I honestly don't think I'd have waited so long if I had been born much later than 1945.]

Teenagers, arguably more than anyone, go some tough rounds with maturity. I may not have been out when I was seventeen but I wasn’t (quite) down either…

HEARSAY

Some say that Heaven’s got it in for me
because I’m gay,
that I should get a grip on morality
and look away
from a wicked history of homosexuality

Some say it’s sure to rain on my parade
because I’m gay,
that I should get a grip and not be afraid
to look away
from a life that puts devilry in the shade

Some say I’m flirting with hell’s flames
because I’m gay
and shouldn’t wonder we’re called names
day after day
who choose to play, oh, such queer games

Some ask, is it that I cannot or will not see
what it is to be gay,
chasing lepers’ shadows, the worse misery
because they’re gay,
don’t I realise I am my own worst enemy?

I simply point to the sun coming out for me
not because I’m gay
but (bisexual) Apollo wasn’t one for bigotry
and if old gods fade away,
there’s still a lot to be read into mythology…

There is no way any Heaven has it in for me
because I’m gay,
believing wholeheartedly in the right to be
however it is we may
relate to our colour, creed, sex and sexuality

Copyright R. N. Taber 1963; 2010

Sexuality, Life Force

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

From time to time, teachers ask me if they can use one of my poems to help kick-start a debate on contemporary issues; it might be on street crime, bullying, political and/or religious issues, whatever. Occasionally, I am asked to send a selection of my poems on a gay theme. Only recently, a teacher reported back to say how today’s poem and another (Ode To A School Cap) ‘inspired a very lively debate on sexuality and gay issues.’ I was thrilled. It was especially nice for me as the teachers adds, ‘A few days later two pupils came up to me on separate occasions to say they had borrowed one of your collections from the local public library.’

Regular readers will know I believe very strongly that discussing gay issues in schools (including Faith Scgools) and colleges is the best if not the only way to put down all the misleading, outdated and often offensive stereotypes that continue to attach themselves to gay men and women in the minds of the less enlightened among us, especially in the context of world cultures /religions. While gay issues are all but ignored in schools, many gay young people will continue to resist and suppress an awakening sexuality while many heterosexual young people (especially boys) will grow up in an atmosphere that, by default, not only condones and but actively encourages homophobia.

We are living in the 21st century, for goodness sake!  Yes, gay and transgender people are better off than when I was at school, but something needs to be done NOW about a rising tide of homophobia and other socio-cultural-religious prejudices across the world and schools should not shy away from placing themselves in the front line where educating the less enlightened among the heterosexual majority is concerned.


SEXUALITY, LIFE FORCE

Once, I met a young man by a river
under a leafy awning of willow;
in a summer’s heat I could but shiver
nor would my lips  frame a ‘hello’

We glimpsed a kingfisher on fair wing,
a flash of breast. colour of his eyes;
in one body. we watched its descending,
as if a blessing on nature’s surprise

We found a voice and let it lay us down,
river anxious we should hear a story
about desire and sex, seeds for sowing
and nurturing as inspire nature’s glory

Come twilight, we went our separate ways,
glimpses of gay love, a life force always

Copyright R. N. Taber 2007; 2010

[Note: An earlier version of this poem appears in Accomplices To Illusion by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2007.]

Intimacy

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

[Update March 18 2018: I have to confess I am not sexually active these days but the poem brings back some happy memories. I still enjoy sensual hugs and kissing with the right guy, but at 72  I suspect very few guys are interested. Now and then, though, life springs a delightful surprise. I enjoy the company of younger men (they keep me young too) and it would seem that there are some about who not only up for the company of a golden oldie like me now and then but also also a spot of platonic-sensual rather than sexual. I guess hope really does spring eternal!]

For those readers who commented when this poem appeared on the blog back in March 2009…never let it be said that a poet lives only in his imagination. Even in his or her 60s did you say? Now, that would be telling….

Ah, sexual intimacy, making love…is there anything quite like it? [Mind you, sensual intimacy comes a close second...] Gay love is no less a glorious experience whatever our socio-cultural-religious background nor gay lovers less blessed by Earth Mother than any other.

INTIMACY

You stood quietly, passively
as I undressed you;
your whole body quivered
when I kissed you;
unbuttoning your shirt, letting
the tip of my tongue
at your nipples, tickle chest hairs
rippling across my cheek
like desire gathering pace in
my veins, flooding me
with the taste, smell, closeness
of your near naked body

Adonis of my dreams, as real
as a full curve of lips
smiling at me, slightly parted,
moist, red, imploring
the audacity of another kiss
before tugging at 501s,
admiring the athletic of a tan
down to your toes,
emphasized again by Y-fronts
slowly, finally removed
by trembling hands, fumbling
with my own clothes

A heart-thumping nakedness,
embracing yours
like the heat of an iron on silk
as we lay down,
joined as one, destined to share
a giving and taking,
intimacy beyond compare
until we are spent,
nestling in each other’s arms,
content to let our hearts
speak our minds, dawn kisses
through chinks in blinds

Nature, blessing the sincerity
of  gay people everywhere,
no matter colour, creed, culture,
or home-school-work ethic
embracing  their human right
to enjoy sexual relations,
deny any inequality in a quality
of lovemaking sure to fuel
the rhetoric of bigots among us,
and get right up the noses
of all those passing judgement
in their glass houses

Copyright R. N. Taber 2004

[Note: This poem has been (slightly) revised from the original as it appears in The Third Eye by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2004]

Love, a Joy Forever

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

A reader, ‘Ron’, has contacted me to say he enjoys my general blog and took up my invitation in yesterday’s post to take a look at my gay-interest blog. ‘…and what do I find,’ he complains, ‘but 'Icon' which has to be about as gay rubbish a poem as you can get.’ Well, maybe Ron… but haven’t you ever eyed up a pretty woman in much the same way? The principle is the same, and where’s the harm? It is, after all, true what they say. A thing of beauty is a joy forever, and a beautiful man or woman is likely to leave a lasting impression on mind, body, and spirit....whether Memory chooses to acknowledge it or not.

Meanwhile…

This poem has been slightly revised from the original as it appears in my collection and on the blog (July 2009). It has been requested by ‘Caroline for my partner Megan’ and also by ‘Cliff for my partner Des.’ Another request comes from ‘Granny K’ for her granddaughter, Louise who will be celebrating a civil partnership with Simone on Simone’s birthday coming up soon. [How wonderful to hear from someone of the older heterosexual generation who can be genuinely happy for a gay couple!]  Here's a BIG hug for you and all my readers.

(Photos taken from the Internet)

Now, for sure, true love (gay or straight) truly is a thing if beauty to be cherished, and where duly nurtured, a joy forever ...

LOVE, A JOY FOREVER

When I am with you,
the world seems a better place
by far as I frame your face
in tender hands (no need now
to catch a falling star)
and all my wishes come true;
my life with you is blessed;
I knew it that time we kissed
after a mad dash
in pouring rain, and missed
the last bus home, shared a cab,
found each other

My dream is yours, the future.
ours to savour, like
a subtle flavouring of herbs
in the plainest fare;
no greater thrill than our arms
homing in on each other
upon each other, a warmth
like dove’s down
filling us, twin lips like petals
waking to a glorious
dawn, whispering us love stories
hearts beating as one

Copyright R. N. Taber 2002; 2010

[Note: An earlier version of this poem appears  in  First Person Plural by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2002.]

The Message OR Aspiring to Peace on Earth

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

As regular readers know, I subscribe to no religion. Nor would I call myself an atheist as I like to think I have a strong sense of spirituality... that I take from nature, nowhere else. However, I have open-minded, open-hearted friends of all faiths, including a close Muslim friend. It is my experience that the majority of ordinary men and women, whatever their belief or non-belief, are ready and willing to take others as they find them and do not let religion get in the way of establishing lasting friendships…however much their leaders, deliberately or otherwise, might encourage them to do so.

Tragically, it is the fundamentalists (in any religion) who shout the loudest and not only make themselves heard but are exploited by a world media who would have us believe they are 'typical' Muslims, Christians, Hindus...whatever.

It has been my experience that the majority of people from ethnic minority backgrounds are culturally homophobic although many self-styled ‘devout’ Christians no less so. However, I am glad to say there are many exceptions and, hopefully, these will eventually prevail over the bigoted majority.

Even so, these are worrying times for gay people. For example, a local newspaper in Tower Hamlets, a borough in the London’s East End that has a significant Muslim population, recently reported what reads as a very disturbing case. A teenager, apparently described by teachers at his school as “devout, humble Muslim” was recently acquitted on the charge of murdering a school student support office last November amid allegations that the victim was a “predatory paedophile”. The 17-year-old defendant admitted wielding the kitchen knife that fatally injured the man but said he had feared being raped or killed by him; he also admitted taking a knife with him in case the man tried to force him “into sexual acts”. Subsequently, he was unanimously cleared of both murder and manslaughter by the jury:

http://www.asianimage.co.uk/news/united_kingdom/8353101.A_Level_pupil_is_cleared_of_murdering_student_officer/

My problem with this case is that, as the article reads, whether or not the victim was an alleged paedophile or gay man, if the student thought he might be sexually assaulted, why visit the man anyway and take a knife with him?

Does this not give the green light to the view that 'It's okay to kill a gay' as I heard two schoolboys discussing on a bus only the other day? Worse, could it not also be interpreted as fuelling the misconception, commonly expressed by the less enlightened among the heterosexual majority, that gay = paedophile?

Whatever, the deplorably narrow-minded Far Right and may well be on the rise in the US and Europe, along with others easily influenced by some of their worst sentiments and, yes, they may well win a few battles in the years ahead…BUT...it/they cannot and will not win the war against those who uphold the principles of a common humanity. Humanity is bigger and better than that…yeah?

This poem is a villanelle.

THE MESSAGE or ASPIRING TO PEACE ON EARTH

The message of Islam is peace
though some people have other ideas;
beware, who dares undermine this

It’s of love the Koran teaches
though some people play on its tears;
the message of Islam is peace

To the world, its prophet reaches
though some people play on its fears;
beware, who dares undermine this

The truth about Islam is kindness
a prophet’s wisdom across centuries;
the message of Islam is peace

May religion, its martyrs embrace,
reject paltry egos poisoning its prayers;
beware, who dares undermine this

We are a common humanity, no less
for its religions and secular philosophies;
The message of Islam is peace;
beware, who dares undermine this

Copyright R. N. Taber 2010

Alternatives OR My Life, My Choices (No one Else's)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

Several readers have contacted me about my poem 'Only Human' about the guilt many Catholixs are made to feel for being gay. Opinion was divided for and against and only marginally the former. One person wrote, ‘…you should be ashamed of yourself for attacking the Holy Father, you along with gay and transgender s**t heads everywhere. As for saying you are not disrespectful of religion, it is not the impression anyone would have from reading your blogs. How dare you share your sick mind and spirit with others…?’

Well, the reader is entitled to his or her opinion of course…and so am I. I have always thought it's a great pity more people aren’t prepared to agree to differ rather than insult or fight each other.

Meanwhile…

Most people who wrote in were sympathetic to my point of view whether or not they agreed with it. One person, though, said ‘It is typical of a gay man to turn his back on God. Go on, admit it. You would be too ashamed to face Him…that’s why you can’t handle religion, because you know God disapproves of your lifestyle.’

Oh, dear, Roger’s in hot water again…

For a start, I certainly don’t believe it is ‘typical’ of a gay man or woman to turn their backs on God; many gay people have succeeded in reconciling their sexuality with their religion in spite of innumerable obstacles placed in their paths by the less enlightened among heterosexual family members and friends, not to mention religious leaders who use religion not only as an excuse but also as a weapon to defend their bigotry.

While I take issue with many aspects of religion, I respect all those who are prepared to enter into its basic humanitarian rather than just theological principles; that is to say, keep an open mindedness and open heartedness without which dogma and ritual are little more than play acting.

Everyone is entitled to believe in what or whom they will or nothing and no one at all. But lose our capacity for humanity and its respect for those with whom we can but agree to differ and we may well find ourselves but play acting in the longest running soap opera of all…

There are always alternatives, even if only sometimes rock and hard place. Moreover, maturity entitles us to make our own choices, not have them made for us by those who like to think they always know what’s best for us, and for whom the sum total of those same alternatives is invariably their ultimate nemesis.

We don't have a choice about being gay, it has to be in the genes or there would be no accounting for gay people worldwide from all manner of socio-cultural-religious backgrounds. No, choice comes if, how and when we decide to openly acknowledge being gay or live a lie. Some societies make this all but impossible, in which those circumstances, it may well be enough to acknowledge our sexuality to ourselves and those closest to us (who may need a little time to get used to the idea). Meanwhile, those gay people who have the moral courage to go a step further and knock on that gay-unfriendly society's door  to be let in deserve our praise, admiration and gratitude since that is the only way bigotry will be defeated.

ALTERNATIVES or MY LIFE, MY CHOICES (NO ONE ELSE'S)

I looked for God in heaven
but did not find Him there,
looked again, in sun and rain
for Earth Mother

Some say it’s, oh, so pagan,
as bad as being gay;
I just see myself as someone
looking nature’s way

God is many things to many,
interpreting His conditions
for the good of all humanity
according to its religions

The sun rises, sets, rises again
and no one takes issue
nor that moon and stars shine
or songbirds sleep as we do

Let nature sue for harmony,
hear our confessions,
and we feed less on acrimony
spread by world religions

To wake, sleep and wake again
may or may not imply rebirth
and, yes, each to his or her own
but we share a common earth

Who looks for God in heaven
and does not find Him there
has but to look in sun and rain
for Earth Mother

See, too, nature assert its power
where humankind gone too far

Copyright R. N. Taber 2008

[Note: From: Tracking the Torchbearer: poems by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2012; revised ed. in e-format in preparation.]

Paperback Lives

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

Readers ask when Book Three of my intended gay-crime trilogy Blasphemy-Sacrilege-Redemption will be available. The answer is I am not sure. I have not been well and have had to put Redemption on a (very) slow burner. Hopefully, it will be finished one day.

The American publisher of Blasphemy  was  hoping it would give him better access to the UK market; when it didn't, he changed his mind about publishing the trilogy, making some very rude comments in the process. Thanks for asking, though, and it gives me an excuse to post this poem.

While it’s true to say my foray into fiction hasn’t been a roaring success, I have received some lovely letters and emails from readers so that makes it well worth all the hard work. Nor have I lost out financially even if it hasn’t made me rich. Moreover, readership of my fiction blog continues to rise so that is also very encouraging, especially as I am primarily a poet.

http://rogertaberfiction.blogspot.co.uk

Some people ask why I bother writing poetry or fiction at all unless it’s going to make me rich and famous. Well, I write both because I enjoy it,not least because all fiction has its roots in real life,and I get to have great fun engaging with my characters. Besides, for me, writing is a necessary therapy in my daily fight against depression; readers are always a nice bonus. In any case, I always knew that finding a publisher when I am writing gay-interest as well as general fiction (and poetry) would not be easy.

Find more info about my fiction at:

http://rogertaberfiction.blogspot.co.uk/2016/05/news-updates-fiction.html

Any creative activity - including sport - can be a more effective weapon against depression or a troubled mind than antidepressants alone; the arts, gardening, cooking, whatever gives a person pleasure and a sense of achievement. For me, it just happens to be writing, with a special interest in poetry that I inherited from my mother.

Oh, and never measure success by some else's measure of failure.

PAPERBACK LIVES

Walking in the park…
saw you lying on the grass
eyes closed, face turned
to the sun. I had never seen
such beauty. No, not
in anyone. I sat down nearby,
trying hard not to look,
pretending to read a book
upside down, peering
over its worn, torn cover
at my dream lover

Later, we chatted…
my heart skipping beats
like a lamb for the joys
of spring in glorious sunshine
reflected in your smile…
grateful just for living;
too soon, we parted,
your hand in mine so firm
and strong, carrying me
halfway to heaven on wings
of a favourite pop song

I tumbled to earth
as blue as my novel’s
paperback cover,
dreaming a happy ending
for each other, unable
to resist one backward glance,
(an, oh, so wistful look);
Ah, but neither could you
who ran back too,
making real the best chapters
in my paperback novel

Copyright R. N. Taber 2002, rev. 2010

[Note: An earlier version of this poem appears under the title 'Paperback Writer' in  First Person Plural by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2002.]

Rewards

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

This poem first appeared on the blog in March 2009. It is repeated here today especially for ‘Ric’ and ‘Gemma’ who contacted me about the poem and to relate how they have tragically lost their respective partners during recent years.

Words can never say enough. I can but hope the poem speaks for itself and will help, in some small way, to ease the pain of losing a loved one.

If love has a season, it is an eternal springtime of the heart... for everyone, both sexes, all ages; nor does it (ever) discriminate.

So never wait for spring to feel love in the air, and give in to its persuasion.

REWARDS

In a spring breeze
I'll run my fingers through your hair,
the love in your eyes
my reason for being alive

In a summer twilight
I let your lips play a sweet love song
on my heartstrings
to remind me I’m still alive

In an autumn cascade
I can feel us falling like leaves of red
and gold, nature’s way
of preparing to stay alive

In a winter snowfall
I’m so wrapped up warm in your body,
the heat of our love
my reward for being alive

No season passes
when you don’t take me in your arms,
fill me with the joy
that’s risen from your grave

Some say love is not for gay dreamers,
but Earth Mother has other ideas

Copyright R. N. Taber 2008

Publish and be Damned (Welcome to my World)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

Regular readers will know that I see gay-interest and general poetry as voices of the same genre; it has always been important to me to include both as I do on my Google Plus site. Moreover, while being gay is an integral part of any gay person’s identity, it is only a part. I, for one, get fed up with people ignoring the other parts as if our sexuality is all that matters.

I started the blog some 10 years ago to give gay people a voice where relatively few voices have gone before in the poetry genre. Hopefully, too, it may give non-gay readers an enlightening insight into the whole gay ethos where, far too often, stereotypes and various socio-cultural-religious conventions provide an unhelpful distraction.

Many of you will recognise an old chestnut of a post here. The poem first appeared here on my gay-interest  blog in 2008. 

Sadly, in many parts of the world, including the UK, it is rare to see two gay men holding hands in the street, let alone kissing. Yet...why shouldn't we? Straight couples do it all the time and no one seems to mind much here when women kiss in public.

It cheers me immensely whenever I see two men or women, plainly in love, demonstrating their feelings in public. It is unfair and wrong that we guys are, more often then not, afraid to do so. Whatever happened to equality, eh? If some people are offended, that's their problem. 

Until we can not only go public but also demonstrate our feelings for each other without fear of prejudice raising its ugly head and shooting off its mouth at us, anywhere, in the world, the whole Gay/Human Rights ethic will continue to have a hollow ring to it. I often listen to the 24/7 BBC TV News channel while I am working on the computer. I hear much talk about inequality and oppression bur rarely are gay issues aired or even mentioned.  I may have missed it but not once in the recent General Election here did I hear a candidate suggest that more should be done to help gay men and women feel more at ease in societies world-wide. [Some do, of course, especially here London. But a lot still don’t and, yes, even here in London.]

This is the 21^st century, for goodness sake! It’s high time less enlightened elements in societies world-wide got real, stopped hiding behind various socio-cultural-religious excuses and began working together towards an expression of common humanity which is, after all the foundation of everything good about society, culture and religion. Where it isn’t, it darn well should be. 

By the way, anyone interested in my fiction blog (serialising several of my gay-interest as well as general novel might care to visit:

https://rogertaberfiction.blogspot.com/2016/05/news-updates-fiction.html

PUBLISH AND BE DAMNED (WELCOME TO MY WORLD)

We strolled hand in hand,

my love and I like millions of lovers

under the same sky,

yet we were cautioned by two cops,

warned we were likely to offend

(not breaking any laws)

since not everyone agrees

that gays deserve the same rights

as others

We may well be attacked

for our sexuality, the cops observed

with wry concern;

not everyone shares our morality

and some may take it personally

(an affront to religion?)

while others will be culturally

opposed to same sex lovers finding

heaven

The cops moved on, we too,

still holding hands, even pausing

now and then for a kiss

and, yes, some folks called us names,

others waves rolled umbrellas

(weren’t cheering us on)

but most people were more inclined

to raise a grudging smile than

be seen to frown

It‘s publish and be damned, my love and I,

among millions under the same sky

[From: On the Battlefields of Love by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2010]

Among Secrets Of The Heart?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

No one likes secrets. Even so, many if not most of us have some. Sadly, even in this sorry looking 21st century of ours, many gay people feel obliged to keep their sexuality a secret for all kinds of reasons; family/ peer pressure, state persecution in some countries, potential career damage…whatever. It’s all the more refreshing therefore when someone - especially a young - person in the public eye comes out to the media and, for the most part, people wish him or her well.

Not so long ago, TV’s Pop Idol winner Will Young came out. Now X Factor winner Joe McElderry has followed in his footsteps. Significantly, the majority of viewers who had already taken these young men to their hearts continue to wish them well in their lives generally as well as singing careers.

All credit to Joe (who admits to having kissed plenty of girls) for discovering and telling us that ’I’m really happy. Now I know who I really am.’

Let’s all wish Joe and Will every success in life, yeah?

AMONG SECRETS OF THE HEART?

Who does not guard secrets of the heart
they dare nor reveal, fearing rejection
by the object of their affection and desire,
lighting a fire in us we dare not share
(can but warm ourselves and take comfort
from each rising flame of unrequited love,
loneliness by any other name)?

Oh, to love and be loved in return, the fire
burn higher, fiercer still, in two hearts
instead of one. Yet, what can we do but keep
the secret safe? How to live, knowing
for sure we love in vain, nothing worthwhile
to hope for but kindness and a chance smile
kindling our pain, exposed for a fool?

If gay people can find a courage of heart
to come out, stand up and be counted
for who they are and all they stand for,
why not a straight person too? No one
can tell us what to do. Our decision. Quit
the lonely hearth, though it serve us well,
or make of heaven a hell on earth?

Better, surely, to let love’s secrets go free,
regardless of race, creed, sex, sexuality?

Copyright R. N. Taber 2010

[From: On the Battlefields Of Love by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2010]

Holiday Snaps for the Photo Album

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

Although not written until 2000, the occasion today’s poem celebrates took place in the 1980's. There was still a lot of homophobia about here in the UK in those days (significantly less in your face now, mostly driven underground by Political Correctness!)

Years ago, a sunny weekend in Blackpool turned out to be a refreshing change in more ways than one …

HOLIDAY SNAPS FOR THE PHOTO ALBUM

Side by side, we met the tide,
plunged into the sea
and swam with the fishes;
now dipping, diving, risen again,
my love and me

Hand in hand, we crossed
the sand, smiling
at everyone; nudge-nudge,
wink-wink on our backs, hotter
than the sun

We stayed just long enough
to gather up our stuff
and stroll the daily gamut,
pausing for a kiss - to oblige
the local press

We hit page three, you and me;
Breakfast  was strained
at the B and B till one guest
declared, a fine pair we made,
and the rest cheered

Over greasy eggs and bacon
and mugs of stewed tea,
we grinned happily, enjoying
a grand vacation, my gay love
and me...

Copyright R. N. Taber 2001; 2014

[Note: An earlier version of this poems appears under the title 'Wish You Were Here' in Love and Human Remains by R. N. Taber, Assembly Books, 2000]

Imagination, the Agony and the Ecstasy

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._N._Taber

A reader has asked me to repeat the link to my poetry reading (for an hour) on the 4th plinth in Trafalgar Square last year as part of Antony Gormley's One and Other: 'live sculpture' project: 

http://www.webarchive.org.uk/wayback/archive/20100223121732/oneandother.co.uk/participants/Roger_T   [NB: Sept 19, 2019 - The British Library confirmed today that the video is no longer available as it was incompatible with a new IT system, However, it still exists and BL hope to reinstate it and make it available to the public again at some future date.] R.N.T

Meanwhile...

Here’s another poem from the Taber archives, discovered in an old exercise book last year and revised but not substantially. The original was dated February 1964 at a time when homosexual relationships were illegal here in the UK. I would have been 18 years-old. Regular readers will know what a rough time I had during those dark, closet years. I guess it is why I empathise fully with people - especially young people - who feel unable to be openly gay for whatever reason.

I still feel guilty about being in and out of the closet for years before I finally came out to stay. It was hard to shrug off all that ugly baggage I was made to carry during my younger years. Sadly, even tragically, it is no easier now for gay men and women world-wide who grow up in a gay-unfriendly environment.

During those awful closet years, I never spoke out against homosexuality as some do (to cover their tracks perhaps?) but was acutely aware that it wasn't enough....

IMAGINATION, THE AGONY AND THE ECSTASY

I see him almost every day
yet dare not let him see how
I’m lusting after him

Sometimes he’ll chat to me,
his every casual word churning
my stomach

His voice tickles my tongue
then trickles down my throat
like juice from a pear

Sometimes we shake hands
and it’s enough to put my mind
in a frantic spin

Oh, to strip off his all clothes
and feel hungry fingers tugging
excitedly at mine!

Gladly, I’d let the glory of sex
with this god from over the way
be the death of me

Instead, I can only fantasize
about my lips descending on his,
pinioning him

He’ll move on, perhaps turn
at his front door, wave, smiling,
sticking the knife in

Copyright R. N. Taber 1964; 2010